


Assault and Recovery

by cq245809



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Depression, Dom/sub Undertones, Eventual Smut, F/M, Feels, Fingering, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Hand Jobs, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapping, Oral Sex, Rescue, Showers, Smut, Wordcount: Over 50.000, shower smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-16
Updated: 2016-03-21
Packaged: 2018-04-04 18:02:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 20
Words: 50,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4147530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cq245809/pseuds/cq245809
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You've been kidnapped, beaten, and assaulted by demons. When Sam and Dean finally rescue you, will you be able to fully recover?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“P-please…stop,” you whimper through your tears. The man before you with black eyes chuckles darkly before backhanding you across the face again. The now-familiar taste of your own blood wells up in your mouth as his strike splits your lip. The two other black-eyed men snicker at your pathetic pleas to stop. 

These bastards have had at you for three days. Three. Days. Your arms ache from being extended above you with your wrists bound by rope hanging from the ceiling. The skin of your wrists is raw from where you’ve struggled against your bonds. 

They grabbed you while you were walking down the alley to your car. You had heard about two local girls having been abducted over the past two weeks, but you had never imagined a passer-through like you would find trouble in the small town’s happenings. How very wrong you were. After grabbing you from behind and knocking you unconscious, they had thrown you into the back of their van and drove you to this place god-knows-where. When you woke up you had already been tied up and suspended from the ceiling. Almost immediately they started hitting you across the face, in your stomach and in your sides. Eventually they began tearing at your t-shirt and pants, nicking your skin as they sliced each piece of clothing away with their knives until you were left with just your underwear and bra. 

Now, purple bruises blossomed all over your torso and face. Blood caked around old cuts while some trickled from new or reopened wounds. You were exhausted from their intermittent beatings and the lack of food and water for the past few days. They were kind enough to let you down to relieve yourself in the small dirty toilet they walked you to, before they had to drag you kicking and screaming back into your cell and suspend you from the ceiling again. After you had begged them to tell you why they were doing this to you, one simply stated, “The boss is looking for a new pet who’ll withstand whatever he shells out. Think of this as your trial run. The last two didn’t make it.”

Another blow across your face brings you back to the present. Your cheek is swelling again and the pain is excruciating.

“Alright, man. Give her a break,” one of the guys calls to your current assailant. You peer up at him through your tears to see him gazing at you hungrily. 

“Fine. The bitch can have a break.” You silently thank god for the respite. 

He swaggers back to his partners, and they slowly leave the room. The two exit before him, but he pauses in the doorway. “I’ll be back soon, sweetheart.” He winks with his menacing grin.

Of the three bastards, he was the one you trusted least. A few times during his beatings he had tried to grope you, but he was stopped by the others. 

“Dude, you know the boss doesn’t want us to touch his potential pets. He wants them pure.” He would stop but he would still look at you with lust-filled black eyes.

Now that you’re alone, you step back a couple of times until you can lean your back against the wall. The pain and exhaustion is becoming too much for you to withstand, and you wonder how much longer you’ll be able to survive this. If you wanted to survive this. You close your eyes and swallow back the sobs. 

The sound of heavy footsteps has you opening your eyes to see that bastard returning. Alone. They never came alone. You begin to feel panic bubbling up in your chest as he swaggers back to you with his lecherous gaze plastered across his face.

“Well, well, sweetheart. Looks like we can finally be alone.”

He stops just in front of you and grips your face painfully in his hand as he leans close to your face. You try to lean away but he simply chuckles.

“Aw come on, sweetheart. I know you want it. You’ve been dying to feel me…have me fuck you in that tight little cunt of yours…”

You struggle against his hold but he just leers at you for a few more seconds before he’s crowding your body against the wall. He leans in to whisper in your ear.

“We won’t tell the others. Boss won’t know if I fuck you real good, I’m sure you’ve had it plenty of times…” But you haven’t. No…I’m a virgin, you think.

He releases your face and begins to roughly grope at your breasts before bringing his hands down to your thighs. You feel him try to pry your legs apart, but you resist against him.

“No!” you cry, clenching your legs tightly together and crossing your ankles. You barely have any strength left but the sudden rush of fear and adrenaline has you fighting against his assault. You can feel his fingers digging into your bare flesh, and he claws violently at your thighs. You can feel his nails cutting into your skin as he claws them across your naked thighs to try and pull them apart. He’s able to worm his hand in between your clenched thighs, and he roughly tries to rub you. The only barrier between your folds and his hand is your underwear. You’re whimpering and sobbing as you try to kick out at him in desperation.

“No! Stop!” you wail. You’ve never been touched by anyone, and you definitely don’t want this demon to take you for your first time. 

He has his left arm braced against your hips, and he has you pressed against the wall. He grabs at your underwear and pulls them to the side to expose yourself to him. He’s breathing heavily, and he’s clearly aroused. He pushes his hand farther between your legs until you suddenly feel him violently shove two of his fingers inside off you. You are bone dry, and his fingers assaulting you feel like they’re tearing you apart. You scream and thrash against him hopelessly. The bastard moans and presses himself tight against your body; you can feel his erection push against your belly, and all of your terror finally sinks in.

He is going to rape you.

“Ohhh, I’m going to fuck you so good…” he moans into your ear. “No one will ever want to touch you again.” He thrusts his fingers into you over and over again for emphasis. You keep screaming, hoping it will pull someone to you and save you. You manage to land a solid kick to him, and he grunts and glares at you with teeth bared. His hand suddenly comes up around your throat and silences you. You struggle against your bonds, your eyes welling with tears and wide with terror as he continues to cut off your air supply. 

“You know what, bitch? You’ll be more cooperative when you’re unconscious.” He leers back into your face as you desperately try to breathe. Black spots begin to cloud your vision as you feel your lungs burning for air. Before you slip away, you both hear some sort of commotion happening outside of the room. The bastard growls in anger at the interruption, and he leans in close to you to snarl in your face.

“I’ll be back to finish with you later.”

He roughly slams your head back against the wall with a sick crack, and you black out.


	2. Chapter 2

The first thing you slowly start to become aware of as you return to consciousness is the intense pain throughout your body, around your neck, and especially between your legs. You barely feel the blood trickling down your thighs. Your shoulders ache from having your weight collapse under your suspended arms for however long you were unconscious.

You start to be vaguely aware of the heavy footsteps entering the room. They pause and then begin slowly approaching you. Your pain and exhaustion have left you practically immobile: you can’t even lift your head or open your eyes. It isn’t until you feel a hand pressing against your neck that you feel any sort of energy run through your body. Your brain immediately flickers to the demon choking and assaulting you, threatening to finish the job later, and you try to jerk away from the hand against your neck. You try to kick out at him, but you can barely open your eyes or focus on much of anything; all you see is a tall, blurry form in front of you. You try to shout, but all that comes out is a rough, raspy grunt from your strangled throat. 

Your assailant draws back quickly.

“Oh my god, she’s alive. DEAN!”

You feel his hands reaching out and trying to steady you, but all you can process is the fear coursing back through your body. You try to back up away from him, but your back meets the wall again, and you cry out weakly.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. I’m not going to hurt you…” You can feel his hands circling around your lower back as he tries to pull you away from the wall and steady you. You register on some level that his voice doesn’t sound like any of the other demons you’ve encountered, but fear has completely clouded your barely conscious brain. You still can barely open your eyes, and you desperately try to move your limbs to resist his advances. Tears are streaming down your face, and raspy cries and screams tear roughly from your throat.

“Please…No!’

“God damnit…DEAN!” he’s shouting out behind him again before you feel him trying to wrap his enormous body around yours to still your struggles.

“Shhh…please, I’m just trying to help you. I’m not going to hurt you.” He speaks calmly in your ear, and you can feel your body slowly giving up your struggles. You’re just so tired…

You hear another set of footfalls run into the room, and your fear spikes again, renewing your struggles against the man’s hold.

“Dean! Help me get her down.”

“Jesus Christ. What the hell did those sonsabitches do to her?” 

You hear the other man approach you, and another set of hands grab at your arms. You manage to string together a couple of coherent words amidst your now incessant crying.

“NO! P-please…don’t!”

“Shhh…it’s okay,” the familiar voice coos softly in your ear, “We’re not going to hurt you, I promise. He’s just going to cut the rope so we can get you down.” He holds you against him gently but firmly while you hear the sound of a knife sawing above your bound wrists. Suddenly you feel the ropes snap, and your whole body falls against the man holding you. He slowly brings you to the floor while he cradles your upper body in his arms. You’ve stopped fighting against his hold, and you struggle to open your eyes fully and focus on anything in the room. You grunt in pain when you feel your still-bound wrists lifted up and a blade pressed between them to slice the remaining cords.

“Those bastards beat the living shit out of her…” you hear the other man whisper to his partner. You finally can focus enough to see the two men hovering above you. The man holding you has long, brown shaggy hair that hangs in his eyes as he leans over you. The other man has shorter and lighter hair from what you can tell in the dingy light. The man holding you gives you a painful smile as he looks down at your beaten and bloodied form.

“Hey. My name is Sam. And that’s my brother, Dean.” He gestures up to the man standing above you. Dean is too busy assessing the damage to your naked form.

“Can you tell me your name?” Sam asks. You feel more tears begin to spill down your cheeks as you try to speak.

“…Y/N,” you manage to rasp out.

“Y/N? Okay,’ he swallows quickly and nods. Sam’s eyes skitter across your face and neck, taking in the damage for himself. You try to focus on his face, but you can feel your vision swimming again as you feel yourself trying to slip back into unconsciousness. Your eyes begin to roll back into your head, and your eyelids try to flutter close, but Sam brings his hand up gently to your face to try and hold your attention.

“Hey, hey, I need you to stay with me.” His hand slips back into your hair and behind your head, and you wince in pain. Sam brings his hand back, and it’s sticky with your blood. He looks up to the wall and sees the small blood splatter where your head was bashed against it.

“Dean, her head is bleeding. She’s gotta be concussed.”

“Sam…look at her legs.”

Sam turns to looks down at your legs, and he finally sees them—the bloody claw marks that bastard carved into you and the blood staining your underwear. He looks back at you with such sorrow in his eyes. 

You can barely keep your eyes open now, and you feel yourself slip away again with the repeated sound of your name being said over and over…


	3. Chapter 3

The next time you come to, you’re in the backseat of a car speeding down some road. You take a moment to process what’s going on before opening your eyes. You’re still cradled in Sam’s arms, and you realize the boys are in the middle of a heated discussion:

“…have to help her, Sam, but Cas—”

“No! You have to try harder, Dean. You have to keep praying to him so he understands—”

“I know, Sam! But he’s too busy off in heaven to answer me! The best I got is to leave a message saying ‘Get your feathery ass down here ASAP!’”

“Dean, what are we going to do? She’s got to be in so much pain. She’s been beaten, and strangled, and—” Sam's voice cracks, “—and god knows what else. We need Cas to heal her!”

“Sammy, I know. But until he decides to show, we’ll just have to manage on our own.”

Silence permeates the air. You have no idea what these guys are talking about, but you think that they at least sound like they have your best interest in mind. For now. You stir weakly and finally open your eyes to see Sam’s huge form looming over you. He quickly looks down at you when he feels you move slightly.

“Hey,” he gives you a worried smile, “You’re okay, you’re safe. We’re taking you to our bunker.” He stops and takes a deep breath before he continues. “W-we have a friend who can heal you but he…we haven’t gotten ahold of him yet. We can patch you up for now, but—” his voice cracks again as he quickly glances down below your waist before looking back up at your face. “Did he…w-would you need…backup?”

You take a few moments and try to understand what he’s trying to ask you…Oh. 

Did he rape you? Do you need backup birth control?

You feel that bastard’s phantom touch, and you shudder and squeeze your eyes shut to try and chase it away. You slowly shake your head.

“A-are you sure? We just wanna make sure you—”

“H-he…” you glance up and interrupt Sam’s nervous rambling, “…he tried—started,” you clarify, “but he didn’t get to… f-finish.” That word makes your stomach flip and leaves a sour taste in your mouth. Sam’s hazel eyes are staring down at you with pity, and you glance away from their intensity before continuing. 

“There was noise coming from the front, and he left before he…Th-that’s when he knocked me out.” You can feel your eyes brimming with tears, and you embarrassingly close your eyes and try to bury your face in Sam’s flannel-covered chest to escape his concerned gaze. He just pulls you a little closer, careful not to hurt you in anyway. 

“Okay,” he mumbles quietly.

“Sam,” Dean pipes up from the front, “the noise out front, that was probably us when we ganked those first two demons. The third one was probably him.”

You flinch at Dean’s words, and Sam’s arms tighten just a fraction more around you, almost protectively. 

“It’s okay,” he whispers into your hair. “Just rest. We’re almost there.”

You nod slightly and slowly breathe in Sam’s comforting smell as you keep your face pressed against his chest. Your exhaustion pulls you into a light doze as you wait to arrive at “the bunker”…

You open your eyes again when you feel the car slow down over an uneven road. The car finally stops. Sam opens your door and slowly maneuvers his large form out of the car with you still tucked in his arms and against his chest. The intense movement has you clutching weakly at his shirt with a sudden burst of fear. Sam pauses and looks down at you with a small smile.

“Hey. You look a little more alert than before.” 

“Ya…” you mumble back. You are able to focus a lot better, but you can still feel your exhaustion keeping your energy level really low.

Dean is also up and out of the shiny black car, and he opens a door to a weird sunken building for the two of you. Sam continues to carry you as he ducks his head slightly through the opening before descending a set of stairs.

“Y/N?” Sam asks, “When was the last time you had anything to eat or drink?”

“Umm…three days ago, I think,” you clear your throat.

“Dean, make some soup for her while I help her get cleaned up.”

“Here,” Dean jogs ahead of you two and passes into another room before he quickly returns with a glass of water. He walks back over to you and gently reaches his other hand out to you, but he abruptly pauses when he sees a small look of fear flit across your features. He slowly extends his hand up in a placating gesture and nods softly before he continues to bring his hand closer to your head at an even slower rate. You realize he’s trying not to spook you. You blink rapidly a few times trying to calm your rising fear before nodding your head a little back at Dean to tell him it was okay. He gives you a small smile and gently reaches around the back of your head to support it while he lightly presses the rim of the glass to your lips.

“Drink slowly.”

You do as he says and sip slowly at the water until you’ve finished it.

“Good girl,” Deans says with a small grin before stepping away. Sam starts to head down a corridor with you before eventually arriving at a bathroom. You glance around quickly and notice the simple bath fixtures around the room. In the center is an old fashioned claw-foot tub. Sam pauses in the doorway.

“Can I set you down for a minute?”

You nod briefly, and Sam squats down and gently lowers you to the floor and leans you against the wall. He pauses to make sure you can keep yourself upright before he raises himself up to his full height and turns away from you. He quickly turns the water on and steps over to a cabinet that has some soap and towels in it.

“Umm…is lavender okay with you?” He twists his large frame around and gestures to you with a bottle in hand.

“Sure,” you smile softly. He returns it with enthusiasm.

Sam walks back to the tub, pops open the cap, and squeezes a few drops into the steaming water. He turns and grabs a stool from the corner of the room and sets it down next to the tub before bringing a large, fluffy white towel and a small wash cloth over, too. He reaches over and turns off the tap.

“Okay,” you hear Sam sigh before he finally turns back to you still sitting on the floor. He looks a little flustered. You wrinkle your brow in confusion as you watch him swallow nervously before speaking again.

“Can I help you clean up?”


	4. Chapter 4

Sam shifts on his feet a little uncomfortably as you stare up at him from the floor, trying to process what he just asked you.

Can he help you…clean up?

You glance over to the tub and then down at your battered body. You’re still barely clad in your bra and underwear. If he wants to help you clean up, Sam might want to touch your body…extensively. You look back up at the hulking man standing above you with wide eyes and feel your heartbeat kick up a few notches in fear. Your fear must show on your face because Sam is slowly crouching down to your level with his hands raised.

“Hey, hey, Y/N. It’s okay. I don’t want to touch you anymore than I have to.” His words should comfort you, but instead you feel your heart clench painfully. You don’t understand why, but his words hurt you a little bit. You think back to what that bastard had moaned into your ear.

No one will ever want to touch you again.

“Uhh, wait,” Sam’s eyebrows knit tight together as he tilts his head down and shakes it. “That didn’t come out right.” He looks back up at you with a slightly pained expression. “I’m just trying to say that I won’t touch you any more than you want me to. I don’t want to make you afraid or uncomfortable. Especially after… what you’ve been through.”

You can feel your eyes brimming with tears again as you swallow painfully, and you shakily nod your head once at him. He didn’t mean it how you thought. He just doesn’t want to hurt you, and he’s not going to touch you if you don’t want him to.

“O-okay,” you stutter out, blinking away your tears.

Sam gives you a quick, small smile before he raises his body back up to its full height and walks over to you. He leans back down and carefully gathers your body back into his arms. He pauses to make sure you are okay before he walks back over to the tub. Sam stops right beside it and looks down at your face.

“You ready?”

You nod, and he slowly lowers you into the hot, foamy water. You quickly suck in air through your teeth in a small hiss at the first touch of the hot water on your bruised skin and sore muscles. Sam immediately stops.

“Are you okay? Is it too hot?”

“N-no. It…it feels good.”

Sam nods, his cheeks a little flushed, and he continues to lower you into the bath until you are fully seated inside the tub. He pulls his one arm out from under your knees and lets his other arm slowly lean you back until you are resting gently against the side of the tub. The sudsy water comes up just below your collarbone. Sam turns to grab the stool and shuffles it over until he can sit down right next to you. He rests his large hands on the rim of the tub and looks to you with his small smile. You notice for the first time that Sam has small dimples that appear on his cheeks when he smiles. They’re such a cute, soft feature on such a large, muscular man.

“Here,” Sam reaches down and grabs the washcloth and brings it over the side of the tub. He slowly dips it under the water and pulls it out, water dribbling off of the fabric and then pouring off in a small torrent as Sam wrings it out. Your eyes track his every movement. You can’t help but feel afraid. Fear has been like a constant thrum in your veins ever since you woke up tied to that ceiling…

“Y/N?”

Your wide eyes flit away from Sam’s hands to see him watching you with a worried sadness. He gently reaches out and holds the wet cloth out to you. With a slight tremble you lift your arm out of the hot water and take it from him. You bring it over to you and press it against the left side of your neck and wince at the contact. You gingerly begin to wipe along your shoulder until it catches lightly on your bra strap. Right, you’re still wearing your bra and underwear. Sam sees your hand still against your shoulder and glances down to see why.

“Y/N, you don’t have to take them off. It’s okay if you don’t want to.”

You peer down at the white bubbling foam floating in front of you as you consider his words. He’s not going to make you expose yourself to him. You could just keep the dirty, bloody pieces of cloth on you to cover what remains of your decency. But as you think about them you realize you want to be able to clean everything off of your body, every single trace of the violence you endured over the past few days. Keeping them on would only be a reminder of something you desperately wish to forget. 

“No,” you whisper. “I don’t want these on me anymore.”

Sam nods softly. You rest the dampened cloth across the side of the tub. You lean forward a little and try to bring your arms around your ribs and behind your back to unhook your bra, but the muscles of your shoulders scream in protest at the movement. You can’t help the grunt of pain that escapes your mouth. You immediately still and squeeze your eyes shut against the pain. If you’re going to get your bra off, you’re going to have to ask Sam to help you. Your fear spikes sharply in your chest.

“Umm, S-Sam? Can you… h-help me?”

You take a couple of more seconds to yourself before you open your eyes and look over at Sam again. He waits until you meet his eyes before he moves. You watch him as he slowly raises his hands up and shifts on his stool to lean over and behind you. When you feel his fingers graze the skin of your back, you flinch and stiffen violently. Sam’s hands immediately pause.

“Y/N, I don’t have to do this if you don’t want me to.”

 

“N-no, please. Just…just do it.”

After another moment you feel his fingers grip the clasp of your bra and gently unhook it before letting it go. He shifts back until he’s sitting back normally on the stool. You shakily let out the breath you didn’t even realize you were holding. You reach up and slip the straps off your shoulders and slowly pull the bra off and away from your body. You let it drop on the other side of the tub. You submerge your hands back into the water and gingerly begin to shimmy out of your underwear. You whimper slightly when you feel the bloodstained fabric pull away from your abused center. A few tears leak out as you close your eyes and try to fight away the awful memories of your assault. Finally you’re able to pull them down your thighs, over your knees, and off of your legs completely. You toss the ruddy scrap of fabric over the side of the tub to join your discarded bra with a squelching thud. You shakily peel the washcloth off the edge of the tub and continue to wipe the dirt and blood off of your bruised and scraped skin. You whimper again when you reach your scraped folds and clawed thighs. You’re able to clean everything except your back and your hair.

“Sam…can you help me with the rest?”

“Ya, of course.” Sam gives you another one of his small, dimpled smiles to try and reassure you. It does a little. 

You hand him the now brownish washcloth and lean forward again to expose your bare back. You take in a couple of shaky breaths before you feel the warm, wet cloth against your back. Shifting your knees up, you pull them up to your chest and hug them to yourself as you close your eyes again. You try your best to remain as calm as you can as Sam gently washes your back. He finishes and lays the washcloth against the edge of the tub again before moving back to the cabinet and bringing back a small bottle of shampoo. He sets it down briefly before picking the washcloth up and dunking it under the water again. You sit back and let him wring it out over your head to wet your matted hair. He does this a couple more times before dropping the cloth and picking up the bottle to squeeze a dollop of shampoo into his palm. Sam shifts a little on his stool before he brings his hands up to your scalp and gingerly works the shampoo through your hair. You wince a few times when he hits the sore spot on the back of your head. After your hair is thoroughly lathered up, Sam lets his hands sink into the water to rinse them off a little before he pulls them out of the cooling bath water. 

“Can you scoot forward so I can tilt your head back into the water to rinse it?”

You nod and do your best to scoot your sore body as far down the tub as you can. You grip the sides of the tub to support you as you lean back until your sudsy hair is submerged in the water. You look up at Sam and he smiles at you again. His own long brown locks hang in his face as he leans over you and runs his fingers through your hair to wash out all of the shampoo. 

“Okay,” he sighs. “We’re finished.”

Sam helps you sit back up normally in the tub before he bends down and picks up the fluffy white towel from off the floor. He pauses as he brings it over to his lap. His brows are knit together again as you watch him think. His cheeks are flushed again. Sam finally glances back up at you a little nervously.

“Do you think you can lift yourself out of this tub by yourself?”

You take stock of how your body is feeling now after the bath. Your muscles ache all over, and you’re still exhausted from the lack of food and sleep from the past few days. You swallow before meeting Sam’s gaze again, and you shake your head no. He just quietly nods his head as he continues to think.

“Okay,” he sighs. “How about I help pull you up so you’re standing, and then I’ll help you step out of the tub?” He sees you hesitate before he continues speaking. “I won’t look at you, I promise. I can look over you and stare at the wall. I’ll drape the towel over my shoulder so you can grab it from there.” You watch his Adams apple bob up and down in his neck as he swallows. “Would…would that be okay?”

You can’t really think of any other way to get out safely without having him grab your completely naked body from the tub itself. That would definitely send you into a panic. You can already feel the fear begin to ache again in your chest. You nod before your mind can decide to just stay in this tub forever.

Sam stands up and flips the towel over one of his broad shoulders. He then reaches out with his palms open to you.

“Ready?”

You lift your arms up out of the water and place your hands in his. He closes his hands, engulfing yours in his massive grip. Sam lifts his head up and stares at the far wall as he pulls you up out of the water. You teeter a bit on your feet and silently stare at Sam’s face in fear that he’ll look down at your wet, naked form. 

“You okay?” Sam asks you without shifting his gaze at all. You steady yourself.

“Yes, I think so.” You let go of one of his hands and pull the towel from off of his shoulders and press it to your chest.

“I’m going to let go of you so you can wrap the towel around yourself. I’ll keep my arms out so you can grab them if you feel unsteady. I won’t touch you, okay?” He loosens his grip on your hand before he lets go of it completely. He keeps his long, muscled arms extended out right by your sides as he promised.

You slowly pull the towel across your chest and around your back, still stiff and wavering on your feet a little. You grab one of his arms again while you keep the other around the top of the towel.

“It’s okay to look,” you mumble. Sam glances down at you with his dimpled smile again, and he helps you step out of the tub. 

“Do you think you can walk, or…?”

You shake your head no as you feel your legs begin to quake from just trying to keep you upright. Sam just nods and bends to pick you up again. With you safely up in his arms, Sam steps out of the bathroom with you and heads back down the hall.


	5. Chapter 5

As Sam continues to carry you away from the bathroom, you smell the aroma of food wafting down the hall from the kitchen. Your stomach gives an embarrassingly loud growl, and you can feel Sam’s low chuckle rumble through his chest.

“Hungry?” He looks down at you with a wry smile. You can feel your face heat up at his teasing.

“Maybe,” you mumble. Sam chuckles a little louder, and you nudge him in the chest with your elbow.

“Hey!” Sam protests with a small laugh and looks down at you. You give him a little smirk and a small giggle of your own. He just shakes his shaggy head with his dimpled smile, this time showing teeth.

“I was going to take you to my room to get you some clothes first, but would you rather we go right to the kitchen?”

“No,” you pause, “I think being wet and naked in front of one brother is enough for me tonight.”

Sam glances down at you with concern, but he relaxes when he sees you still smirking, even if your cheeks are a bit more flushed than before.

“Clothes it is.”

Sam turns into a room and pauses in the doorway so you can flip on the light switch. He continues over until he’s standing beside his bed.

“Can I set you down here?”

You nod, and he gently leans down to let you settle on top of his bed. Sam is still looming over you a little as he tries to disentangle his arms gingerly from underneath your battered body, and suddenly you feel the butterflies beating furiously in your stomach begin to mingle with the familiar fear residing in your chest. Your naked body is barely covered in a towel and is now trapped between a mattress and a very large man. You feel yourself shrinking away from Sam before you even realize what you’re doing. Sam immediately recognizes what’s happening and quickly pulls away from you and steps back from the bed to give you space.

“I-I’m sorry,” Sam stutters, his cheeks flushing furiously. “I was just trying not to hurt you...I’m so sorry.”

The hand you have clenched up at the top of your towel can feel your heart thumping rapidly inside your chest. You close your eyes and try to breathe in slowly through your nose and out through your mouth in a calming manner. After a few deep breaths you shake your head.

“No…I’m sorry,” you whisper. You finally open your eyes and look up at Sam, tears threatening to spill. “I-I shouldn’t have reacted like that. I just can’t—” your voice cracks and the tears begin to fall.

“Hey…Y/N, no.” Sam is staring at you with these sad puppy eyes and shaking his head. “You don’t have anything to be sorry for.” He looks like he wants to come closer to you, but he hesitates, clearly trying not to spook you again. Instead, he grabs a box of tissues from on top of his dresser and holds it out to you. You pull one out and give Sam a small smile and a nod to say thank you. You dab lightly away at the tears trickling down your swollen cheek.

“You okay?” Sam asks quietly. You give him a small nod, and he shifts back over to his dresser and begins to open a couple of drawers. “Umm…would it be okay if I gave you these to wear?” Sam holds out a flannel shirt and a pair of boxers. “At least until we can go out and get you some new clothes,” he adds.

You blush furiously but nod. Sam slowly walks back over to you and lays the clothes next to you on the bed. He steps back again.

“I’ll, uh, turn around until you’re finished getting dressed.” Sam smiles and turns around to leave his back to you.

“Thank you.” You take a moment to look at Sam’s tall, built form before you pick up his shirt. You rub the soft, worn red and blue plaid flannel between your fingers. The shirt is already buttoned so you bunch the material up and put your arms through the long sleeves before gingerly pulling it over your head and rolling it down your torso. You reach under the shirt and pull your towel loose but leave it pooled around your lap to cover yourself. Sam has barely even shifted on his feet, but you’d still rather feel a little less exposed. You also don’t want to see the ugly scrapes striping your thighs. You grab the boxers and lean over to stick your feet through them and pull them up over your legs. Leaning your weight side to side you’re able to pull them up the rest of the way under you until the stretchy waist band is left loose around your waist. You clear your throat while untangling the wet towel from around you and leave it draped across the bed. 

“I’m done,” you mumble.

Sam turns back around slowly and looks over at you. His cheeks look a little flushed again, and you watch him swallow nervously again with slightly wide eyes. Before you can ask him what’s wrong Sam is already walking towards you again with his arms outstretched to you.

“Umm, you ready to eat finally?”

You nod your head quickly, and Sam gifts you with another one of his adorable dimpled smiles. He gently lifts you back into his arms and takes you back down the hall. After a couple of turns you finally end up in the kitchen to see Dean ladling out a few bowls of soup. He looks up when he sees you and Sam enter.

“Hey! Perfect timing,” Dean flashes you a dazzling smile. “I, uh, hope you like tomato rice soup.”

“It smells good,” you murmur as Sam brings you over to the table and sets you down in one of the chairs. Dean places the pot back on the stove and opens a drawer to dig out some spoons. He walks back over to you and drops one into the steaming bowl of soup in front of you. You reach up to pull the bowl closer to you and pick up your spoon filled with the creamy red soup flecked with the swollen bits of white rice. Your hand is shaking a bit as you bring the spoonful up to your mouth and blow on it to cool it down before placing it in your mouth. Your eyes close as you savor your first taste of food in three days. A tiny little moan emits from your throat before you can stop yourself. Your eyes snap open and your cheeks flush immediately with embarrassment. Dean chuckles openly at you, his eyes crinkling at the corners, while Sam looks a little like a startled deer with slightly wide eyes and flushed cheeks.

“Thanks, sweetheart,” Dean drawls. “I’ll take that as a compliment.” He gives you a wink before settling in to his own bowl. Sam clears his throat quietly and also starts to dig into his soup. You eagerly return to your own steaming bowl and quickly swallow every last drop of soup you can scrape from the bottom.

“Here,” Dean gets up and grabs your bowl, bringing it back to the pot on the stove and ladling another healthy, hot serving. “There’s plenty, so eat up. You’ve got to be starving.” He sets the bowl back down in front of you. You smile and nod your thanks. You grab at the tall glass of water already on the table in front of you and drink your fill before returning to your soup. 

The three of you eat in comfortable silence, you and Sam sipping politely at your soup while Dean slurps away at his own. You finish your second bowl and push it away from you gently. 

“You finished?” Sam asks. 

“Ya, thanks.” Now that your belly is full and warm, you can feel the full extent of your exhaustion. You haven’t seen your reflection at all but you’re sure you must be quite a sight. At this point, you wouldn’t even be sure if the darkness under your eyes would be from sleep deprivation or from being beaten to a pulp. You lift your hand up and gingerly touch at your swollen cheek.

“Y/N? You okay?” Dean asks you quietly.

You glance up to see the brothers watching you with worried looks. You blink slowly, your exhaustion creeping in on you quickly, and nod. 

“Ya, I’m just tired.”

“Let’s get you to bed then, okay?” Sam stands up and comes over to your side of the table. He picks you up just as easily as he’s done all night, carrying you here and there around their strange home.

“Get some rest, sweetheart. We can talk in the morning.” Dean proceeds to clean up the table as Sam carries you out and back down the winding halls. He eventually stops at a room right next to his own.

“Can we set you up in here?”

You nod, and he walks into the plain room and sets you down just next to the bed. He lets you settle yourself on the bed this time.

“Thank you, Sam. For everything.” You give him a small smile. He returns it with a brief nod of his head. 

“I’m just next door if you need anything, okay? Don’t hesitate to get me for anything.” He heads back to the doorway and pauses. “Goodnight, Y/N.”

“Goodnight, Sam.”

He turns and closes the door behind him, leaving you in a comfortable darkness. 

You immediately collapse back on the bed with a huff. Climbing carefully under the covers, you settle into the pillows and try to keep any thoughts of the past three days from burrowing into your mind while you settle in to finally sleep. It’s dead silent in the room. You close your eyes, ready for exhaustion to pull you under…and then you hear it. A quick ruffling of something, and suddenly you feel like you’re not the only thing in the room. You open your eyes, and from the crack of light leaking from under your closed door you see it. A man standing just at the foot of the bed.

You scream.


	6. Chapter 6

Your screams morph into desperate sobs as you scramble as far away as you possibly can from the dark figure at the end of your bed. You don’t know how he was able to just suddenly appear in your room, but you are too terrified at the possibility that it is that same bastard who had nearly succeeded in raping you. And maybe he was back to finish the job. 

With arms flailing out beside you, your right hand collides with the lamp set on the small bedside table next to you, and you knock it onto the floor with a distinct crash and the sound of shattering glass. The tall figure remains fixed where he stands, cocking his head to the side every so slightly, as you attempt to extricate yourself from the bed. You fling the covers away from your torso and attempt to move quickly off the bed, but your foot gets tangled in the top sheet and causes you to stumble onto the floor. You vaguely feel the broken glass piercing your palms and forearms before you wrench your foot free and launch yourself back up onto your feet and careen into the wall. You’re shaking uncontrollably from the overwhelming fear, exhaustion, and the sudden rush of adrenaline pulsing through your veins. 

You scream again as your door is suddenly kicked in, flooding the room with the light from the hallway. Sam and Dean burst through the doorway with guns raised. You sob hysterically and keep your back pressed up against the wall as you wait for the expected gunshots. They don’t come. 

Sam and Dean are lowering their guns now that they’ve been able to apparently identify the man standing in the middle of your room.

“Damnit, Cas! What the hell do you think you’re doing?!” Dean shouts at the trenchcoat-wearing man as he tucks his gun into the back of his jeans. Sam quickly follows suit and stows his gun away, too. 

Your panic immediately doubles along with your confusion at the scene before you. Why aren’t they protecting you? They know this guy? Your breathing becomes ragged amid the rising terror and the racking sobs still bubbling up from your throat. The fear has clouded your brain and all you can picture is the three bastards who assaulted you for the last three days. 

They’re back to finish the job.

Your instinct to run kicks in violently and you steal a glance at the opened doorway. Dean is still focused on the third man, who is grumbling back some sort of reply, but Sam is watching you carefully. You tear your terrified eyes away from his concerned expression and back to your only means of escape from these men. And then you run.

Dean immediately turns to you as he sees you try and dart out of the room, and he makes a move like he’s going to grab you. Sam’s reaction though is quicker, and he wraps his huge arms around his brother to stop him.

“Wait!” Sam grunts, and you vaguely hear him continue as you make it through the doorway and smack into the wall. “Dean, you can’t just grab her like that! All you’ll do is set her off even more and we’ll never be able to get her to calm down!”

You barely register the small smears of blood on the wall as you push yourself further away from the room and down the hall. RUNRUNRUNRUNRUN is the only thing running through your brain now. You’re practically hyperventilating, the panic finally settling in completely. Blackness creeps in on the edge of your vision as you stumble along the wall in a sad attempt to get away from the three hulking men in your room. You don’t get very far before your knees buckle, and unconsciousness is threatening to consume you. The tears have been streaming down your face, blurring your darkening vision, but you’re still able to see the shadow that suddenly looms over you. 

“Please, please don’t hurt me anymore!” You sob lowly, still trying to crawl away.

“Shhh, hey, Y/N, you’re okay,” Sam steps over you and squats down carefully in front of you. His hands are out in front of him, and he looks completely distraught at the sight of you crumpled on the floor pleading for him not to hurt you. 

“No one here is going to hurt you, I swear,” he emphasizes the last word. You see him look up behind you with a pained look. 

You chance a look behind you to see what he’s looking at and you see the trenchcoat-wearing man standing not far from you with Dean a few paces behind him. Your fear now heightened by the adrenaline has you scrambling miraculously back up on to your feet and leaning heavily against the wall. Your head is spinning dangerously from the exertion on your taxed body. Sam immediately raises himself back to his normal height and takes a hesitant step toward you.

“Y/N, this is our friend, Cas,” he speaks slowly. “Remember how we told you we had a friend who could heal you? This is him.” You look away from Sam to see this new man standing in front of you, less than a foot away. He’s staring at you with piercing blue eyes, and you desperately press yourself harder against the wall behind your back.

“Hello, Y/N,” the man rumbles with his deep, gravelly voice. “My name is Castiel. I’m an angel of the Lord.” 

Cas steps closer to you and you’re sobbing hopelessly. His brows knit together and he tilts his head to the side, somehow confused at your terrified reaction. He slowly reaches two fingers out and brings them up towards your head. Your eyes are wide as you watch them get closer to your forehead.

“This will not hurt.” He presses his two fingers lightly against your forehead, and you briefly cry out. A quick tingling sensation sweeps through your body and you can feel your pain almost instantly dissolving away. You look down at your hands and watch, completely bewildered, as the tiny shards of glass still embedded in your palms and forearms pop out and fall away, the tiny cuts closing themselves up beneath the drying blood. 

It’s all too much. Your eyes roll back into your head, knees buckling, and your body is pitching forward in a crumpled heap towards the ground. The last thing you can still perceive as you slip away again into the blackness is the feeling of two strong arms quickly wrapping themselves around you to catch you as you fall…

-

As you begin to regain consciousness, you realize you are being cradled against something hard and warm. The fabric against your cheek is soft, and as you breathe in deeply you recognize that familiar, comforting smell.

Sam.

Right. He caught you when you collapsed.

You stay still, actually feeling relatively calm and…safe. You turn your head ever so slightly to try and bury your face further into Sam’s chest without alerting him to your return to consciousness, but your tiny shifting must have been just enough for him to notice.

“Y/N?” Sam whispers, not wanting to wake you if you had just simply stirred in your sleep. You pause, debating quickly if you should pretend to be doing just that, but you decide against it. Instead you nestle yourself closer to him and nod softly. You feel his arms tighten around you gently, welcoming your desire for contact, and he lays his cheek down lightly on top of your hair.

“Are you okay?” he murmurs.

You don’t respond. Honestly, you’re not sure how you feel right now. You remember the drowning fear that had swamped you only shortly before this quiet, calm moment. You’ve been absolutely terrified anytime someone had tried to touch you in anyway, not even necessarily in an intimate way, and now you actually wanted to be coddled by Sam. You take a slow, deep breath in through your nose before you open your mouth.

“I don’t know,” you whisper back.


	7. Chapter 7

You sat like that with Sam for several more minutes before you decide to open your eyes. Sam must have sunken immediately to the floor with your unconscious body after you fainted because you are still in the hallway just down from your room. You glance up at the small red smear of your blood on the wall and then down at a similar stain on the floor not far from where you sit cradled in Sam’s lap. Your eyes come to rest on your healed arms and hands. You shakily reach down and slowly bunch the fabric of the right leg of your borrowed boxers up into your hand to reveal the smooth, scratch-free skin of your thigh. Your throat feels tight with emotion, and you blink furiously to keep the tears at bay.

“How—” you clear your throat, “How did he… do that?” 

Sam shifts slightly, and you lift your head up from his chest to look up at him. He’s gazing quietly at you. You see him hesitate briefly before answering you.

“Cas…is an angel,” Sam begins slowly. “He has different…abilities. Healing is one of them. And so is appearing from out of nowhere, hence why you suddenly found him standing in your room.” He looks down at you with an apologetic look. “I’m really sorry about that. We had no idea he would just pop up in your room and not come to us first.”

You just sit there staring blankly at Sam as you try to digest everything he’s telling you. Angels? Really?

“Is he…still here?”

“Ya, he should still be in the kitchen with Dean,” he says quietly. Sam is watching your face closely for any sign of returning fear. It makes you feel kind of self-conscious and a little foolish. You weren’t always so fragile, and you don’t want Sam to only think of you as a scared little girl…even if you do feel like one right now. You quickly swallow before speaking again.

“Can we, um, go talk to him?” You hope Sam can’t hear your heart thundering in your chest from your nervousness, but right now your desire to feel a little brave is outweighing any trepidation you have about going near this “angel” guy. Sam is clearly surprised as he stares down at you for a moment with slightly wider eyes than before.

“Uh, ya. Ya, we can go talk to him.” He immediately moves to raise himself up from his seated position with you still cradled in his arms, but you place a hand on his chest to stop him. He glances down at you with his brow knit in confusion.

“Could…could I try walking?” you ask quietly.

“Oh. Ya, of course.” Sam releases his hold on you and lets you slide out of his lap until you’re sitting on the cold floor. He quickly gets up by himself and extends one hand down to you to help pull you up onto your feet. You wobble a little precariously, and Sam immediately grabs your upper arm to steady you. You reflexively latch on to his arm, too, and quickly find your center of balance again before grinning sheepishly back up at Sam, mumbling your thanks. He simply smiles down at you with a small nod.

“The kitchen is this way,” Sam gestures with his head down the hall behind you, his long hair slipping from behind his ear to brush against his cheek. You turn your body until you’re facing the correct direction and reach your left arm out to press your palm firmly against the wall. Sam gently releases his grip and slides his hand slowly down the length of your arm until he reaches your other hand and cups it in his large, warm palm. Goosebumps follow the path of his hand, and you glance up at him with a faint blush to your cheeks. His dimpled smile coupled with the feeling of the warm, slightly calloused skin of his hand has butterflies erupting in your stomach.

Sam guides you slowly down the hall and around a few turns until you both reach the kitchen. Dean and Cas are sitting together at the table. They both cease their conversation and turn their heads to watch you and Sam enter the kitchen. You catch Dean glancing down at your held hands with a ghost of a smile at his lips before his green eyes reach yours. You shift your gaze until your looking into the piercing blue eyes of Cas instead. Cas gives you a small nod.

“Hello, Y/N,” he rumbles. Cas glances over at Dean, who is giving him a pointed look, before he turns his attention back to you. “I am supposed to apologize for appearing in your room earlier. Apparently it was wrong of me to have gone to your room immediately, even though I was told to come heal you as soon as possible.”

Dean openly rolls his eyes and shakes his head. He rubs his hand down the front of his face in exasperation before leveling another look at the trenchcoat-wearing man. 

“Cas, you can’t just show up out of thin air in the room of someone who has just been kidnapped and assaulted for the past few days! Come on man, use some common sense,” Dean barks at the man. “You scared the shit out of her!”

“It was not my intention to cause any harm, I was only trying to reach Y/N sooner so I could heal her injuries,” Cas responds, blues eyes glaring back at Dean in defiance. He turns his blue gaze back to you, notably calmer. “I did not mean to frighten you, Y/N, and for that I am sorry.” 

“It’s okay,” you mumble quietly, still a little unnerved by the strange man in front of you. You slowly approach the table, Sam still by your side, and sit down across from Cas. Sam takes the last chair across from his brother and pulls it a bit closer to your end of the table before sitting down. You expect him to let go of your hand, but instead he just rests the back of his hand on the top of his knee, your palms still pressed warmly together. You can’t help the tiny smile that pulls at the corners of your mouth. You return your attention to the blue-eyed man across from you and quietly take in his appearance. His dark hair is sticking up slightly in places with a thin layer of stubble around his jawline. He is wearing a suit underneath his trenchcoat, and the tie hanging loosely around his neck is a little uneven and backwards.

“So…,” you begin, “You’re an… angel?” The tone of your voice comes out sounding a little skeptical, and you glance quickly to either side of you to see Sam and Dean trying to hide quiet smiles.

“Yes,” Cas answers flatly, “I am an angel of the Lord.”

“A-and that’s how you were able to heal me?”

He nods softly, his blue eyes staring deep into your own. You get the feeling he could be able to sense your swirling emotions battling inside your mind. You think you see the corner of his mouth lift in a telling smile for a fraction of a second, but if it did happen it was so quick it barely registered on his face before returning to his calm expression. You look back up into his blue eyes, yours filling with tears. His brows knit together, and Cas tilts his head slightly in confusion at seeing you about to cry.

“Thank you,” you whisper. A tear slips down your cheek, and you wipe it away quickly with the hand not still held by Sam. You glance around at the three men with you, all gazing at you with concerned looks across their faces. You swallow, your throat thick with emotion, before you speak again.

“The men who took me,” you look over to Dean, “They were…d-demons?” Dean nods his head, and you feel your fear beat quickly in your pulse again. Tears begin to leek down your cheeks again.

“Will they come back and hurt me again?” You feel Sam’s hand tighten around yours as you keep your eyes trained on Dean’s face. He looks heartbroken at your question.

“No, those sonsabitches can’t hurt you anymore. We killed them.”

Your eyes widen at his blunt confession of murder, but you still feel relieved. You close your eyes and nod your head softly in understanding. They can’t hurt you anymore. A thought surfaces in your mind and has you opening your eyes quickly in fear again.

“B-but they said something…about a boss. They said their boss was looking for a new pet,” you sputter quickly. “Is he going to come after me?” Your question ends on a small sob as your tears renew their torrent down your face. Sam is squeezing your hand in his, and you turn your head to look up at him through your tears.

“We’re not going to let anyone hurt you again,” Sam states, his voice a little rough with emotion. “Nothing can get to you here. Dean, Cas, and I will look into who this other guy could be and if he would want to come after you.” 

You glance to Dean and Cas and see them nod in agreement. Sam gently pulls on your hand to grab your attention again.

“You can stay here as long as it takes for us to track this guy down. We will make sure you’re safe before you return home.”

Your face slightly falls at his last sentence.

“I…I don’t really have a home,” you state quietly. “I-I was living out of my car when they grabbed me.”

Sam’s eyes soften at your sad confession. He swallows before he speaks again. 

“Then you can stay as long as you want.” He looks up at his brother with a look that says Don’t you dare argue with me. You look to Dean again, and he looks at you for a few quiet moments before he nods as well. You shakily let out your breath with a small sigh of relief. At least they won’t throw you out into the cold to fend for yourself against whatever horrors that could be waiting for you right now.

“Thank you,” you whisper again through your tears. Sam raises himself to his feet, drawing your attention back to the taller brother.

“Come on, you should really get some rest. We can talk more in the morning,” he gives you a sad smile. “I know you can walk, but is it alright if I just carry you back to your room?”

You nod weakly, grateful for his offer. Sam lifts you gently from your seat and back into his arms. You cling to Sam as he carries you down the hall, seeking comfort from this familiar position with him. He brings you into your room and sets you down beside your bed. You notice the shattered lamp has been cleaned up from the floor, you guess by Dean while you had been unconscious. Sam notices you looking over at the bare bedside table.

“Don’t worry about it; we’ve got plenty of old lamps in storage. Just get some rest.” He reaches down and gently squeezes your hand in his before letting it go again. He gives you another one of his warm, dimpled smiles before he slowly leaves and closes your door quietly behind him. You settle back under the covers and lay your head back gently into the pillows. You close your eyes, and your exhaustion helps you quickly drift off to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

_You dream about being back inside your childhood home. You walk by the cozy living room to the left, through the short hallway, and into the brightly lit kitchen. You duck out the back door and onto the wraparound porch before taking the couple of rickety steps down into the overgrown yard. The grass beneath your bare feet shifts seamlessly into dirty pavement. You look around and see the graffiti-splattered brick walls on either side of you. Ahead of you, the figure of a man appears and approaches you swiftly. Before you can do anything his hand shoots up and clamps tightly around your neck. Your arms are raised up high above your head, suddenly bound. You try to scream but nothing comes out of your constricted throat. The man’s inky black eyes bore into yours as a wicked grin spreads across his face._

_“You’ve been such a bad girl,” he breathes in your face._

_He brings his other hand into view and you stare helplessly at the glinting blade held tightly in his fist. He brings the point toward your body and slashes across and down your body to strip you of your clothes. You try to struggle against his hold but your body refuses to cooperate. He brings the point back to your breastbone and pierces the blade into your skin. He drags the knife down your body, carving a bloody line down your torso. The tip of the blade is poised at the apex of your thighs, glinting red in the light._

_“No one will ever want you after I’m through with you…” he snarls in your face. He pulls the knife back sharply before plunging it violently upwards into your folds._

You shoot upright in bed, startled awake and clutching yourself between your legs. Your breath is coming in quick sobbing gasps as tears track down your face. You can feel your heart racing, fear clamping down painfully inside your chest. You try to calm your breathing as you pull yourself completely out of your nightmare.

It’s not real…you’re okay…you’re safe, you chant over and over inside your mind. You uncurl yourself from around your center and try to lie down on your side. It doesn’t take long for you to bring your knees up closer to your chest and hug them tightly to yourself. 

It’s not real…you’re okay…you’re safe.

You shudder as the picture of the bloody knife slicing into your most intimate parts. You practically claw at your eyes trying to distract yourself and erase that mental image. You tearfully stare at the wall as the memories of your actual assault bubble to the surface. 

That bastard’s fingers had torn into you just like that blade would have. You remember the stinging pain of the claw marks across your thighs, and you tug at the fabric of Sam’s boxers again to look and reassure yourself that they haven’t returned. Cas might have been able to heal your physical wounds, but the mental and emotional scars remain. You rage angrily inside your mind.

He took everything from you. He beat you and broke your spirit, leaving a battered and scared little girl. He violated you. No man—or woman—had ever touched you, and he just took it for himself. He thrusted his fingers into you and tore away your innocence. You mourned for what he violently took and raged at what he left. You felt empty. You felt dirty. He was right: who would want you now that you were damaged goods? That bastard was a demon, and his assault on your helpless body left you tainted.

You press your palm against your mouth to try and silence your whining sobs. You squeeze your eyes closed and slowly cry yourself back into unconsciousness.

-

The next morning you wake up to an awful headache. You gingerly touch around your face and feel how swollen your eyes are from crying all night. You turn onto your back and stare up at the ceiling for several minutes. You don’t want to get out of bed; you want to curl into yourself and disappear from the world. You want to forget everything that happened during the past few days.

Well…not everything.

Sam…his tall, built figure; his shaggy brown hair; his caring hazel eyes; his dimpled smiles…

You had never met a man who was so kind, strong, and gentle. He helped you, cared for you. If anything positive could be salvaged from this horrendous nightmare, it was meeting Sam.

After a few more minutes you finally drag yourself from your disheveled bedsheets. The night’s rest, what little of it that was truly restful, at least let you regain your strength to walk normally across your room and to the door. You slowly turn the brass knob and ease the door open a fraction, peeking out from behind it to look down both ends of the hallway. You step lightly down the one end to where you remembered the bathroom was located. You pause outside the door to hear if Sam or Dean have already occupied it, but you are greeted with silence. You open the door and walk over to the sink, turning on the tap. Cool water pours into your cupped palms, and you splash your face with it a few times to wake yourself up fully. You turn the tap off and look up at the mirror to assess your appearance. Your eyes are bloodshot, your eyelids a little puffy, but you don’t look horrible. You just look tired and a little sad, hardly unreasonable from the hell you experienced.

You meander out of the bathroom and down the hall toward the kitchen, the smell of eggs and bacon coaxing you in their direction. You step quietly into the kitchen and find Dean at the stove preparing breakfast while Sam sits at the table with his laptop in front of him. He glances up when he notices you entering the room and gives you a bright smile.

“Good morning,” he greets you warmly. Dean turns his head and flashes you a smile, too.

“Mornin’, sleeping beauty! You hungry?”

“Starved.” You inhale the delicious aromas and take a seat next to Sam. He closes his laptop and sets it to the side before turning back to you.

“Did you sleep okay?”

You nod quietly, not wanting to talk about your nightmare. Sam must be able to tell you’re lying, but he doesn’t press you. Dean opens a cabinet and sets a few plates out on the counter. He dishes the eggs and bacon out and places the skillets back onto the stove before bringing two over and setting them down in front of you and Sam.

“Eat up! There’s plenty where that came from,” he states as he turns back to grab his own plate and settle down at the table. You all dig in to your breakfast. You finish yours swiftly and stand to spoon some more food onto your plate before setting into your meal again. Dean gives you a lopsided smile around his mouthful of food. The boys each get up to split the rest, and you all finish in comfortable silence. Once you all clean up your dishes, Dean turns to you.

“I’m going to head out and make a supply run. Y/N, I can pick you up some clothes so you don’t have to wear Sasquatch’s clothing. I just need to know your sizes.”

You rattle them off quickly, and Dean gathers his gear and heads out. You and Sam stand around a little awkwardly before taking your seats again next to each other at the table. He runs a hand through his shaggy hair and combs it away from his face before looking back at you and giving you a small nervous smile.

“So…” he drawls. “Uh…would you want to tell me a little bit about yourself?”

You smile shyly and begin to tell Sam about your life. You grew up in a small, country town with your parents as an only child. Your parents died a couple of years ago in a car accident; their little sedan was t-boned by a logging truck. You couldn’t afford to stay in your home, so you left and have been living out of your car ever since, driving across the country and working odd jobs to make a little money here and there. Until you were jumped in the alleyway, that is.

Sam tells you about how he and Dean grew up hunting monsters. He patiently answers all of your questions as he begins to explain about what they did and what they hunt. It was a little funny to you how they also drove around the country finding jobs, albeit very different jobs from the ones you found. 

You start to trade stories, laughing occasionally at the shenanigans you each got into when you were younger. After a while, Dean returns loaded up with plastic bags. He hands you a couple large bags stuffed with various clothes for you, and he gives you a wink. You smile and thank him before leaving the brothers to unload the rest of the goods. You carry your bags down to your room and begin to pull each thing out one by one and lay them out on the bed. Dean was extremely generous. He clearly thought of everything you would need, and then some. 

You carefully put everything away into the set of drawers against the wall and eventually return to the kitchen. The boys set out a couple of sandwiches to the side for you, and you join them at the table to eat your dinner. 

“Thank you both again. For everything,” you state earnestly. Dean brushes you off with a smile.

“You don’t need to thank us for anything,” he grunts before excusing himself to retire to his room. 

You and Sam sit together for a little bit longer before deciding to head to your rooms, too. Sam walks you slowly down the hall and stops outside your door.

“Goodnight, Y/N,” he smiles and rubs your arm affectionately before he turns into his room next door to yours.

“Goodnight, Sam,” you call softly after him.

You turn into your room and quietly close your door. You feel your face fall slightly as you begin to feel the fear and sadness creep back in as you look forward to another nightmare-filled sleep. A pattern you’re afraid will become all too familiar to your nights now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everyone! First, thank you all SO much for reading! Your kudos and comments have been absolutely wonderful! I just received a comment that prompted me to write a note here about how I plan on continuing the story. (Thank you again for the comment!) 
> 
> So far I've been writing short chapters in the present tense to capture the details of the reader's rescue and physical recovery. Now that I feel like she has been established in the bunker with our boys, I'm planning on writing longer chapters, some in past tense, to cover stretches of time with some detailed scenes nestled in. This chapter ended up being a bit of a filler, but I'm hoping it will launch me into developing the relationship between her and Sam as she continues to battle her mental and emotional hurt from her assault. 
> 
> Thank you all for sticking with me through my first longer fic. Stay tuned! :)


	9. Chapter 9

Over the next few days you spent most of your time exploring the bunker. Sam offered to give you the grand tour, showing you around the other bedrooms, the firing range, the garage, the war room, and the library. He explained that the bunker had belonged to a society called the Men of Letters, of whom Sam and Dean were legacies, before they were wiped out. You found the looks of the bunker’s interior to be just as fascinating as its history. The Art Deco style architecture was quite beautiful. You marveled at the polished wood flooring and furniture contained within the brick walls and stone pillars.

The library quickly became your favorite spot. Although the numerous books lining the shelves were not your normal literature, you still couldn’t help yourself from fingering all of the dusty spines and reading their strange titles, occasionally pulling one out and thumbing through it. Sam said you were more than welcome to check out any of the library’s tomes, as long as he and Dean didn’t need them for a case. He sheepishly smiled at you and mumbled that he had his own collection of novels in his bedroom if you wanted to read something other than monster lore. You eagerly took him up on his offer.

Sam was so incredibly kind to you. Dean was nice to you too, of course, but Sam would go out of his way to make you feel welcomed. It wasn’t just that he showed you around their home or shared his books with you; it was the way he was with you. He acted like your presence in the bunker was completely normal, even a welcomed change. Sam took the time to get to know your little quirks and preferences, what kinds of food you liked, whether you liked coffee or tea. You finally admitted to him that you preferred tea, and he immediately went out and bought you a few of your favorite kinds. What you appreciated the most was how he gave you space in the mornings when you would still be shaken up from your recurring nightmares. Sam never pressed you about what made you mentally off as you began your days, but he would quietly remind you that you could talk to him about anything. You would nod quietly with a small smile, trying to pretend nothing was wrong. They were doing enough for you by letting you stay and taking on your case. You didn’t want them to have to deal with how those visions and words were beginning to weigh on you heavily night after night. If you were honest with yourself, you would see that they were beginning to take a real toll on you mentally and emotionally…but you weren’t.

On most days there wasn’t much else for you to do but read casually in the corner while Sam and Dean spent their time searching for any leads on who was responsible for your kidnapping. They searched various online news sources for any other patterns of girls going missing in small towns like the one you were traveling through. As you would sit there across from the table the boys occupied, you couldn’t keep yourself from stealing glances at the taller brother. 

You were amazed at how such a large frame could bend itself over so completely around the laptop and books around him. Sam’s long brown locks would often slip from behind his ears and swing in front of his face before he would tuck them back into submission with his long fingers. You often let your eyes wander around the features of his face, taking note of his prominent brow, his long straight nose, and his cheek bones standing out above the light scruff lining his chiseled jaw. Every once in a while Sam’s hazel eyes would look up from his work and meet your own. Your face would flush warmly before you would avert your eyes. You’d catch the corner of his mouth lifting in a small smile before you completely looked away, making you feel a small eruption of butterflies in your stomach. Sometimes you would be the one to catch Sam staring over at you, but he wouldn’t avert his eyes when you’d catch him. He’d just give you a small, devastating grin. You always looked away first. 

While the boys continued to investigate from home, they had asked Castiel to help them track down any information on this “boss demon” while out in the field. It was only a few days later when the angel appeared in the bunker again. Cas informed you all that he had heard rumors of a faction of demons running about and raising hell, but it was unclear whether they were working under orders or on their own terms. Dean shook his head and looked over to Sam.

“Well, we know one guy who would probably know the answer to that,” he sighed. You watched Sam set his mouth into a hard line before nodding slowly to his brother. Dean turned back to Castiel.

“Cas, see if you can’t track down Crowley and bring that bastard with you to meet us in town for a little chat.”

Cas nodded once before he vanished. You looked between the two Winchesters, waiting for clarification, but when none came you spoke up.

“Who’s Crowley?”

Sam turned to you with a slightly pained expression, nervously running a hand through his shaggy hair.

“He’s…a demon. The King of Hell, actually.”

You stared at him with wide, fearful eyes. “And you trust him?” you asked incredulously.

“Well…” Dean replied, “…not exactly. But right now he’s our best bet to getting some answers.”

Sam got up from his seat to come closer to you and looked down at you with a small look of apprehension. “Y/N, you don’t have to come with us if you don’t want to. You can stay here in the bunker.” Sam gently laid one of his large hands on your shoulder, his thumb rubbing small circles into your skin. “But…if you do want to come with us, we won’t let anything hurt you. I promise.”

You stood there for a few moments, letting the warmth radiating off from Sam’s close proximity and his words wash over you. You took a deep breath, inhaling Sam’s comforting scent, before you gave your answer.

“When are we leaving?”

-

The Impala finally rolled up to a sketchy looking bar in the middle of town. The three of you slowly exited the car and walked into the dark, smoky place where you quickly found Castiel and a man in a dark tailored suit standing together in the middle of the floor. The bar was peppered with its usual crowd, but no one seemed to pay any mind to your little gathering in the center of the room. This other man, who you assumed was Crowley, was casually scanning up and down your body with a devilish smirk as you joined them. Sam kept himself planted firmly by your side and stood just in front of you, almost protectively. With a quick nod, Cas and Dean switched places, with Dean approaching Crowley while Cas came to stand behind you in a defensive position. Crowley finally peeled his eyes away from you to look at the older Winchester.

“I hear you’re looking for some information, Squirrel,” Crowley spoke languidly, sounding a bit posh with his British accent.

“Ya, some of your demon bastards have been kidnapping women and putting them through trial runs of repeated assaults and massive beatings in ‘preparation’ for some higher-up asshole. You know anything about this?” Dean was practically growling as he quickly spelled out everything for the man. Crowley merely shifted his gaze back to you before replying.

“Ah, so that’s where you got this little morsel from. You know, I can’t quite blame them for wanting a little taste of that…I wouldn’t mind having a little taste myself,” he gave you a lewd wink. You felt your blood turn icy cold as fear began to swallow you whole. Sam stepped completely in front of you with what you could only describe as a deep, angry growl, effectively sandwiching you safely between him and Castiel. 

“Enough, Crowley!” Sam barked, his body rigid before you in suppressed anger. You peered hesitantly around Sam’s massive form to gage Crowley’s reaction. His smirk only grew wider.

“Oh, Moose, there’s no need for you to get all manly and protective. I was only kidding.” Crowley’s words said one thing, by the glances he was still shooting your way said otherwise. You had unconsciously reached out and gripped Sam’s flannel in your tiny fist behind his back for comfort. Sam reached back behind him and gently laid his hand over yours to try and reassure you. 

“Just answer the damn question, Crowley,” Dean rumbled.

“No, Squirrel,” Crowley sighed, “I do not know anything about what these demons have been up to. I’ve been having some…problems…with some of my underlings. They don’t care for the way I’ve been running Hell as of late. Some have broken off and have been pursuing their own… pleasures.” Crowley’s eyes had shifted back to your form briefly before returning his attention to Dean. “I’m afraid I have not been in control of their actions.”

“Well ain’t that just peachy,” Dean huffed irritably. 

“So you don’t know who is responsible for this?” Sam asked in frustration.

“I didn’t say that,” Crowley replied. “If it’s who I think it is, he’s not much of an indestructible threat. He’s just a little too full of himself. I’m sure you two galoots and Feathers over there can track him down and smite that pathetic excuse for a demon in no time. You’d be doing me a favor, actually.” Crowley adjusted his suit jacket in mild irritation.

“Well, if that’ll be all, I have plenty of things already piled high on my plate to deal with.” And with that, Crowley disappeared in front of you.

“Son of a bitch,” Dean growled. Sam turned around to you quickly and placed his hands on top of both of your shoulders with a concerned look.

“You okay?”

You merely nodded, a little too shaken up to give a verbal response. 

“Let’s get you home.” Sam gently led you out of the bar with Dean and Cas on your heels.

“I will accompany you all back to the bunker,” Cas stated flatly. 

You all piled into the Impala, Dean and Sam in front and you and Castiel in the back. You were slightly comforted to have another body with you in the backseat, even if it was the awkward angel. This was as close together you two had been since he materialized in your room several nights ago. For most of the way back to the bunker Cas had been peering down at you curled up against the door. His gaze felt like he was scrutinizing every inch of your mind, and if your previous suspicions were true, he probably was doing just that. Cas finally leaned over slightly and spoke to you softly.

“Y/N, are you okay?”

You nodded stiffly, glancing at the brothers in front of you. They didn’t hear Castiel’s question over the loud classic rock blaring at a decent decibel from the tape deck. The little prickly feeling on the back of your neck told you that the angel was still staring at you intently. You finally looked over to Cas to see his eyes narrowed and his head tilted in confusion. He slowly shook his head ever so slightly.

“No, you’re not, Y/N.”

You shook your head to try and dismiss his statement, but your watering eyes betrayed you. Castiel peered at you with a look of sadness and pity. You quickly wiped away your tears and cleared your throat quietly.

“I’ll be fine, Cas,” you whispered. You could practically taste the lie on your tongue. You turned away from the angel to look out the window, and Cas didn’t press you farther. 

As you stared out at the dark, blurring nothingness, you could feel your anxiety and sadness creeping up on you again. Left alone with your thoughts for too long, you would always feel yourself sinking low and drowning in the emotional pain your assault had left you with. You felt helpless against it. You could put on a brave face for Sam and Dean, maybe distract yourself for a few hours in Sam’s company, but you could never completely shake off those feelings constantly trying to pull you down. The last couple of days you didn’t emerge from your room until noon, not because you were sleeping in, but because it was getting harder for you to pull yourself out of bed. You wanted to keep yourself cocooned in your comforter as you tried and failed to beat away at your negative thoughts. All of the mental turmoil you were experiencing every night was beginning to feel true to you. You felt tainted. You felt empty. You couldn’t imagine anyone wanting you. But you kept lying to yourself, saying you’ll be fine.

You’ll be fine.


	10. Chapter 10

As soon as you arrived back at the bunker, you were the first one to exit the Impala and head inside. You could feel your emotions beginning to bubble over and overwhelm you, and you desperately wanted to retreat to your room and away from the boys so you could have your breakdown in privacy. It was bad enough that you felt like you were no longer master of your own mind and emotions; you did not need the added weight of embarrassment if the boys were to see you dissolve into uncontrollable tears. You left Sam, Dean, and Cas in the library and darted down the hallway and headed to your room. You were about to reach your door when you heard someone jogging down the hall to catch up to you.

“Y/N?”

You felt your heart drop at hearing Sam call out to you from down the hall. You stopped and tried to compose yourself as best as you could before he came around the corner. You looked up at him and attempted a wavering smile as soon as his massive form came into view.

“Hey, are you okay?” Concern was etched all over Sam’s face as he peered down at you poised outside of your bedroom. You started to nod, but the tears had already begun to slip down your cheeks. Sam’s eyes widened and he immediately came closer to you and engulfed you in his strong arms. You buried your face into his chest and quietly cried, soaking Sam’s shirt with your tears. Sam laid his cheek on top of your head as he rubbed your back in soothing circles. You tried to take in deep breathes, inhaling Sam’s comforting scent, while you regained your composure.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered into his flannel-covered chest.

“You have nothing to be sorry about,” he murmured into your hair. He pulled himself away from you enough so he was able to peer down at you. “What’s going on?”

You were too embarrassed to return his gaze, so you kept your eyes staring straight in front of you. “I’m just…not in a good headspace.”

“Okay,” Sam said quietly. You felt his hands cup the sides of your face gently, and he smoothed his thumbs over your cheeks to wipe away your tears. You finally glanced up at his intimate gesture, and he gave you a small, sad smile.

“How about this,” he started, “Let’s watch a movie and try to distract you. Does that sound like a good plan?”

You felt your heart melt a little at his sweetness. You managed a small smile and nodded. Sam’s face broke out into a grin and he gently pulled you down the hall to his room. He let you enter in before him, and you stood around a little awkwardly in the middle of his room while he gathered his laptop and settled on the bed. He glanced up at you and patted the space beside him.

“Come on; let’s pick out something to watch.”

You took a quick moment to stifle the butterflies fluttering in your stomach at the thought of getting into Sam’s bed with Sam. You slowly walked to the foot of the bed and crawled up to where Sam was spread out casually against the headboard. Sam paused what he was doing and watched you as you crawled up the bed closer to him. You could have sworn his eyes darkened a fraction and his cheeks pinked a bit, but he quickly refocused on his screen as you sat down next to him. 

“Uh…” Sam cleared his throat, “so what would you like to watch?” You honestly didn’t care what you were going to watch, your mind was more focused on the fact that you were going to be watching a movie while curled up with Sam on his bed.

“Um, whatever you want, Sam. I don’t really have anything in mind.”

Sam gave you another dimpled smile before scrolling through the list in front of him. He eventually picked one and clicked on it to load. He settled his back against the pillows pressed up against the headboard and sat his laptop on his abdomen. He looked over to you and lifted his arm out in invitation for you to settle up against him. You felt your face flush a little as you scooted over to him and slowly nestled under his arm. Sam gently pulled you closer to him and let you lay your head down on his chest. Your heart was beating a mile a minute at the intimacy of being cuddled up against this remarkable specimen of a man. You finally relaxed against him as the movie began to play on the open tab of his browser. Within the first ten minutes of the movie—some sort of action flick—you felt yourself begin to nod off as Sam’s warmth radiated around you…

-

_You’re standing alone inside a small, dirty room. You look over at the only doorway to the room and see that familiar dark figure standing there. He slowly enters the room and approaches you. You feel the cold wall at your back as he presses up against you. You’re shaking your head and begging him to leave you alone. He gives you a cruel smile. You feel hands clamp down on your shoulders, but you don’t understand where they came from._

_Y/N._

_You struggle against them as the dark figure pulls out his knife. You keep screaming “No!” as he brings the blade up to your face. You still can’t move away with those hands gripping your shoulders tight._

_Y/N._

_He slowly lowers the blade until it’s poised at the apex of your thighs. You’re sobbing now as you beg him to stop. He only sneers at your pathetic pleas. You feel those hands shaking your shoulders roughly as you stare helplessly at the knife being pulled back._

_“No one will ever want you.”_

_He thrusts the blade forward._

“Y/N!”

Your eyes fly open as you cry out in terror. Sam is above you, his expression shifting from despair to relief in the dark. His hands gripping your shoulders relax a fraction as he stops shaking you. You’re sobbing in muffled whines as he gathers you quickly up against him.

“Shhh…you’re okay. You’re awake. You’re okay,” Sam murmurs over and over in your hair, rocking your body back and forth to try and calm you down. You have the front of his shirt gripped tightly in your fist as you try to quell the sobs wracking your body. 

“Everything’s okay. I’ve got you,” Sam continues to whisper to you in the dark. After another minute or so you’re able to calm down enough for Sam to stop rocking you and peer down at you.

“I-I’m sorry, S-Sam,” you hiccup. Sam just shushes you quietly and cups your face in his large hands.

“Y/N, how often have you been having nightmares?” He stares down at you intently. You try to shake your head and look away, but he keeps your face turned to him and waits for you to answer him. You finally look up into his concerned gaze, and you can feel the tears brimming again in your eyes.

“Every night,” you whisper, a note of shame in your quivering voice. Sam looks at you completely heartbroken at your confession.

“Why didn’t you tell us? Why didn’t you come to us when they started?”

“B-Because, you’re al-already doing so much for m-me. I d-didn’t want to bother you…” you continue to hiccup as fresh tears slip down your cheeks. Sam smooths them away again with the pads of his thumbs. He gently shakes his head at you.

“You don’t have to suffer with this by yourself,” he murmurs softly. You avert your eyes again, but he gently lifts your face up to meet his gaze once more. “Listen to me,” he starts, “I need to know that you understand what I’m going to say to you, okay?”

You nod quietly.

“Y/N… There’s nothing wrong with needing help.”

You feel your eyes widen ever so slightly as you stare into Sam’s sad puppy-dog eyes. You try to shake your head again, but he continues to hold your face firmly in between his palms.

“No, please, listen to me. It’s okay to need help. You don’t have to keep everything hidden and bottled up. It’s okay to let the people who care about you help.”

“B-But,” a few more tears slip down your face, “I d-don’t have—”

“—Yes, you do,” Sam interrupts you. “Dean and Cas care about you…I care about you…” Sam gently smooths his thumb back and forth across your cheekbone in a comforting gesture, staring intently down at you. “Please…please, let me help you.”

After letting his words sink in for a few moments, you nod your head softly, tears still quietly tracking down your cheeks. Sam gives another sad smile before he gathers you back into his arms.

“Shhh…Come here,” he murmurs back into your hair as he settles you both back down against the pillows. Clearly your movie ended quite some time ago and Sam had let you continue to sleep in his bed. His lights were off in his room, his computer had been put away, and he had changed into some light sleep wear. You’re still in your jeans and t-shirt from earlier.

“Y/N?” Sam quietly interrupts your thoughts, “Would you be okay staying in here with me tonight? I…I don’t want you to sleep alone knowing you had that nightmare.”

Your heartbeat quickened under your skin. You have never spent the night with a boy, but you can’t deny how much you want to spend the entire night pressed up against Sam. You nod softly against his chest.

“Can I borrow something to sleep in?” you ask quietly.

“Ya, sure,” you feel Sam’s excited answer rumble in his chest. He detaches himself from you gently and quickly retrieves one of his flannel shirts and a pair of gym shorts. Sam turns away from you once you take them, and you change into the soft, worn pieces of clothing. You both settle back onto the bed, adjusting his pillows and blankets before curling back up against Sam’s side and laying your head back onto his chest. You pray that he can’t feel your heart beating with nervousness and excitement against him. He wraps his arms around you and holds you close.

“Is this okay?” he whispers into your hair.

“Yes,” you whisper back. “Thank you for this.”

“Of course. Goodnight, Y/N.”

“Goodnight, Sam.”

-

You woke up the next morning with Sam’s long figure pressed up against your back, his large arm slung around your waist. You laid there feeling warm, content, and safe in Sam’s bed until he finally stirred. He hugged you tightly back into his muscled frame and nestled his face into your hair. You couldn’t help the smile that spread across your face. You turned your body around until you could snuggle your front into his broad chest, letting his arms wrap around your back. You stayed that way for a while breathing in Sam’s familiar comforting scent, feeling warm from his body pressed against you and the blankets tucked around you both. The combined rumbling of your stomachs finally coaxed you out of bed with a couple of small laughs.

You each got ready for the day in your respective rooms, meeting back up in the kitchen for breakfast. Dean was already seated at the table, eagerly reading whatever was on his laptop screen. He glanced up at you briefly when the two of you came in.

“Hey, I’ve got something here.”

You both quickly took the seats on either side of Dean.

“Cas and I did some more searching last night before he left, and I finally pieced everything together this morning.” Dean looked up at you and steadily met your gaze. “I know where that bastard is.”

You felt your heart seize in your chest. They found him.

“Sammy, let’s head out in a couple of hours. We’re gonna take this bastard down.”

The rest of the morning was a blur to you as the brothers gathered their gear up and loaded it into the Impala. Sam came over to you shortly before they left.

“You gonna be okay here by yourself?” Sam’s face was shadowed with concern as he gently rubbed your arm in a comforting gesture.

“Ya, I’ll be alright. Just be careful. Please.”

“We will. We should be back in a few days. Y/N, if you need anything while we’re gone, just pray to Cas and he’ll come to you. Okay?”

You nodded, and Sam gave you a quick hug. You watched him follow his brother up the stairs and out the door, giving you one last lingering look before closing the door behind him. You breathed out slowly, trying to keep your fear from erupting in your chest at the thought of being alone. You tried to settle yourself down in the library with one of Sam’s books, but you couldn’t focus enough on the pages in front of you. You looked up and stared out at the empty bunker around you. 

You were alone with your thoughts again, and you were terrified at what was going to happen.


	11. Chapter 11

The silence stretching to every corner of the bunker swallowed you up in its cold, oppressive maws. You sat tucked away in the library for the rest of the day staring blankly around you, too consumed in the feelings of fear, loneliness, and sadness churning inside you. It wasn’t like you couldn’t stand to be by yourself. You had been by yourself for most of your life. It was more about the fact that you were afraid to be alone with yourself. Whether you liked it or not, Sam and Dean had become your buffer. You felt like your mind would begin to turn on you when it had nothing immediate to occupy itself with. It would always pull you back into the lingering emotional and mental damage from your assault, like the tides of the ocean ripping your feet out from under you and dragging you back into its depths. You were afraid of being drowned alone in your mind by your anxiety.

When you were finally able to extricate yourself from the corner, you went straight into your room. You didn’t eat, you didn’t shower. You crawled immediately into your bed and nestled yourself within your comforter. Sleep surprisingly took you quickly…

You bolted awake from your nightly terror as usual, but this time felt different. The dream and its overwhelming fear were the same, but it was accompanied by a desperate feeling of need upon wakening. You cried out softly, recognizing what the painful clenching inside your chest signaled.

“Sam.”

You wanted Sam to be here to comfort you, to hold you…but you were alone. You hadn’t realized until last night when he had woken you from your nightmare and held you in his arms until morning that that was what you needed. You wanted to feel physically safe, wrapped up completely in his warmth, scent, and presence. You needed that physical contact to help you wade your way through that haze of fear you woke up engulfed in every night. 

You curled into yourself and cried even harder, knowing you were completely alone in the bunker. Sam couldn’t come to you tonight. You couldn’t even go to Dean to just seek comfort from someone. You even thought about Castiel. He was god-knows-where…wait.

You sat up. 

Cas. Sam said you could pray to Cas. Your heart clenched at the thought of anyone being able to come to you. You squeezed your eyes shut against your leaking tears and began to fervently mumble under your breath.

“Please, Cas, please – Please, help me - I don’t want to be alone - Please—”

The sound of fluttering wings greeted your ears. You opened your eyes and let out a quiet sob of relief at the sight of the angel standing at the foot of your bed. His head was tilted and his brows were furrowed in concern.

“Y/N?”

“C-Cas, I’m sorry, I-I just didn’t want to be alone,” you cried and clutched your comforter tightly to you. 

Cas peered at you carefully before a look of understanding bloomed on his face. The angel slowly walked around to the side of the bed and, after a minute of staring down at you unsurely, awkwardly sat down next to you. He made no move to touch you; instead he placed his hands on top of his knees and looked down at the floor.

“It’s, uh, your nightmares, correct?” he asked in his low, gruff voice. You startled a bit at his question.

“H-How did you know?”

“Sam told me,” he explained. “He informed me, once I had met up with him and Dean, that you had been having frequent nightmares. He was worried about you.” Cas peered down at you to gage your reaction.

“Oh,” you stated softly. You were surprised that Sam had told Cas. You tried to ignore the feeling of butterflies fluttering about in the pit of your stomach at the notion of Sam caring about you, but you quickly dismissed it as him just being concerned for a friend.

“Y/N,” Cas interjected, “If there is a particular dream that has been plaguing your sleep, I can remove it from your mind.”

You stared at Cas for a few moments, hope rising in your chest. “Really?”

“Yes…but you will have to describe it to me so I know which one to locate and remove.”

Fear spiked inside you. You didn’t want to have to talk about your nightmares. Your anxiety must have shown on your face because Cas’s expression shifted to a look of pity and regret.

“Y/N, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to cause you any distress, but unfortunately I will not be able to remove the particular dream that has been causing you anguish unless you describe it to me.”

You buried your face into your comforter, taking slow deep breaths to calm your raging anxiety. You slowly straightened your back and looked back up at Castiel.

“The dreams start out differently…but I always end up back in that room,” you swallowed. “There’s always a dark figure—him—that will appear and come towards me. I always end up p-pinned against a wall with my arms tied up above me. Then h-he always chokes me and pulls out a knife to c-cut my clothes off…” your tears spilled back down your cheeks and you couldn’t keep your voice from turning into a whine. “A-and then he…drags the knife down my chest and d-down to my thighs…b-before he….thrusts…” your voice cracked on a broken sob. Cas gently placed a hand on your knee to stop you from continuing.

“It’s alright, you don’t have to tell me anymore,” he mumbled quietly. “I should be able to locate the dream in your mind.”

Cas brought his hands up to place the tips of his fingers on either side of your temples. You watched him through your tears as he closed his eyes in concentration. After a few seconds you felt an odd pressure build up momentarily in your head before it subsided. Castiel opened his eyes and placed his hands back in his lap.

“I’ve removed that nightmare from your mind. That’s not to say you won’t have nightmares in the future, but that particular one will not resurface.”

A sense of relief washed through your body, and before you realized it you had lurched forward to wrap your arms around the angel. 

“Thank you,” you whispered. Cas remained stiff in your embrace.

“You’re welcome,” he mumbled. “I must get back to Sam and Dean. I will leave you to get some rest.”

As soon as you released him and sat back on the bed, he gave you a curt nod before disappearing. You slowly settled yourself back down into your covers and drifted back to sleep.

-

You woke the next morning feeling surprisingly rested. You stayed in bed for a while before getting yourself up. You showered, fixed yourself some breakfast, and then quietly remained at the little table. Your mind was whirling from last night’s events.

You began to think about Sam. You were still surprised that he was worried enough about you to tell Cas about your nightmares. He was so incredible kind and sweet to you, and you were beginning to feel…something…for him. He was your friend, of course, but your feelings for him were revealing themselves as something more than just friendship. You were craving for his attention, his closeness. You felt butterflies every time he even so much as looked at you. Your heart felt like it was going to explode any time he touched you or held you. That morning when you woke up in his arms was the happiest you felt in a long time. You could still remember the way your heart raced when he pulled you closer and buried his face in your hair. But you kept yourself from believing he could return these more intense feelings. He knows too much about your assault, how you were so emotionally unstable. He was your friend, but he wouldn’t want anything more than that from you. He wouldn’t want you the way you wanted him. 

-

The next few days were uneventful on your end. You read a couple of books in your little nook in the library, or you took a break to walk around the long halls of the bunker. Your nights were quiet; you were actually sleeping through the whole night without that awful nightmare plaguing you. You didn’t feel so helpless and exhausted in the mornings. Your anxieties would still creep up on you throughout the day, but you were at least able to get some rest to recover a bit.

You were scrounging in the kitchen when you finally heard the long-awaited sound of the main door opening and closing.

“Y/N?”

Your head shot up at the sound of your name echoing down the hall. You immediately sprinted towards the front end of the bunker, making your way around the corner and into view just as Sam and Dean finished descending the stairs. Sam tossed his bag onto one of the long tables and quickly came toward you, meeting you in the middle of the room to gather you into a tight hug. You hugged him back fiercely, your arms circled around Sam’s waist as you bunched his flannel in your clenched fists. You held your breath, waiting for him to say something. Sam bent over you and buried his face into the top of your head.

“It’s over,” he whispered into your hair.

You let out a shaky sigh of relief. You couldn’t keep yourself from quietly sobbing into his chest. Your chest felt like it was about to split open from all of the emotions roiling inside you. Sam drew back from you, gazing down at you intensely, and gently wiped the tears from your face in his sweet manner. 

“Shh, it’s okay. It’s all over,” he murmured to you softly. He gently cupped your face and brought your face up to meet his gaze.

“He will never hurt you again,” he punctuated every word as he continued to gaze down at you seriously. You could see him battling his own strong emotions as his hazel eyes stared down at you. You nodded your head and buried yourself back into his chest. You could hear Dean set down his bag beside where you and Sam stood embracing each other. You turned your head so you could see the older Winchester.

“I think this is cause for a celebration,” Dean clapped his hands and rubbed them together. “What do you think, Y/N?”

Sam pulled back to look down at you too. You smiled and nodded your head, your cheek brushing against Sam’s flannel-covered chest. “That sounds great.”

Dean gave you a warm smile. “Awesome. I’m gonna make another supply run. Are you interested in coming with me?”

You nodded enthusiastically, eager to get out of the bunker for a little while. “Yes, I’d love to get some things for myself before going out tonight, if that’s okay,” you asked.

“Of course, sweetheart. Let’s roll out in a few minutes.”

-

Dean let you wander around the strip mall on your own while he headed into the main grocery store to stock back up on food. You made your way down to a department store, one of Dean’s credit cards nestled in the back pocket of your jeans. He emphasized to you to get whatever you wanted and not to worry about the cost. You had narrowed your eyes at him, but he merely shook you off with a smile and said he would explain it all to you later.

You walked into the store and headed toward the Woman’s clothing section. You debated on wanting to find a dress to wear out that night, but you eventually settled on a pair of dark, fitted jeans and a bright red top that gathered up high on your neck and showed off your shoulders nicely. You made your way over to the shoe department and zeroed in on a pair of black wedged booties. You tried them on and walked around in them for a bit, surprised at how comfortable they were. You ended up picking a pack of simple gold studs on your way over to the makeup counters. After perusing through the rows of products for several minutes you selected an eyeshadow pallet that featured some glitzy neutral colors, a flattering shade of lipstick, and a simple tube of black mascara. You took another minute to consider some other products before deciding to grab some eyeliner, bronzer, and makeup brushes, as well. 

Satisfied with your findings, you checked out at the cashier and made your way back down toward the grocery store’s parking lot. You spotted Dean stowing his last remaining plastic bags into the trunk of the Impala. He slammed the trunk shut before turning around. He broke out in a wide grin when he saw you carrying your large bag of spoils. 

“What, did you decide to buy out the whole store while you were in there?” Dean teased you. You rolled your eyes back at him playfully before you settled your purchases into the backseat before you both climbed into the front. 

You were in no way ashamed of buying all the things you did. After everything you had been through, shopping for yourself felt a little therapeutic. All you wanted to do was get dressed up, spend some time pampering yourself, and go out tonight with Sam and Dean and have some fun. You needed a night to pretend that everything was normal and to get your mind off of your assault. If you were honest with yourself, you were kind of excited to doll yourself up and show Sam that you weren’t always such a mess. You wouldn’t let yourself dwell on that thought for long though. Instead you tried to shift your mind to wanting to see if you couldn’t attract some other guys tonight, just to prove to yourself that you could be desirable. You struggled to ignore the niggling thought in the back of your mind that you were still tainted and unwanted…but these other guys wouldn’t have to know about what happened to you.

You could pretend you were fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, and thank you all so much again for reading! I meant for this chapter to be longer than it ended up being...but it didn't quite feel right for me to cram a whole lot of developments and action into this one section. The next part of this (as it exhists in my mind) has a lot happening, with more physical and emotional trials for the reader and some really important developments between her and Sam. It's gonna get pretty heavy pretty fast, and I didn't want this chapter to feel like I was barreling into the big turning point of this story. So, thank you for your patience, thank you for all of your comments and kudos, and stay tuned for some major Sam/Reader developments!


	12. Chapter 12

The Impala came to a stop as you and Dean returned to the bunker. Dean put her into park before he began to rummage through his coat pocket. 

“Here,” he pulled out a cellphone and held it out to you. “This is for you.”

You stared at it in confusion before shaking your head.

“Dean, no, I’m not gonna take that from you.”

“Take it, Y/N,” he emphasized as he continued to hold it out in front of you. You reluctantly took it from his grasp.

“Sammy and I want you to have it so we can always have a way to reach you when we’re away. He was getting really pissed about not being able to contact you while we were out ganking that son of a bitch. It’s already got our numbers programmed into it.”

“Thanks,” you smiled softly at Dean while you fidgeted around with the phone in your hands.

“So, uh, there was one other thing we wanted to talk to you about,” Dean mumbled. He gave you a brief, nervous glance before he continued.

“Now that this thing is over, we don’t want you to feel like you have to move along. I mean, if you do want to that’s totally fine, but…we’d really like for you to stay.” He gives you a meaningful look. “Before you start going off on not wanting to be a burden, you won’t be. Sammy and I noticed how easily you’ve been making your way through the library. We could always use some extra help at home base while we’re out on a hunt. Would…would you want that?” He peered over you, a little unsure of your reaction.

You sat there and absorbed everything slowly. You eventually cleared your throat and looked back over to Dean, anxiously waiting your response.

“Ya, I would really like that,” you smiled. Dean was beaming from ear to ear.

“Awesome!” He reached out and squeezed your shoulder affectionately. “Alright, let’s get all of your crap inside.”

-

You had spent the last thirty minutes or so changing into your new clothes and having fun with applying your makeup. You made the last few finishing touches and finally stood back to look at yourself in the bathroom mirror. You smiled wide at your reflection. You looked good, and you felt good, too. You weren’t someone that needed to wear makeup to feel good, but you still enjoyed getting dolled up and looking put-together.

You quickly returned to your room to set your makeup on the top of your dresser and slip into your black ankle booties. Slipping your new phone in your front pocket, you left your room and headed down the hall to where the brothers were waiting for you. When you walked through the doorway, Dean was the first to notice you. He gave you a lopsided grin and whistled low.

“Well, don’t you clean up nice,” he teased you with a wink. You rolled your eyes with a smile.

Sam’s head shot up at Dean’s whistle and words. When he saw you, he stopped and stared at you with wide eyes, his mouth slightly agape. 

“Wow,” he whispered under his breath. You blushed violently at his quiet appraisal. Dean nudged his brother playfully, a shameless grin plastered across his face.

“Come on, Sammy, you better close your mouth before you start drooling on yourself,” he teased. Sam snapped his mouth shut, face flushing a deep red, and shot his brother an irritated look.

“Shut up, Dean.”

Dean simply chuckled amusedly and gave you another unabashed wink. “Alright, let’s get this party started!” He picked up his leather jacket from where it was slung across the back of his chair and bounded up the stairs. You began walking through the room, and Sam stood up as you approached him.

“Uh, sorry,” he mumbled, still red in the face. “You just look really beautiful.” 

Your heart pounded inside your chest, your cheeks still hot and pink. “Thank you,” you breathed.

Sam flashed you one of his dimpled smiles and gestured for you to head towards the stairs before him. You looked up at him and smiled, your heart skipping a beat when you felt his large hand pressed gently at your lower back to guide you alongside of him as you approached the stairs. You climbed up them ahead of Sam and continued out the door to find Dean already ready to go in the rumbling Impala.

-

You could feel the bass reverberating in your chest even before the three of you stepped into the bar. The place was packed with tons of people, half crowded around the bar and the rest dancing on the makeshift dancefloor in front of a DJ booth.

“What the hell is this shit?” Dean cursed over the blaring dance music. Sam was chuckling to himself at his brother’s disgust.

“This is called ‘today’s music,’ Dean. But I guess you wouldn’t know that since you never listen to anything after the 80’s,” Sam shot you a wink and you giggled.

“Of course we come out on the one night of the month this place doesn’t play decent stuff,” he grumbled as you all headed towards the bar. 

“Aw, come on, Dean. At least we can still dance to this,” you laughed, already bouncing slightly to the beat. He rolled his eyes at you with a smile and shook his head. 

“I’m gonna need a lot to drink before that happens. What’s your drink of choice, Y/N?”

“Bourbon,” you answered quickly. Dean’s face lit up instantly.

“Yes! My kind of girl,” he winked at you. “Sammy, how about you?”

Sam shrugged. “I’ll do bourbon, too.”

“Alright! Three shots of bourbon coming up!” Dean waved the bartender down and ordered the shots. The shots were poured, and Dean handed one each to you and Sam before lifting up his own. “Cheers, bitches!”

You all tossed them back, and you relished the warm burn down your throat. You held the empty shot glass up towards the brothers. “Another?”

Dean eagerly collected the glasses and turned back to the bar. Sam was smiling and shaking his head at you. You nudged him playfully in the side.

“What?”

“Nothing,” he laughed. “I just didn’t picture you to be the party type.”

“Mmmm…just wait until I get some more booze in my system,” you teased, biting your bottom lip and waggling your brows suggestively. Sam burst out laughing and you laughed with him. You kept bouncing along with the thrumming music until Dean returned with your second round.

“Bottoms up,” you toasted before swallowing the bourbon down. You handed the glass back to Dean. “Okay, now it’s time to sip on something. Bourbon and ginger ale for me, please,” You winked at Dean. Dean pointed towards Sam and mouthed “Beer?” before turning back to the bar and getting your order. 

You all stood around with each other sipping on your drinks, hanging out and chatting casually. You continued to sway your hips to the beat as you began to really feel the bourbon kicking in. You felt great. You were so relaxed and having fun with the boys. Sam kept beaming down at you with his beautiful dimpled smile as he watched you getting noticeably tipsy.

The music changed to the airhorn-blaring, hyper up-beat background of your favorite Iggy Azalea song and you squealed in excitement. The boys stared down at you, both looking confused and amused while you began to dance outright to the beat and backed up towards the dance floor. You held your drink up while flipping your hair around and moving your hips quickly along with the beat. The music slowed briefly before you began to sing along.

“Fuck love, give me diamonds. Fuck love, give me diamonds…”

Sam and Dean both went wide-eyed and cracked up at watching you dance and singing out the brazen lyrics.

“I’m already in love with myself. So in love with myself. I’m already in love with myself. Fuck love, give me diamonds…” You walked back over to the boys, handing Sam your empty glass as you continued to sing along, “So you want a type of bitch that'll stay at home. But I'm too busy getting mine on. So the kinda girl you want. Boy you need to call Tyrone…” You winked at Sam before turning on your heel and heading straight into the mass of people grinding on the dancefloor.

You were so hyped up on your excitement and the booze that you didn’t care that you were dancing by yourself. You continued to shake and sway your hips back and forth to the rest of the song until it changed to another, which you recognized as “HeadBand” by B.o.B. Shifting the pace of your dancing to the new beat, you glanced back to see what the boys were doing. 

Dean was turning back to the bar to get another beer. Sam was staring at you, a goofy smile plastered on his face. For a brief second you thought he was going to come over and join you, but he hesitated. His face fell slightly, and you gave him a confused look. Then you felt large hands gently circling your waist, startling you.

“You wanna dance?” the man rumbled in your ear as he pressed his body to your back. You thought about Sam, but after a moment you nodded your head. You had wanted to see if you could attract any men, and here was someone enthusiastically grinding up on you. 

You let the man turn the both of you so you weren’t facing the bar and continued to roll your hips back into him along with music. You were a little nervous, but you slowly tried to relax and sink into the music. He must have felt you relaxing as he pulled you a little tighter against him, nuzzling his face into the side of your face and neck. His hands had drifted low on your hips, and he began to let his fingers slip down along the junctures of your thighs towards your center. You immediately stiffened and grabbed at his hands to stop his advances. 

“Aw, come on, honey,” he purred in your ear, clutching you tighter against him. You could feel his hard-on pressing into your ass. “You know you want it…” He continued to slide his palms along your hips until his fingertips was pressing roughly in between your legs. You flew into a panic and tried to shove him away from you, but he stubbornly held you in place and tried to rub you. 

His whole body was ripped away from you suddenly and you stumbled at your abrupt release. You whirled around to see Sam hurling the creep away from you, his anger plainly written on his face. Dean appeared right behind Sam as the younger Winchester towered over the man threateningly. Dean glanced between your distraught figure and the rage rolling off of his brother and quickly deduced what was going on. The creep was giving Sam lip, trying to salvage what was left of his manly pride. He looked over at you and shouted out so you could hear him, “I wouldn’t want to fuck her anyways!” Your stomach dropped.

Dean immediately stepped in between him and his brother and grabbed the guy while shoving Sam towards your direction. Sam turned to you, his face shifting from anger to concern as he rushed over to you. He quickly encased you in his strong arms and held you close.

“Are you alright?”

You clutched at his shirt front, shaking and crying uncontrollably. You squeezed your eyes shut as your terror, mixed with the alcohol, had your mind reeling. You felt like you were right back in that room, helpless against an assault on your body. To have his nasty words spat at you just made everything worse. 

Sam picked you up and began carrying you towards the exit of the bar. You could hear the crowd’s collective gasps echoing repeatedly around you. You opened your eyes in time to watch Dean land one last solid punch to the creep’s face, releasing his hold on him and letting the guy slump to the floor. Everyone was staring at the three of you as you all hustled out of the bar. You were completely mortified.

-

It didn’t take you long to arrive back home to the bunker. Dean muttered furiously under his breath while he sped the whole way home. Sam seethed in silence. You stared out the window through your tears, trying to feel numb. As soon as the Impala stopped, you stumbled out of the car and down the stairs into the bunker. You were crying and breathing heavily, too overwhelmed by all of your emotions. Sam followed you down the hall. He placed a hand on your shoulder to try and stop your pursuit to your room.

“Y/N—”

You shrank away from his touch and whirled around at him.

“Leave me alone!” you shouted at him with a desperate sob. Sam looked at you hurt. 

“Y/N, I’m just trying to—”

“I don’t care!” you cut him off with another cry. “I just want to be left alone!” You turned away from Sam’s incredibly hurt expression and stumbled into your room. 

You shut the door forcefully and pressed your back against it, sliding down until you were seated on the floor. You pulled your knees up towards you and sobbed into them. You felt awful for lashing out at Sam like that, but everything felt like too much right now. You were so angry and scared, and you were completely mortified. How could such a great night turn into such a disaster? You blamed yourself for being so stupid for thinking that anything could go right for you anymore. You thought you could attract someone and forget about your assault, and all you got was a horrible reminder of how damaged you were.

You eventually quieted your sobs and just sat on the cold floor. After a while you heard the boys go into each of their rooms and close their doors. You wiped at your eyes and drew your hands back to see the makeup smudged across your fingers. You pulled yourself up and quietly opened your door. You peered out to make sure the hall was empty before you stumbled over to the bathroom. You cringed at your reflection and tried to wash off as much makeup as you could. You pressed a towel against your face for a few moments. You felt so hollow and distraught; you just wanted to be completely numb from everything. You laid the towel down and wandered down the hall towards the kitchen instead of returning to your room. 

You walked into the kitchen towards the cabinets and rummaged through them until you found what you were looking for: alcohol. You pulled a half-full bottle of whiskey down and grabbed a glass before setting them down on the counter. You untwisted the cap and poured a generous amount into your empty glass. You picked it up and quickly swallowed it all. If you were going to try and reach a point where you could feel numb, you wanted to get there as soon as possible. You poured another healthy splash and swallowed it in one go again. After you poured your third glass you finally put the bottle down. You stared at the amber liquid swirling in your glass. It was swirling because you had started to sway a bit on your feet. The 90-proof liquor was quickly settling itself into your system. You were finding it hard to focus your attention on the glass in your hand or much of anything around you. You brought the glass to your mouth and accidently collide the rim of it into your teeth with a small clink before tossing the rest of the whiskey back. This time it was rough going down and you grimaced at the queasy feeling in your stomach. You tried to set the glass down on the counter, but it only caught the corner of it and fell. The glass shattered onto the floor loudly.

“Shit,” you mumbled under your breath. You barely registered the sound of the Winchesters’ bedroom doors opening. You heard some brief rumbling of male voices before just Sam came into view and stood in the doorway.

“Y/N?”

You stared down at the broken glass littered on the floor beside you for a few moments before you glanced up at him. The quick movement of your head made you dizzy, and you gripped the counter top with one hand while you tried to steady yourself. Sam stepped forward haltingly, a worried look starting to come over his face.

“Woah, what’s going on, Y/N?”

“I’m drinking, Sam,” you slurred a little. “What’s it look like?”

Sam’s gaze shifted from your swaying form to the now quarter-filled bottle of whiskey on the counter. His eyes widened and he quickly looked back to you.

“Jesus, Y/N, how much did you drink?”

“Not enough,” you mumbled sarcastically.

“Why are you drinking?” Sam asked as he approached you cautiously.

“Cause I don’t want to feel like this anymore.”

“Like what?”

“Like this!” you shouted. “I don’t want to feel like this anymore! I just want to forget everything that’s happened to me!” You started to cry as you continued to slur your words. Sam stopped a couple of feet away from you.

“It’s going to be okay,” he tried to assure you.

“NO! No, it’s NOT going to be okay, Sam,” you continued to shout and slur. “It’s never going to be fucking okay. He took EVERYTHING from me!” You began to cry harder. Sam looked at you heartbrokenly and tried to reach out and touch you. You recoiled away from him again.

“NO. Don’t touch me. No one’s ever gonna be able to touch me. I’m too damaged, too tainted,” you cried, starting to babble.

Sam continued to stare at you, full of concern. “What do you mean?”

“HE touched me, Sam, and no one is ever gonna touch me,” you whined softly. “I’m never gonna know what it’s like.”

“Like what’s like?” Sam asked, confusion causing his eyebrows to knit together. You just shook your head, tears rolling down your face. He tried to catch your gaze but you refused to look at him. “Y/N, please! Talk to me!”

“He TOUCHED me, Sam! He HURT me,” you shouted. “No one’s EVER touched me…and he just TOOK what he wanted from me,” you were sobbing uncontrollably now. “He just fucking took EVERYTHING from me. And now no one wants me anymore…”

Understanding bloomed on Sam’s face. “Y/N, are you a virgin?”

You didn’t answer. You just pressed your palms against your eyes and continued to cry. “I’m never gonna be fine…I’m never gonna be able to let anyone…and all I’ll know is what he did to me,” you whined high as you completely dissolved into your emotions. “No one’s gonna want me anymore cause I’m damaged.”

“No, Y/N, that’s not true.”

“Please, Sam…” you looked up at him through your tears, swaying on your feet, “God, please, don’t lie to me…” You shook your head, your heart aching inside your chest. Your roaming attention landed back on the bottle of whiskey on the counter beside you. Sam was quicker than you and grabbed it before you could. He placed it on top of the fridge and far enough back that you wouldn’t be able to reach it. Your anger flared and roiled around with the rest of your drunken emotions.

“Sam, give it back! Why can’t you just let me drink in peace?” You tried to shove at him, but it didn’t affect him one bit. His frustration was evident in the way that he glared down at you.

“I’m not going to stand here and watch you drink yourself to death!”

“Why do you CARE?” you shouted back at him. You tried to shove him again but he easily blocked you and held your arms firmly in his grasp.

“Would you LISTEN to me? I’m not lying to you,” Sam barked. You struggled against his hold, still drunkenly shaking your head and crying.

“NO, you are lying—” Sam released your arms and gripped your waist, bent over, and basically threw you over his shoulder. You pounded your fists against his back as he started to head back down the hallway.

“STOP IT! Put me DOWN!”

“I’m not lying to you,” Sam tried to continue. You ceased your struggles and just sobbed while he carted you back towards the bedrooms.

“Sam, please, don’t…”you begged. “I KNOW no one can want me…don’t LIE to me,” you practically screamed. 

“I’m NOT lying!” Sam stopped and abruptly dropped you back onto your feet. You were about to fall back against the wall, but Sam grabbed you by your forearms to hold you up. His hands moved up to cup your face in his hands, and he bent down and slammed his lips against yours.

You stood there shocked, still dizzy from your sudden return to your feet. Your eyes fluttered closed, slowly letting yourself relax into Sam’s firm kiss. As soon as he felt you relax he softened the kiss. He let his lips linger gently against yours. After a few more moments, he pulled back and looked down at your stunned face. His face shifted to a look of guilt.

“I-I’m sorry…I didn’t want this to happen like that,” he murmured quietly to you, still standing close to you and cradling your face gently in his warm palms. Sam’s face relaxed and a small smile teased itself from the corners of his mouth. “I’m not lying…because I want you.”

Your eyes welled up with tears as you tried to absorb what he was saying. You attempted a halfhearted shake of your head but Sam wouldn’t let you. He wiped away your tears gently with the pads of his thumbs, caressing your cheeks.

“I’m not lying…and I hope you’ll let me prove it.”


	13. Chapter 13

Your heart was pounding and your head was spinning as you stood in the hallway with Sam. You tried to focus on his face staring down at you earnestly, but your dizziness was consuming you as you began to sway noticeably on your feet. Sam’s hands shifted from cupping your face to gripping your shoulders to steady you.

“Easy there, Y/N. You alright?”

You tried to form words but your mouth felt numb. The niggling feeling in your stomach was quickly bubbling up and turning into something else, but you couldn’t quite figure it out in your drunken haze. You could feel your eyebrows scrunching together on your forehead as you shook your head at the giant man in front of you. Your movements only made you dizzier, and the odd sensation building up in your stomach finally registered in your brain.

“M’gonna be sick,” you slurred as you pulled away from Sam and stumbled towards what you hoped to be the bathroom. You were able to pinpoint the toilet through your spinning vision and tumble to your knees in front of it, just in time for you to lean over it and vomit violently into the basin. It felt like your entire body was convulsing as your stomach proceeded to empty itself of everything. You vaguely felt Sam’s large hands gathering your hair away from your face and back into one palm as he rubbed your back soothingly with the other. You gripped the toilet seat with your sweaty hands as you retched again. The heaving of your stomach was beginning to feel painful as your body continued to seize on your uncontrollable gagging. Your eyes watered as you coughed to clear the thick feeling in your throat. 

“M’sorry, Sam,” you mumbled, your words sounding loud in your ears as you kept your head leaning over the basin.

“Shhh, you’re alright,” Sam murmured as he continued to rub your back. Your body had stopped convulsing, but your dizziness still had you feeling like you were on a boat careening from side to side. Sam reached up and flushed the toilet for you.

“You think you’re done?” he asked you quietly. You hummed inarticulately in response, unable to bring yourself to pronounce actual words in your drunken exhaustion.

“Alright. I’m going to leave you right here while I get you some water, okay?”

You nodded and felt Sam release your hair, his warm hand disappearing from your back as he got up and left the bathroom. Your stomach felt calm, but your dizziness felt too strong from your barely upright position over the toilet. You leaned over and slumped to the floor on your right side. The cool tile felt wonderful on your flushed skin as you closed your eyes against the churning sensations swallowing you. You were too exhausted to react to the returning sound of footsteps behind you.

“Y/N?” Sam’s worried voice sounded above you. You hummed in response to let him know you were still conscious. 

“Can you sit up for me?”

You hummed again and didn’t attempt to move. You heard the clink from Sam setting down your waiting glass of water before you felt one of his hands worm its way under your shoulder to sit you up slightly. Your eyes slid reluctantly open as you watched Sam bring the full glass to your lips.

“Drink some of this for me.”

You sipped hesitantly on the water for a few moments before you turned your head away from it. Sam set it down and carefully gathered your pliant form into his strong, muscled arms. He rose back up to his full height and carried you off into one of the bedrooms. He placed you gently down on to the mattress and helped you sit upright. 

“Do you…uh…want me to help you change into something to sleep in?”

You rolled your head up to look in the general area of his face before nodding a bit disjointedly. Sam shuffled over to the dresser and began rummaging through it.

“Do you want a t-shirt and shorts?”

“M’hot,” you mumbled as you started to tug your top up your torso, “Jus’ a shirt.”

You heard Sam clear his throat nervously as he laid a folded shirt next to you on the bed. You had worked your top up and over most of your head before he reached up and helped you gently pull it off the rest of the way. You glanced down at yourself and realized you were sitting there in your strapless bra. You felt nervousness and embarrassment mingling with your drunkenness, but surprisingly you didn’t feel afraid. You looked up at Sam and smiled sheepishly up at his anxious expression.

“Shirt first?” you asked. Sam nodded and gave you a small nervous smile as he helped you to slip the oversized shirt over your head. Once the shirt was on, you reached back behind you to unhook your bra, falling over to the side in your dizziness. You struggled for a moment before you felt the small tension around your ribs release and the bra rested lightly against your chest. You sat up and pulled the bra from under your shirt before letting it drop on the floor. You looked down through your drunken haze at the excess fabric pooling around your hips for a moment in confusion before you rolled your head back to look up at Sam.

“Is this yours?”

“Ya,” he cleared his throat again, “Is… that okay?”

You nodded in response and began to look around and focus on the room you were in. It was Sam’s room. 

“Oh…we’re in your room,” you murmured. 

“Sorry, I just wanted to make sure I could keep an eye on you tonight after drinking that much and getting sick,” Sam mumbled his apology and explanation quickly. “I’m sorry, I should have asked you first.”

“No, s’okay. I’ll sleep w’you.” You began to use the toe of your one shoe to try and push off the heel of the other unsuccessfully. Sam quickly took note of your movements and knelt down to help you take of your wedge booties. He pulled your socks off your feet, and glanced nervously towards the legs of your pants before meeting your eyes again. 

“Uhh…pants?” he mumbled uncertainly. 

The awkwardness of the situation was slowly settling in for you. You were sitting on the edge of Sam’s bed, without a bra, leaning back on your arms while Sam was on his knees in front of you, poised apprehensively to help you remove your pants. He clearly didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. You stared at him for a while, your nervousness quickly becoming evident in your expression. Sam sat back on his feet to give you a little bit more room.

“We don’t have to take these off if you aren’t comfortable doing so.”

You thought about it for a moment, but you decided that you were too drunk, too tired, and too hot to keep your jeans on all night. You shook your head, causing another wave of dizziness to consume you. You ungracefully fell onto your back on the bed and began to fumble with the button on your jeans. Your numb fingers weren’t cooperating very well. You paused as you watched Sam slowly gather himself up off of the floor. He gazed down at you intently with his face flushed a deep red as he stepped hesitantly closer to you. He stood just in between your sprawled out legs hanging off the edge of his bed. He gradually brought his hand up to hover just above yours at the button of your jeans, pausing to look into your eyes for permission. Your heart was beating a mile a minute inside your chest as you gave him a small, shaky nod. Sam glanced down and gently brushed your hands away before he slowly brought his other hand up. His fingers met at the top of your jeans, barely brushing the soft skin of your stomach as he deliberately unbuttoned your jeans and gradually pulled down the zipper. He stilled his movements, one hand still holding the tiny brass zipper in between the tips of his long fingers as he raised his dark hazel eyes to meet yours again. Your cheeks flushed, your mouth parting slightly as you stared up at the tall, gorgeous man standing in between your legs. Through your drunken haze you felt a strange need curling low in your belly. The tension between you two was practically buzzing in the air…and just like that, Sam blinked and pulled his hands back, snapping you two out of whatever was going on. 

You watched him swallow nervously before gently gripping the fabric of your jeans around your knees. You shakily slipped your thumbs under the waistband of your jeans and began to push them down and off of your hips, making sure your underwear wasn’t going with them. Sam pulled your jeans slowly off of your legs before folding them up and dropping them on the floor with the rest of your clothes. His eyes briefly skittered along your t-shirt and panty-clad form laid out on his bed before meeting your gaze again.

“I’m, uh,” he closed his eyes and subtly shook his head before opening them and looking down at you again, “I’m going to go grab your water.” He stepped backwards away from you a few paces before turning around and heading back towards the bathroom.

You slowly released the breath you didn’t even realize you were holding. You rolled over onto your stomach and clumsily crawled up towards the pillows at the top of the bed. As soon as you reached them, you collapsed face first into one of the pillows and closed your eyes against the overwhelming dizziness and exhaustion surrounding you. You inhaled Sam’s scent from the pillow as you turned over on to your side. Sleep was pulling you under very quickly. The last thing you felt was the dip of the other side of the mattress and the feeling of Sam’s arms pulling your body back against his warm, solid form.

-

The pain throbbing inside your skull and the uneasiness of your stomach were what woke you in the morning. You groaned as you shifted around slightly. You quickly stilled and opened your eyes when you realized there was still a very large man with his arms wrapped snuggly around you and pressed against your back. You could feel his soft, warm breath tickling the hairs by your ear as he continued to sleep unperturbed. As much as you wanted to enjoy your current situation, your skull-splitting hangover was not going to let you remain here without any pain meds. You tried to worm your way out of Sam’s embrace without disturbing him, but you could barely move with the way his muscled arms were locked around you. You sighed.

“Sam,” you whispered, trying to wake him as gently as possible. He didn’t even stir. You began to rub his arm, feeling his soft, warm skin below your palm.

“Sam,” you whispered a little louder. He stirred a little but didn’t wake. Instead, he reflexively pulled you tighter against him and nuzzled his face against your neck. His parted lips and warm breath ghosted across your skin as he resettled his head; you blushed furiously at the accidental intimacy. You took a deep breath to try and calm the butterflies fluttering in your stomach, which were definitely not helping the uneasiness that was already settled there. You rubbed his arm a bit more firmly, gently shaking him to wake him up.

“Sam,” you called quietly, his name sounding out in your normal decibel. He finally stirred more fully, hugging you against him as you felt his soft, deep groan resonating in his chest and vibrating against your back.

“Hmm?” he hummed sleepily against your neck. You couldn’t help but smile.

“I need you to pause on the cuddling and let me up for a moment,” you teased softly. His arms loosened their hold around you.

“Sorry,” he murmured. 

“It’s okay,” you sat up slowly and turned to look at Sam’s sleepy form. “Where do you keep your pain meds?”

“In the bathroom cabinet,” Sam opened his eyes, “Is everything okay?” He started to shift around to sit up, but you placed your hand gently on his shoulder to still him.

“Shhh, everything is fine. My head just feels like it’s going to explode. I’ll be right back.”

Sam settled back down against the pillows as you stood up. Remembering that you didn’t have pants on, you glanced down and took in the length of Sam’s shirt on you. The hem barely skirted across your upper thighs, but it at least covered your underwear. You padded quietly out the door and down the hall into the bathroom. You opened up the cabinet and plucked out a medium-sized bottle of ibuprofen. You quickly unscrewed the cap and shook out two rust-colored pills, wincing slightly at the sound of the numerous pills shifting and tapping against the plastic container. You placed the bottle back inside the cabinet and popped the pills into your mouth, washing them down with a couple gulps of water from the faucet. You decided to brush your teeth quickly to get rid of the sour taste in your mouth from vomiting last night. You spat out the toothpaste, rinsed your mouth with water, and wiped your wet hands onto your shirt before you padded back into Sam’s room. His hazel eyes peeked open when you crawled back into the bed. He wordlessly lifted his arm up for you to cuddle with him. You settled back down beside him and scooted closer so your fronts were pressed up against each other, your head tucked below his chin. You breathed in his comforting scent and relished his warmth as he gathered you back against him with his strong arms.

“How are you feeling this morning?” Sam murmured into your hair.

“Awful,” you groaned. You felt Sam chuckle against you.

“I guess that means you won’t try and down a bottle of whiskey again,” he teased. You could feel him smiling against the top of your head. You poked him in the ribs as retaliation, making him squirm against you. “Okay! Okay!” he laughed. You smiled in triumph.

You both laid there in silence for several minutes, trying to drift back off to sleep. Your slight shifting against each other let you both know that neither of you were having success, though. Sam’s words from last night were still buzzing around in your mind. 

“Sam?” you whispered. He hummed quietly, waiting for you to continue. 

“Did…did you mean it?”

Sam leaned away from you slightly, and you hesitantly looked up at him to see him gazing down at you with a small, dimpled smile. He brought his one hand up to gently cup the side of your face and rubbed the pad of his thumb along your cheek in his familiar sweet gesture.

“Yes,” he murmured low in his chest, his eyes flicking down to your mouth and back up to your eyes. 

Your heart beat nervously inside your chest as you let your own gaze slip down to his parted lips. Sam leaned his head closer, letting his lips hover just above yours for a moment before he pressed his lips against yours in a soft kiss. Your mouths continued to meld together gently as you felt Sam’s hand slip back into your hair, and he began to press his mouth more firmly against yours. Your hands clutched at the thin t-shirt stretched tightly across his chest as you returned his slowly growing fervor. His lips parted against yours, and you felt the tip of his tongue glide gently across your bottom lip. You opened your mouth a bit to let Sam slip his tongue inside your mouth, shivering at the sound of his satisfied sigh as his tongue stroked against your own. His mouth was so soft, warm and wet as he continued to languidly kiss you. Your breathing was starting to quicken between each pull of his lips and swipe of his tongue. Sam’s one hand remained entwined in your hair while his other arm slid under you and pressed your body tighter against his. Your hands slipped up the taught muscles of his chest to wrap your arms around his neck and press your chest more firmly against his. You heard and felt his hum of approval at your actions as he deepened the kiss. You felt your nipples begin to harden against his chest as you felt that strange heat coiling tightly in your lower belly. You unconsciously tried to press your hips against Sam as a breathy moan escaped between your lips.

Sam stilled. He stopped pressing you so tightly against his body but left his hand splayed across your back. He untangled his fingers from your hair and slid his hand back to gently rest his fingertips against your cheek. He let the kiss slow until he was pressing soft little kisses against your parted lips, your warm breath mingling audibly with his own. You lazily opened your eyes to gaze into Sam’s hazel ones. His looked a little unsure until he noticed the small smile peeking at the corners of your mouth. He relaxed a bit more and let his own grin spread leisurely across his face. As you lazed in Sam’s arms and let yourself quietly admire his handsome features, a question began to form in the back of your mind. You looked up into his eyes a bit more earnestly. 

“So…what does this mean?” you whispered softly to him. As soon as the words left your mouth, your insecurities began to creep back into your mind. You watched nervously as Sam remained silent for a few moments, gathering his thoughts. He smiled softly at you.

“It means whatever you want it to mean,” he murmured. Sam’s fingers glided gently across your cheek to tuck a lock of your hair behind your ear. “I want whatever you are comfortable with, okay?” He gazed down at you intently until you quietly nodded your head. He smiled, his dimples peeking out at you, before pulling you back to nestle into his body. 

You laid there with your head tucked under Sam’s chin and your body enveloped in his warmth. You pressed a feather soft kiss against the top of his chest and let your eyes close to drift back off to sleep.


	14. Chapter 14

You slowly awoke to the feeling of Sam grazing the tip of his nose against the side of your face and neck, barely touching your skin but enough to feel ticklish. 

“Y/N,” he whispered into your ear. Your eyes were still determinedly closed, but you could practically hear the grin across his face. He was teasing and tickling you on purpose in order to rouse you from your second round of sleep. You muffled a groan as you tried to shift away from him. His arms prevented you from succeeding. He pulled you tighter and squished you back against him as he continued to trace small lines across your neck and along your ear with his nose. You could feel his warm breath ghosting against your already sensitive skin, and you squirmed a little in his hold.

“Sam…” you whined. You felt and heard him chuckle as he pressed a gentle kiss against your neck. 

“Come on, Y/N. It’s noon. We should get out of bed,” Sam mouthed against your neck, making your skin flush and break out in goosebumps at his pleasurably light touches. You felt him smile against your skin in amusement at your body’s reaction to him. He pressed one quick kiss against the side of your face before releasing his hold on you and sitting up. He soothingly rubbed your back as he tried to coax you up and out of bed slowly. After letting yourself reorient to your upright position, you placed your feet back on the floor and rose up alongside Sam. It was quite comical how much he seemed to tower over you. He gently eased you out of his room and down the hall towards the bathroom.

“You shower first. I’ll grab one after you.”

Sam smiled down at you before turning around and walking down the hall towards the kitchen. You entered the bathroom and closed the door gently behind you. Silently you slipped out of Sam’s shirt and your panties. You left them pooled on the floor as you walked across the cool tile to the shower and turned the knob to start the water. You stepped into the shower and stood directly under the shower head to let the hot water stream down and over your naked skin in rivulets. Your mind began to wander as your body relaxed. 

So much had happened within the last twenty-four hours: Sam told you they killed the demon responsible for your kidnapping; Dean asked you to stay with them in the bunker; you all tried to have a normal night out; you were assaulted again; you drunkenly screamed and confessed things to Sam; Sam confessed that he wanted you; you spent the night with him and kissed him thoroughly in the morning. Your head was practically spinning from all these major developments. As upsetting as some of last night’s events were, they ultimately led to you and Sam starting…something. You were afraid to label it a relationship, but it was clearly something more than friendship. You wanted him, too. You desired him, but you were a little afraid of what that would lead to. As that creepy asshole had reminded you, your assault left you with a lot of physical triggers. When he tried to touch you between your legs, you immediately flashed back to your assault. Yes, you knew the touch was unsolicited, but any thought of you experiencing that pain again made you terrified. You weren’t sure you would be able to handle going through with it again…even if it was Sam doing the touching. That was why you felt nervous and a little afraid at the prospect of you and Sam getting physically involved. What if he wouldn’t want you anymore once he realized you couldn’t move past your fears and let him touch you? You knew Sam didn’t just want sex from you, but your anxiety was clawing at your mind.

Tears pricked at the corner of your eyes, and you hastily wiped them away. You were going to tuck those thoughts away for now and focus on the task at hand; after standing so long under the water and letting the wet heat soak into your muscles, your skin was beginning to feel prune-y. You quickly lathered up your body with soap and massaged some shampoo into your scalp. You rinsed all of the suds from your body, stepped out of the shower, and quickly toweled off. You wrapped the towel around yourself and padded quietly back into your room to pull on some clean clothes.

Fully dressed, you walked down the hall to the kitchen and found Dean leaning against the counter while Sam sat in one of the chairs. Sam was in the middle of saying something to Dean when you entered the room. He closed his mouth abruptly and they both turned to look at you. You hesitated awkwardly in the doorway.

“Um, the shower is free…” you mumbled unsurely, your eyes darting back and forth between the brothers. Sam smiled and stood up to walk over to you. 

“Thanks,” he murmured. Sam paused next to you to rub your arm affectionately before stepping past you and heading down the hall. You turned back to see Dean watching you quietly.

“Hey,” you smiled awkwardly at Dean. A slight smirk formed on his mouth.

“Morning, killer,” he teased, giving you a pointed look. You cringed, knowing he was referring to your behavior last night.

“I’m really sorry, Dean. I was out of control last night. I-I’ll replace that glass.”

Dean’s expression shifted to a much more serious look, and he shook his head at you. Your stomach dropped, fearing the worst.

“I-If you don’t want me to stay here anymore, I get it…”

“No!” Dean quickly interjected, his green eyes growing wide. “I could give two shits about the way you acted last night.”

Your face fell at his words, and Dean quickly realized his mistake. He closed his eyes and pinched the brim of his nose as he sighed.

“I didn’t mean it that way,” he began, looking back over at you still standing awkwardly in the doorway. Dean motioned with his head for you to take a seat by him. You slowly padded over to the table and sat down in one of the chairs, facing where Dean remained leaning on the counter.

“Y/N, I don’t care that you made a scene last night. I care about what pushed you to that point.” Dean pushed himself away from the counter and pulled a chair over to yours to sit down directly beside you.

You couldn’t meet his gaze. Your emotions were starting to bubble back to the surface and you didn’t want to start crying in front of Dean. You stared down at your bare feet curling onto each other, casually toeing at the floor. Your hands were clutched tightly in your lap as you dug your sharp thumbnail into your skin to distract you from your overwhelming emotions. Dean caught your action and calmly placed his large, rough hand over yours to stop you.

“Y/N,” he spoke quietly. You hesitated in looking up into his worried gaze, already feeling the tears brimming in your eyes. Dean looked at you sadly.

“Y/N, you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. But…you can’t drink it away. Trust me, I’ve tried plenty of times,” Dean huffed quietly. You gave him a small, wobbly smile as you tried to keep your tears in check. He cleared his throat before continuing.

“Sam and I, we both care about you. Well,” he paused, smirking at you knowingly, “Sammy obviously cares about you in a different way than I do.”

You blushed at his insinuation. So either he heard everything that was said last night, or he already sensed something was brewing between you and his brother. You had a feeling it might have been both.

“But that’s not my point,” Dean continued. “My point is you can talk to either of us if you need or want to, okay? We’re here for you, always.” He gave you a small grin and squeezed your hands inside of his larger one in a reassuring manner.

You nodded slowly and smiled up at Dean through your tears.

-

Things began to settle into a fairly normal routine. Sam was taking his time with walking you through all of the different kinds of reading material and sources located throughout the library. Often he would bring you over to a smaller section within the stacks to show you how different subjects were clustered together. You would stand facing the books in question while Sam stood behind you and pointed over your shoulder to draw your attention to which book he was talking about. The rows between the stacks were already pretty cozy, and sharing the smaller space with a giant man made it very convenient for Sam to press his body close behind yours. The first couple of times this happened you weren’t sure if Sam was standing so close to you on purpose; when he started to murmur directly into your ear, place his hand gently on your waist, and nuzzle lightly against the side of your neck and face as he would listen to your questions, then you knew he was doing it on purpose. You would blush furiously and feel the butterflies rioting in your stomach, but Sam never made you uncomfortable. He would always let you pull away if you wanted to, and he never made it feel like you were rejecting him. He valued your comfort, and you valued his affection. 

When Dean started looking for another case, Sam sat next to you and helped you with searching through your sources to find useful information to aid them on the hunt. Neither of the brothers was in a rush to actually go out and pursue a case. You sensed they wanted to stick around and make sure you were okay physically and emotionally, and they wanted to wait until you could handle the research on your own. Sam happily took this free time away from hunting to nurture whatever was going on between the two of you. Whenever it was just the two of you hanging out somewhere in the bunker, Sam would always be close to you, not in an overbearing way but enough for the two of you to enjoy your physical proximity. Occasionally, you would laugh and smile together about something and your eyes would meet. Sam’s gaze would always drift down to your mouth, and he would lean in and steal a soft, chaste kiss from you. They were never rushed or forceful; they were always gentle and left you feeling warm. You were amazed at how much Sam’s mouth transfixed you; how you loved the way his warm, smooth lips would caress yours. 

That first night after your drunken sleepover with Sam, you retired to your own room to sleep. Clearly you and Sam enjoyed sleeping together and cuddling in the morning, but you didn’t want to assume it was alright for you to simply move right on into his room. Sam had walked you down to your room and kept you lingering outside as he leisurely kissed you goodnight. Before he let you go, he murmured to you with a cheeky, dimpled smile that it was alright for you to wake him or to come stay in his room if you wanted the company. You rolled your eyes playfully and said you knew you could before you kissed his cheek and closed your door gently behind you. 

You lied awake in bed for hours trying to fall asleep. You missed the feeling of Sam’s warm body curled around yours, and knowing that you had the offer open to join him was driving you crazy. You eventually gave up. You padded quietly out of your room and down to Sam’s before pausing briefly outside his door. You couldn’t hear anything, so you assumed he was asleep. You stood there for a few minutes, chewing on your bottom lip and debating on whether you would go into his room and crawl into bed with him. You finally gathered up enough courage to gradually turn the knob and carefully open his door. You peered into the darkness and could make out the outline of Sam’s burly form sprawled out under the covers. You closed the door quietly behind you and tiptoed over to the side of the bed. Gingerly picking up the edge of his comforter, you slowly slipped into his bed next to him. Sam stirred when you started to settle in against him. He realized it was you and eagerly pulled you tight up against him, humming in approval.

“M’glad you changed your mind,” he mumbled sleepily, pressing soft kisses against your face. You giggled softly, wiggling around in his arms a bit as you both got comfortable. You brushed Sam’s long brown locks out of his face before cradling his face in between your palms and leaning in to gently press your lips against his. He responded enthusiastically, pulling you close against him with one hand and burying the other into your hair. His mouth moved languorously against yours, his tongue peeking out to slide against your bottom lip and into your opening mouth. You both hummed contentedly as the kiss deepened. The feeling of Sam’s lips and tongue sliding against yours was intoxicating; you could kiss and taste his mouth all night. After several minutes, you both eventually backed down to pressing more chaste kisses against each other’s lips. You stopped and sleepily gazed and smiled at each other for a few more moments before you closed your eyes and drifted off to sleep.

In the morning you decided to spend your future nights with Sam in his bed. After all of the pleasurable kissing, comfortable sleeping, and warm cuddling, you just couldn’t say no anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, friends! Thank you - as always - for being such wonderful readers. I seriously never thought this little fic would garner so much love and support! Your kudos and comments continue to brighten my days. I'm sorry that it's taken me a little bit longer to post this new update! I just started my Master's program (which I'm super excited about!) and it's taking up a lot of my time. I'm not abandoning you or this fic, I promise! It just might take me a bit more time to update. I feel bad, especially cause we're finally heading into the juicy developments between Sam and the reader...but that's life. Y'all are so great! Keep being your wonderful selves. :)


	15. Chapter 15

Another couple of weeks went by, and the boys had finally found a case they couldn’t ignore. You were loathed to be alone in the bunker, but you understood that this was their job. They couldn’t just stay with you all the time. 

Sam was not so keen on leaving you behind either, but he and Dean both decided it was safer for you to stay at home. You were going to be able to put your researching skills to the test, as well. After all, being their contact and assistant at home base was what you all agreed for you to do for as long as you wanted to live with them in the bunker. If you were honest with yourself, you were a little excited to be doing something useful, especially if it was to help Sam and Dean out in the field. Yet all of your eagerness to be of some help did not overrule your dread of being away from Sam.

The two of you had settled into a happy and satisfying rhythm. Whether you had an official label or not, the two of you were, for all intents and purposes, “together.” Sam had started to show affection for you in front of his brother, coming up behind you and wrapping his arms around you or giving you a quick kiss whenever he was close enough to you. The first time Sam kissed you earnestly in front of his brother, you stiffened slightly and your eyes immediately darted over to Dean to gage his reaction. He just grinned and winked at you. You started to relax and calm your anxiety about PDA.

The brothers finished packing their bags. Dean gave you a quick hug and a kiss on the top of your head before he grabbed his and Sam’s bags to load them into the Impala, giving the two of you some alone time before they started down the road. Sam gathered you into his arms and pressed a long, lingering kiss to your lips. It felt so bittersweet. You did your best to put on a brave face for Sam as you said goodbye, but he could totally tell you were upset to let him leave you. 

“You’ve still got your phone we gave you, right? We’ll still talk,” he murmured to you, trying to reassure you. He was clearly trying to reassure himself, too. You nodded and told him to text you when he got the chance and to call you if they needed any information on whatever they were hunting. Sam graced you with one of his adorable dimpled smiles before giving you one more soothing kiss. As soon as the heavy door shut behind him, you felt your sadness and angst settling in your chest.

-

SAM: Hey! We’ve reached the town and got a room for the night. The motel isn’t completely shitty…

YOU: Oh good, I’m glad you got there safely. How ugly is the bedspread?

SAM: Very. At least it’s clean.

YOU: It’s the small things in life…

SAM: Haha ya… can I be honest with you?

YOU: Of course, what’s up?

SAM: I’m gonna miss having you next to me tonight.

YOU: Me too…hurry up and gank that SOB.

SAM: Yes, ma’am. :)

-

It was rough. The boys had been gone for an entire week. You were essentially living off of Sam’s occasional texts to help cut down on your loneliness. That first night alone you had tried to just sleep in your own room, but it felt odd to be sleeping in there when you had gotten use to sleeping with Sam in his room. You decided that you could at least sleep in a bed that still smelled like Sam even if you couldn’t have the real thing. 

When you finally heard the sound of the opening bunker door screeching and echoing down the hall, you immediately bolted to the front room. Sam barely had enough time to drop his bag before you were launching yourself up into his arms and wrapping your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist. You hugged him fiercely, pulling back so you could rain kisses down all over his smiling face. Sam laughed at your overly zealous welcome-home gesture. After chasing your mouth around for a few seconds as you continued to kiss all over his face, Sam was finally able to capture your lips with his. He kissed you fervently, trying to make up for your week spent apart with no physical contact. You eventually broke apart and he set you back down on your feet.

“Damn, why the hell don’t I get that kind of welcome back?” Dean teased, winking at you unashamedly. You beamed at the older Winchester and stepped over to him to give him a solid embrace. He chuckled as he hugged you back, pushing you away playfully back towards his brother after a bit. You gave him a cheeky smile in return before returning over to Sam, wrapping your arms around his hips and laying your head against his broad chest. Sam splayed one of his large hands against the middle of your back and combed your hair back and away from your face with the other. He grinned down at you as you peered up at him in pure adoration.

“You wanna watch a movie or something?” Sam asked you sweetly. You nodded enthusiastically. He disentangled himself from your embrace and began to pull you down the hall, lacing his fingers of his one hand with yours as he tugged you towards his room. You followed him without complaint. 

Sam led you into his room, quickly closing his door before gathering you to him and kissing you thoroughly again. You felt a sense of relief at having him back with you, relishing in the way his mouth melded against yours. Sam pulled away from you eventually and turned away to grab his laptop from on top of his dresser. He booted it up and shortly began searching for streamable movies. The two of you sprawled out onto his bed, both of you lying down on your backs with your heads in the pillows. You curled up against Sam’s side as he continued to search.

You eventually settled on a film and Sam reached over you to set the laptop down onto the bed on the other side of you. You let it load while you cuddled against each other. You pressed your face against his neck as he buried his nose in your hair at the top of your head. 

“I missed you so much,” you mumbled into the warm, smooth skin of Sam’s neck. 

“I missed you, too,” he whispered into your hair. “The movie’s ready. Here, turn over so you can see it.”

You reluctantly untangled your limbs from Sam’s and shifted so you were facing away from him and towards the laptop. Sam immediately pulled you back against him and curled his long figure around you. He reached over you and pressed play, and you both settled in against each other to watch.

The whole time you were more focused on the feeling of Sam’s warm, hard body pressed firmly against the back of your own rather than the film. You couldn’t see Sam’s face but you assumed he was paying attention to the movie. About half way through you began to feel Sam nuzzling his face against the side of your neck, causing goosebumps to rise up all over your skin. At first you just felt the tip of his nose as he slowly skimmed it down the curve of your neck, his warm breath fanning across your rapidly heating skin. Your breathing increased when you began to feel Sam softly dragging his parted lips along the same path up and down the curve of your neck. When he began to press his mouth more firmly against your neck you practically shivered. 

It was like nothing you’d ever felt. Sam’s hot, wet mouth was placing kisses all along the side of your neck, occasionally ghosting down to your shoulder as he tugged the neck of your shirt away gradually to revel more skin for his roaming lips. When you felt his tongue lick at your skin gently as he continued to mouth at your neck, you couldn’t help the tiny moan from escaping your throat. Sam’s breathing was starting to match your ragged pace; you could hear and feel him panting in between each of his kisses. Your heart was pounding in your chest as you let Sam continue his ministrations. His strong, muscled arms held you firmly back against his chest as he practically devoured the skin of your neck. He began to suck gently against your flushed skin, occasionally nipping lightly as he dragged his mouth back and forth across your neck. You were completely lost at all the pleasurable sensations Sam was raining down on your body; you clenched your thighs together as a dull ache began to manifest at your center. Breathy little moans kept escaping between your lips as you were no longer able to keep still under Sam’s lavishing. Your hips began to grind back against Sam’s body of their own volition. You felt his low groan vibrate against your back and the skin of your neck, causing you to let out a particularly drawn out moan of your own.

Sam began to slow his incessant mouthing along your neck, gentling down to simply pressing his parted lips against every inch of skin his mouth was able to reach. The two of you stayed there pressed together, breathing heavily against each other as you vaguely registered the ending credits scrolling up the laptop’s screen. You lifted an arm and drowsily batted the lid close as you continued to lay there in Sam’s arms, trying to calm your racing heartbeat.

Sam shifted up onto his arm and reached over your pliant body to pick up his laptop from the edge of the bed and set it on his bedside table. As he repositioned himself back behind you, he carefully pressed your shoulder down towards him and rolled you onto your back. He leaned over you for a few moments, enough to place soft, sweet kisses against your lips before he settled down against you in his bed. You let your head roll to the side on the pillow to face Sam as he slung an arm over your waist and curled against you. Both of you soon drifted off to sleep.

-

You woke up in the middle of the night, feeling very disoriented and a little confused as to what could have woken you from your comfortable sleep. You had turned onto your side and Sam had curled up around you from behind at some point during the night. Your body was tucked firmly against his own as you were both enveloped under his comforter. You merely meant to shift around inside Sam’s tight embrace and drift back off to sleep, but then you froze.

Something long and hard was pressing incessantly between the round globes of your ass. 

Sam had an erection.

Your heart felt like it was seizing in your chest as your fear and anxiety steadily increased and brought you completely awake. You wanted to try and reason with your mind that this was Sam, but the longer you laid there feeling his hard-on press into you the more your anxiety fogged your brain. Sam’s warm body wrapped tightly around you was no longer comforting; it only made you feel trapped. Your heart was beating painfully in your chest, your breathing became irregular as you tried and failed to keep your panic at bay.

You didn’t know what to do. You desperately wanted to escape from Sam’s hold on you, but you were absolutely terrified of waking him up. You knew deep down that Sam would never hurt you, but your panic-filled mind left no room for reason. You whined softly to yourself, tears slipping down your face as your mental battle only served to fuel your fear. Your whole body felt like it was seizing up and trembling. It was all becoming too much; you couldn’t stay there anymore.

“Sam,” you whined, trying to worm your way out from his slumbering grip. Sam stirred, unknowingly pressing his erection against you more firmly for a brief moment, but his hold on you never slackened. It was enough to kick in your fight-or-flight instincts.

“SAM,” you cried, struggling against his arms still wound tightly around you. Sam startled awake violently, trying to lean up on one shoulder while still holding you against him protectively.

“Wha—?” 

“Please,” you sobbed and begged as you continued to shove away at his arms around you, quickly dissolving into hysterics.

“Y/N? Why—”

“LET ME GO.”

Sam suddenly released you and you immediately tried to scramble away from his body. Your abrupt retreat away from him made you first lean back against his body in order to propel your own body forward and off of the bed. It was enough sudden, unexpected body contact that Sam finally realized his uncontrolled hard-on had been trapped between your bodies. It all clicked, as he watched you stumble away from him.

“Shit,” Sam cursed under his breath. 

You were already out the door.

You careened down the hall towards the bathroom on instinct. You were nearly tripping over your feet in your urgency to get a barrier between yourself and Sam. You shoved the bathroom door shut behind you and pressed your back against it. You slipped painfully down onto the tile floor, desperately trying to reign in your panic with something solid behind your back. 

Crying freely, you gripped your head with your sweaty palms and dug your fingers back into your hair. Your anxiety was still overwhelming you, but after a minute you began to feel it slowly ebb away from your body. Your fear was leaving, but guilt was quickly replacing it.

It felt like your mind was screaming at you. WHY DID YOU DO THAT? Why did you react like that to SAM? He is LITERALLY the one person you care about most in your life—your heart clenched painfully in your chest at the thought, and you choked back another sob—and you acted like he was going to attack you. Like he was going to assault you. Rape you. You knew Sam would NEVER hurt you like that. EVER. And yet…you still fell into your fear, and it was all because of those mental and emotional wounds still festering inside you from your assault.

You raged at yourself internally, hot tears coursing down your flushed face. Why can’t you just get over it? Why does it have to keep ruining your life? And not only that, it was going to start ruining other people’s lives. You could not do that to Sam. He deserved so much more…someone who wasn’t damaged like you.

Guilt had fully nestled itself in your mind. You were starting to convince yourself that you had to end your involvement with Sam. As your freak-out painfully demonstrated, you were incapable of entering a sexual and intimate relationship with Sam, or probably anyone really, even if you wanted to. You have to deal with that on your own; Sam does not need to be dragged down in your mess.

A soft tapping on the door startled you back into the present.

“Y/N?”

You tried to take in a quiet, deep breath to calm yourself, but it was nothing more than a heartbreakingly audible gasp. Sam must have heard it.

“Y/N, please…” Sam’s voice sounded pained and distraught as it filtered through the door and down to your huddled form on the floor. “Please, I didn’t mean to have…that…happen. Please, I swear…I swear I would NEVER do anything you didn’t want. Please…please, just open the door.”

You honestly wanted to die. The sound of distress and hurt ringing through his voice made you wish you had never made it out of that room…you wish it all would have just ended there so you wouldn’t be hurting anyone like you were now. You shifted forward onto your knees and pushed yourself up onto your feet. You scrubbed furiously at your face to try and rid yourself of any traces of tears or snot that might have still been running down your face. You turned around and gingerly opened the bathroom door.

Sam was standing there, bracing his tensed arms against the wooden doorframe. He dropped them back to his sides and took a step back, and you watched him as he looked down at you with such regret in his puppy-dog eyes. Sam let out a heavy, shaky sigh.

“Y/N, I…” he shook his head, sadness and unease pouring off of him. “Are you okay?”

“Sam…” you inhaled on a couple of tiny, tearful gasps, “I am s-so sorr—”

“No,” he cut you off quickly, “If anyone should be sorry, it’s me. I swear I didn’t mean to do that. I’m about ready to shoot myself for having done that to you…”

You shook your head at him. “Sam, no, I…I know you didn’t mean to do that on purpose. I know, but…I can’t…” you felt yourself tearing up. “I can’t do that—”

“I know you can’t, I know you’re not ready…o-or may never even want to do anything like that. I wasn’t trying to make you feel like you needed to do anything with me. Just because…that…happens doesn’t mean you have to do anything about it.”

“It…it’s not that I wouldn’t want to…it’s that I can’t,” you tried to explain, but Sam just looked confused. You weren’t sure how to explain all of the conflicting feelings swimming in your brain.

“If there is anyone on this earth that I would consider allowing them to touch my body…it would be you, Sam…b-but I can’t let anyone touch me. The fear…it’s engrained in me,” you started to sob, “a-and I don’t know how I’ll ever get over it. I’m never going to be able to let someone touch me…I don’t know h-how to not be afraid of it.”

It was clearly upsetting Sam to see you cry, but he was hesitant to approach you. He didn’t seem to know if you’d want him to try and comfort you physically. You weren’t sure what you wanted either. It started to sink in that you practically just admitted to Sam that you would want to have sex with him if you could. You both remained silent for a few moments, but Sam looked like he was thinking to himself and trying to find the right thing to say.

“Y/N…if you would ever want me, to trust me with your body…I would worship every inch of you…” He paused to gage your reaction. “If you wanted me, we would go as slow as you wanted and only do what you were comfortable with.”

Your cheeks felt like they were on fire, and you couldn’t deny that you felt a spark of desire deep in your belly at Sam’s innuendo. He looked slightly relieved that you didn’t shrink away at his words.

“But,” he continued, “If that’s not what you want, then that’s perfectly okay. I want you in every way imaginable…but I would be fine if you never wanted to do anything sexual with me. However…” he gave you a tentative smile, “I can’t control my body while I’m asleep. I can try my best to…calm my body’s reactions to you… while I’m relatively conscious. I’d be lying to you if I said I didn’t desire you, and clearly our activities earlier tonight got me a bit riled up. Even if this happened again, please trust me and know I would never pressure you or force you into doing something you didn’t want.”

Sam paused, his smile fading quickly into a disheartened expression. “Y/N, I don’t ever want to make you feel uncomfortable. If…if you can’t or don’t want to sleep with me anymore because of any of this, I understand. If you want me to…leave you alone…I will.”

You stood there and stared quietly up at this man who was practically pouring his heart out to you. He really cared. He really wanted to make sure you were alright. You wondered to yourself how you ever got so lucky to have found a man who was willing and wanted to be so careful and so patient with you. Your heart felt like it was going to rip in two at his somber words that he would leave you be, despite the fact that he clearly didn’t want to do that. 

And suddenly, you knew.

“I don’t want to be alone,” you whispered. “I want to be with you.”

You stepped forward quickly into Sam’s body and let him wrap his arms firmly around you. You pressed your face against his chest, your tears dampening his thin cotton shirt as you inhaled his comforting scent. He was so warm. He held you like that in the hallway for a long time. Sam eventually murmured into your hair.

“Do you want to go back to bed?”

You nodded yes.


	16. Chapter 16

Sam was being careful with you. Like…VERY…careful. 

It was a little over a week since your meltdown from Sam’s impromptu hard-on. After that emotional night, Sam tried to keep your physical interactions on the lighter end. He still would kiss you any chance he got, but he kept it sweet and innocent. Not that you were complaining… Sam was still very enthusiastic and happy to kiss you, but sometimes you caught yourself wanting more. You missed the way he would slip his tongue into your mouth to deepen the kiss, or when he would mouth hotly down the curve of your neck. You were craving those touches that would start a dull ache between your legs…you blushed at the thought.

You still slept every night with Sam in his bed. He made you feel so warm and safe, and you absolutely adored waking up next to that beautiful sleepy man. And that bedhead…Sam never failed to wake up with his long, brown locks tousled in such a way that looked like he had been up all night wrestling in the sheets with you. Much to your chagrin, that was not quite the case. You knew Sam was only trying to make sure he didn’t make you uncomfortable, but you’d be lying if you said you weren’t beginning to feel a little annoyed at his lack of stronger physical affection towards you.

One night you finally worked up the courage to try and initiate the intimacy with Sam. The two of you were settling in for the night. Sam was clad in one of his thin white t-shirts and a pair of boxers; you were wearing one of Sam’s old cotton shirts—practically a dress on you—over just your underwear. You got under the covers first and stretched out on your side facing Sam’s direction. Sam lifted the edge of his comforter up and slid in next to you, quietly pulling you towards him. He brushed the hair gently away from your face and cupped your cheek before bringing his mouth to yours, slowly pressing a soft kiss to your lips. You kissed him back, your lips brushing lazily together. One of your hands snaked its way up Sam’s broad chest and to the back of his neck. You tangled your fingers into his hair and held him there as you continued to kiss each other. 

Your heart felt like it was going to burst through your chest at the sudden nervousness flitting through you. Before you could change your mind, you hesitantly opened your mouth a bit more and slipped your tongue out just enough to slide it against Sam’s bottom lip. A small surprised sound emitted from the back of his throat at your forwardness. After a brief moment, Sam slowly opened his mouth against yours and granted you access. You moaned softly as he let you slip your tongue into his mouth. Sam’s fingers threaded into your hair and he pulled you closer to him, your kisses growing more heated by the minute. You pressed your body against the length of Sam’s, unconsciously rocking your hips gently against his.

Sam, however, definitely took note. He began to lean slightly back and away from your body as he tried to wind the kiss down. You registered in the back of your mind that Sam was trying to bring your fervent kissing back to something more innocent, but you had other plans.

As Sam started to roll gradually away from you, you followed his movements until he was on his back and your upper body was leaning over him. You felt Sam’s quiet groan rumbling against your chest as he couldn’t help himself from wrapping his strong arms around your middle and smoothing his large hands up your back as you persisted in meeting his soft lips. You decided to take the opportunity of venturing slowly away from his mouth to explore the other expanses of skin within reach of your mouth. You started to kiss the corner of his mouth, feeling his warm breath against your cheek as you continued to move your lips along his chiseled jawline. Only the tiniest hint of stubble rasped against your parted lips as you mouthed along his jaw. Sam’s quickened breathing sounded harsh in your ear. Your mouth dipped under his chin as you slowly but surely made your way down along the curve of his neck. His skin was hot underneath your mouth, and you couldn’t help but lick at the tiny bead of sweat rolling down the side of his neck. That made Sam practically squirm underneath you as you heard him softly moan by your ear. 

“Y/N…” his voice came out a bit hoarse. You hummed quietly in response as you kissed your way back up towards his mouth. You were just about to reach his lips when his hands came up to still your progression.

“Wait,” he whispered. You looked into his darkened eyes with confusion.

“What’s wrong?” you tried and failed to keep the hurt from mingling with your words. Guilt crept into Sam’s expression at hearing it.

“Nothing,” he said quickly, “I just…” he trailed off, clearly unsure of how to say what he wanted to say to you.

“Sam… Why won’t you kiss me like before? Do…,” you swallowed nervously, “Do you not want to anymore?” It hurt to say it out loud, and by Sam’s expression it hurt him to hear you say it.

“No, I do!” Sam cupped your cheek and brought your head down to rest your forehead against his, trying to reassure you. He sighed with a sad half-smile.

“It…it’s not that I don’t want to. GOD, do I want to…” he pressed a quick, firm kiss against your lips before pulling back again. “It’s just that…I can’t keep myself from getting…too excited if I do, if you know what I mean.” Sam gave you a sheepish grin.

You huffed out a short laugh, relieved by his confession. Sam seemed to relax a bit, too.

“Sam…” you sighed, “I know you’re just trying to protect me from…well, me.” Sam frowned at your statement. You ignored his disagreement and continued, brushing his hair tenderly from his face. “But…I want you to. I want you to kiss me like you did…and to touch me,” you whispered. You leaned down and kissed him softly. Sam sighed against your lips.

“I just don’t want you to be uncomfortable,” he whispered back, peering anxiously up into your eyes. You stared down at him and thought for a few minutes.

“Can we make a deal?” you asked softly. Sam smirked at you.

“I’ve learned not to make deals lightly,” he teased halfheartedly. You rolled your eyes at him and smiled before you continued your request.

“Will…will you let me make the call as to what I am and am not ready for? And when things…go wrong…,” you swallowed at the rising emotions inside you, “…we’ll figure out what to do, together?”

Sam looked up at you with concern, but you persisted in getting everything you wanted to say out in the open.

“That night…it wasn’t the fact that you, uh, ‘got excited,’ that freaked me out. It was the whole situation of having been startled awake and being held down against it... It was too much like…before.” You squeezed your eyes shut against the memories of your assault threatening to overtake you. You took a few deep breaths to calm yourself before you opened them again and stared intently into Sam’s eyes.

“Sam… I trust you. I know that you would never do anything that I didn’t want. And I know that you would stop the minute I asked you to, no matter what. So please…believe me and trust me to tell you when I’m not ready for something. Don’t take that away from me.”

Sam closed his eyes for a few moments before he nodded slowly. When he opened his eyes again, his expression was filled with guilt and regret. 

“I’m so sorry…”

“Shhh…” you interrupted his apology. You cupped his face between your palms and kissed him firmly. Sam held your body tightly against his own, kissing you back earnestly. This kiss was different than the others you had previously shared; it was full of emotions and unspoken promises. You were practically clinging to each other in your desperation to convey to the other your passion and sincerity. You pulled back just enough to whisper fervently against Sam’s lips.

“Please, don’t stop…”

Sam groaned softly at your breathy plea and began to kiss you more hungrily. Within a few seconds he had managed to roll you both over effortlessly until you were laid out on your back below him. His hips were next to yours as he leaned over you with his massive upper body, bracing himself up above you with his forearms as he threaded his fingers into your hair. The air between you felt like it was thinning, your breathing coming in mutually audible gasps. Sam eventually made his way from your mouth down along your neck. Tiny quiet moans of pleasure escaped between your kiss-swollen lips as Sam mouthed hot and hungrily against your skin. You let out a particularly loud gasp when you felt Sam graze his teeth against your pulse point, nipping and sucking lightly until you were sure a mark was formed. You moaned again as Sam’s mouth traveled to the other side of your neck and back up along your jaw to your ear. He nipped playfully at your earlobe and chuckled quietly at the little gasp of surprise you made at his action. You both began to slow down after that, Sam pressing sweet kisses across your cheeks, eyes, and nose as you calmed your racing hearts. You raised your face up to catch his lips briefly with your own for one last, searing kiss. When you broke apart, Sam pressed his forehead against yours and squeezed his eyes shut.

“Umm…” Sam swallowed nervously before he continued to speak. “So…what do you want to do if I’ve, uh…gotten excited?”

You watched Sam peek one eye open at you uncertainly, and you couldn’t help yourself from dissolving into a small fit of giggles. Sam’s cheeks flushed in embarrassment as he frowned at your abrupt laughter at his uncomfortable predicament. You bit your lip and tried to stifle your giggling.

“Aw, I’m sorry, Sam. Your expression was just too damn cute,” you chuckled again before calming down. Sam unsuccessfully tried to hide his smile. He looked relieved that you didn’t seem uncomfortable from his admission. 

Now that you were quiet, you tried to think of how you wanted to deal with Sam’s “excitement.”

“Well…maybe you could be the little spoon?”

Sam stared down at you in confusion. You sighed and smiled.

“I still want to cuddle with you while we try and fall asleep, but I don’t necessarily want you poking at me,” you giggled at your choice of words. Sam rolled his eyes and shook his head with a smirk. “So…” you continued, “instead of you being the big spoon and cuddling me from behind, how about I cuddle you instead? At least until you’ve calmed down…” you smirked with a wink at Sam. 

Sam chuckled and slowly turned around until his back was to you. You scooted closer to him and snuggled yourself right up against him. You pressed your face between his shoulder blades and rubbed at the back of his shoulders soothingly as the two of you settled in to try and finally get some sleep. You heard and felt Sam’s low hum of approval. You let one of your arms drift down and around his waist as you pressed your chest firmly against his broad back, sighing contentedly at the feeling of Sam’s warm body and the hard plains of his abs under your splayed-out hand.

“Y/N…you’re not making this easy,” Sam groaned playfully.

“Sorry…” You smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took me longer to post this update. (And I feel like it ended up being more filler-like than I wanted.) Battling a bit of writer's block is even more of a pain when you're already on a tight schedule. I know where I want this story to go...I was just having a hard time figuring out the little scenes that needed to happen to get it there. More serious developments between Sam and the Reader are on the way!! Thanks for being patient with me. <3


	17. Chapter 17

The boys decided to take a few more days off before searching out another case. Dean took his baby out for a spin one day and left you and Sam together in the bunker. He returned around dinner time, hauling in a case of beer with two pizza boxes stacked on top of it. You excitedly gathered around one of the big library tables where Dean was setting down his spoils. 

“I thought we could hang out tonight. You know, drink some beer, eat some pizza…drink some more beer.” Dean winked shamelessly down at you. 

“That sounds fantastic!” You turned to look back at Sam sitting in front of his laptop. “Sam?” He looked up at you. “Can I use your laptop to play music?” you peered over at him with cute wide eyes, playfully begging him to let you pull it away from him. He chuckled at your attempt at puppy dog eyes and slid the laptop over to you.

“Don’t play any of that hip-hop crap!” Dean shouted over his shoulder as he ran to the kitchen to grab plates and napkins. You rolled your eyes and smiled. You quickly opened up another tab on Sam’s browser and logged on to your Pandora account, selecting one of your classic rock stations. Dean trotted back across the room and smirked as he set down his stuff down. 

“Alrighty, kiddos. We got a meat lover’s pizza, because that shit is delicious…and one with rabbit food because Sammy’s a weirdo.” Dean grinned at Sam, who in turn shot him one of his classic bitch faces. You giggled and shook your head at them. You quickly snuck between them and got to the pizza boxes first, flipping the lids up quickly and snatching a slice from each onto your plate. 

“Damn, she’s not wasting any time,” Dean chuckled down at you. 

“You snooze, you lose,” you tossed back as you pulled a beer out from the opened case, twisting the cap off and taking a long pull. You smacked your lips and exhaled at the satisfying taste, winking over at Dean. 

-

A couple hours went by, and the three of you had pretty much demolished the pizza and were making headway through the case of beer. You and Dean found yourselves singing along with all of the classic rock anthems filtering through the tiny laptop speakers. As more beer flowed, your karaoke skills became more goofy and over-the-top. Sam spent most of his time laughing at your antics.

You felt so incredibly happy. Your cheeks were flushed from your tipsiness and felt like they were permanently scrunched high on your face as you giggled and beamed at both Winchesters. Sam kept staring down at you adoringly, which made your heart do a number of things in your chest. 

The next song shuffles on and you can’t help yourself from laughing in delight. Dean’s eyes widen in amusement and slight disbelief.

“Y/N, you know this song, too?”

“YOU BETTER YOU BETTER YOU BET,” you belt out the lyrics at him to prove you do. Dean cracks up in hysterics. Sam looks slightly confused.

“Aww, Sammy…you don’t know The Who?” you tease him. He rolls his eyes playfully at you but grins. You continue to sing along in spots.

“…I love to hear you say my name especially when you say yes. I got your body right now on my mind and I drunk myself blind to the sound of old T-Rex…”

“What?!” Sam laughs uncontrollably. 

“To the sooooooound of old T-Reeex… oooooh who's next?” You scramble to stand on top of one of the chairs to get closer to eye level with Sam as you continue to sing out, pointing at him dramatically.

“When I say I love you, you say you better!”

“You better you better you bet!” Dean sings from behind you.

“When I say I need you, you say you better!”

“You better you better you bet!”

“You better bet your life…or love with cut you like a knife!”

Sam continued to stare at you with this goofy grin on his face as you sang and danced along on top of the chair in front of him. You briefly thought about the nature of the lyrics you were basically belting out at Sam, but you decided to ignore the butterflies in your stomach and continue on playfully. The next time the chorus came around Sam joined in on singing the “you better you better you bet”-s, much to your excitement. 

As the song winded down, Sam abruptly snatched you up off the chair. You practically shrieked in surprise and glee as he playfully twirled you around in his arms. He laughed as you reflexively wrapped your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist in a desperate effort to cling to him.

The earlier pace of the music slowed down as the next song began. You recognized it to be “Send Her My Love” by Journey. You locked eyes with Sam, your faces only inches away as you realized by his expression that Sam knew the song, too. Suddenly it felt like neither of you could look away from each other. You both failed to see Dean smile to himself at the two of you so wrapped up in each other; he quietly ducked out of the library and retired to his room to leave you two alone.

The lyrics from the rock ballad washed over you as Sam gently released his hold on you and let you slip down his body and back to your feet.

“Send her my love…memories remain…”

Sam let his one hand glide over to yours and laced your fingers together, pulling it up slowly to cradle against his chest. His other arm slipped around you, his hand splayed out against the middle of your back. You wrapped yours around his waist to leave your hand against his lower back. You turned your head to rest it against his chest, his neck bent down to press his face into the top of your head as you began to slow dance. 

“Send her my love…”

Sam smoothed his hand up between your shoulder blades and to the back of your neck, quietly urging you to look up at him. You tilted your face away from his chest to gaze up at him, and he leaned down to press his lips sweetly and earnestly to yours. It felt like the two of you were pouring out all of your unspoken feelings for each other into that kiss. After a few moments Sam broke the kiss to gaze down intently at you before sweeping you gently up into his arms and heading down the hall to his room, the laptop forgotten on the library table.

The two of you passed through the doorway into Sam’s room, and he nudged the door closed with his foot behind him. He carefully set you back on your feet, still holding you close to him. Your heart felt like it was beating a mile a minute inside your chest as you gazed up at this tall, gorgeous man before you. You could still feel the buzzing tipsiness thrumming through your system; Sam hadn’t had as much beer as you, but you could still tell the alcohol had affected him some. Sam’s comforting smell seemed almost intoxicating as it wafted all around you in his dark, quiet bedroom.

Finally after what felt like hours to you, Sam’s large hands came up to cradle your face between his warm palms before he leaned down and kissed you firmly. You sighed contentedly against his questing lips as he slipped his tongue into your mouth. Your open palms rested against the broad expanse of Sam’s chest, gliding across the hard plains of his muscles and causing him to emit a small moan into your mouth. He backed you up gently until you felt the edge of his bed hit the back of your knees. 

After a few more breathless kisses, Sam pulled back and pressed his forehead against your own. The two of you tried to catch your breath as you stared into each other’s eyes. His long hair slipped from behind his ears to brush teasingly against your flushed cheeks.

“Should we, uh…get ready for bed?” Sam asked you quietly. You tried to ignore the slight innuendo in his statement, knowing he didn’t quite mean it like that. Still, you could see the desire in his eyes as he gazed down at you, still standing so close together and right at the edge of his bed. 

You swallowed nervously and nodded your head slowly. Sam gave you a small smile and pressed a quick kiss to your lips before stepping away from you. He stopped when he was a few paces from you, your eyes still locked on each other. Sam shrugged off his flannel before gripping the hem of his t-shirt and easing it up over his head, leaving him deliciously bare from the waist up. Yours hands reached down to the button of your jeans and undid it with slightly shaky fingers, unzipping them and tugging them off your hips and down your legs slowly. Sam’s pants shortly followed yours to the floor. At the same time you reached up behind your back and under your shirt to undo your bra, slipping the straps through your sleeves and off your arms before pulling it off from underneath your shirt. The two of you were finally standing in front of each other half undressed, Sam in just his boxers while you stood in just your t-shirt and underwear.

Sam remained where he was standing and watched you as you shuffled over to your side of the bed and crawled onto the mattress. You settled on your back toward the middle of the bed, leaning your weight back on your forearms as you watched Sam approach you. He climbed slowly onto the bed, his eyes raking over your exposed curves until his entire body hovered over yours. You were practically panting as you let your eyes wander over his naked chest, the corded muscles of his shoulders, and the hard line of his jaw until you were looking up into his dark, hazel eyes. Sam essentially had you boxed in between his arms as his knees pressed into the mattress on either side of your legs, but you weren’t afraid. You felt vulnerable in your position under this beautiful, hulking man, but you still felt safe in this bed. 

After a few more quiet moments, only interrupted by your mutually audible breathing, you realized that Sam was not going to make the first move. It was like he could sense the way you were feeling vulnerable and was waiting for you to decide how this would continue. So like any sane girl would, you leaned up and kissed Sam Winchester.

You could feel him sighing into your mouth as you let your tongue venture between his lips. Sam’s hand came to cradle the back of your head gently as he slowly lowered you completely onto your back. He carefully lifted his knee to nudge your legs apart so he could settle his hips onto the mattress between your legs. Your heart had stilled briefly as he was shifting himself between your legs, but he didn’t try to rut against you. Sam must have felt you flinch slightly at his movements. He pulled his mouth away from yours and pressed slow, chaste kisses along your cheek, murmuring quiet assurances into your ear.

“Shh…it’s okay. We’re not going to do anything you don’t want…” 

You felt him cease his kisses and opened your eyes to see him staring earnestly down at you. His thumb brushed gently across your cheek.

“When you want to stop, just tell me. Okay?”

“Okay,” you whispered back. 

He flashed you one of his adorable dimpled smiles before kissing you again. Your hands finally left the mattress and began smoothing themselves up along the smooth, naked expanse of his back. You could feel his muscles flexing against your fingertips as you traced patterns into his skin. You let your one hand trace down along his shoulder and down to his bicep, squeezing the bulging muscle gently before tracing your hand back up to his back. His body felt like it was radiating heat as your kisses became more fervent. Sam’s mouth finally broke away from yours and began traveling along your jaw and down to your neck. He settled on one spot of your skin and started sucking, nipping, and licking over and over again until you were sure a nice mark was formed. You were quickly dissolving into a writhing, moaning mess under Sam’s ministrations. Your nipples hardened and grazed against Sam’s chest from under your shirt as your fingers dug lightly into his back. Sam clearly was affected by you as he groaned into your neck. You felt him shift his upper body so his chest could graze against your fabric-covered nipples again. You both moaned at the contact.

“Y/N,” Sam breathed against your skin, “Can I touch you?”

You nodded your head enthusiastically. Sam groaned in appreciation as he pressed a few more open, wet kisses along your throat. He shifted his weight onto one of his arms as his other hand slipped from behind your head, down along the side of your body to your ribcage. He paused for a few moments, allowing you some time to change your mind before he continued. You felt his large hand shift up to cup your breast over your thin t-shirt, his thumb circling your nipple and causing the fabric to rub deliciously against it. You squeezed your eyes shut and tilted your head back into the pillows as you let out a quiet moan at the slight friction. Sam’s mouth continued to work over your neck, his hot breath fanning over your skin. He pinched your nipple lightly between his thumb and forefinger, rolling it a few times before his hand slid down your torso again. His fingers stilled at the hem of your shirt, which has risen up slightly to reveal a small patch of your midriff. His fingertips grazed along that small soft expanse of skin, teasing you before finally slipping them under your t-shirt. Your breath hitched as you felt his warm hand smoothing up your belly, his fingertips barely grazing against the underside of your breast. He teased you there for a few more moments before reaching up further to cup your breast in his palm again. Sam’s mouth finally returned to your own, where he dipped his tongue back into your mouth. His thumb began brushing back and forth over your pebbled nipple, and he moaned into your mouth as he felt you shiver at the contact. 

After a while Sam’s hand slid over to your other breast to give it the same treatment. Your breathing was becoming harsh against his unrelenting lips and tongue. You couldn’t keep yourself from rolling against his body and squeezing you thighs against the outside of Sam’s hips. You could feel Sam’s torso rocking against you as he was no doubt pressing his erection into the mattress below you, fighting the urge to press it against your panty-covered core. Sam finally released your mouth and began pressing more kisses back down your throat.

“Please,” he whispered against your throat as he slowly continued over the collar of your shirt and down your sternum. 

You could only make a noise in the back of your throat and nod your head again in reply, starting to become lost in the pleasure Sam was giving you. You could feel his answering moan vibrating between your breasts as his mouth continued to travel down to your ribcage. He shifted his body back and laid himself more directly on top of you as he brought both of his hands down to the hem of your shirt. He slowly slid your shirt up along your front, kissing every new patch of skin he revealed until he was smoothing the fabric up over your breasts. His lips left your skin and he pulled himself up to gaze down at your exposed chest. You dared to open your eyes to see him looking over this exposed part of your body with what looked like pure adoration and appreciation.

“God, you are beautiful,” he breathed before resuming his wet kisses along your bare skin. You felt his hot mouth against the underside of your breast, pressing kisses against the flesh there before running the tip of his tongue up to your painfully erect nipple. He licked it gently a few times before wrapping his lips around the peak. His actions had you keening as he began sucking lightly at your nipple and running the tip of his tongue all around it. He eventually parted his mouth from your breast to kiss over to the other and repeating the same process: kissing the underside of it, licking your nipple before pulling it between his warm, wet lips and sucking gently. Your hands came up to thread your fingers into Sam’s soft hair as he lavished your breasts. 

Finally, Sam released your nipple from his mouth and slowly pressed soft kisses between your breasts, trying to calm his harsh breathing and pounding heart. You whined softly at the ceasing intensity, your core aching with pleasure. Sam stopped his chaste kisses against your sternum to simply rest his head against you, relishing in the feeling of you softly carding your fingers through his hair. You both laid their quietly, calming down together. Eventually Sam lifted himself up and gently pulled your shirt back down over you before he shifted his body from between your legs and settled on his stomach next to you. You turned your head to see him facing you, a small, sweet smile gracing his features. You smiled happily back and turned over so you were pressed along his side. You pressed a soft, lingering kiss against his lips before settling your head back down onto the pillow, staring contentedly at one another. 

Suddenly you felt like you needed to say what you had been thinking about all night, what had settled itself in the back of your mind for who knows how long.

“I think…I think I love you,” you whispered into the quiet room.

Sam stared at you in silence for a few moments before leaning into you slowly and pressing his lips against yours. He pulled back to look at you again, a smile hinting at the corners of his mouth.

“I think I love you, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh, I'm so sorry for the wait. I was away visiting family for a week, and then we unexpectedly had to put my dog down. :( Add midterms into the mix and it was very hard for me to find the time to really sit down and write what I wanted. As always, thank you so much for all of your love and support. I hope it was worth the wait. <3


	18. Chapter 18

You woke slowly to find yourself facing Sam’s slumbering form. A twist of your upper body and a glance behind you towards the clock on the bedside table revealed it to be 9:26 in the morning. You turned back to your original position facing Sam. Your bodies were pressed fairly close to each other, legs tangled lightly and one of Sam’s heavy arms draped over your waist. This wasn’t your usually sleeping position, but you chocked it up to your mutual exhaustion after your late-night activities. You watched him sleep for a few minutes, an easy smile tugging at the corners of your mouth at his beautiful, peaceful expression.

You told him you loved him last night, and he told you the same. You felt so incredibly happy laying there with him, thinking about the previous night’s pleasurable endeavors as your eyes traced his features. Before you even realized it, you raised your hand up to oh-so-gently brush the back of your fingertips against his cheek. His stubble rasped against them as you rubbed them in the opposite direction. You let the tips of your fingers trace lightly around his cheek bones, down the bridge of his nose, and along his jawline. When you traced the edges of his lips Sam finally began to stir. He shifted slightly and brought his hand up to capture yours, kissing the tips of your fingers lightly before curling them down to cradle your hand against his bare chest. He opened his hazel eyes slowly and gave you a sleepy, dimpled smile. You smiled back and couldn’t keep yourself from leaning in and pressing your lips against his for a brief kiss. 

“Hi,” you whispered against his lips.

“Hi,” he whispered back before kissing you softly again. You hummed contentedly against his mouth before pulling back. Sam pulled your body more firmly against his as the two of you continued to lay there. You let your fingers wander over his broad naked chest, his skin hot to the touch. 

“Did you sleep okay?” Sam murmured quietly.

“Mmmhmm,” you hummed in affirmation. “You kind of tuckered me out last night,” you answered teasingly. Sam chuckled at your cheekiness.

“And that was only the beginning…”

You felt your cheeks flush at his innuendo, but you smiled nonetheless. You nestled closer to Sam and began to press your lips under his jaw and down his neck. Your mouth twisted into a mischievous smirk as you began to mouth hotly along Sam’s neck, his breath hitching ever so slightly. 

“Hmmm…but now I’m curious…” you mumbled into the skin of his neck. You dragged your fingertips lightly across his pecks, slowly inching their way towards his nipple.

“A-About what?”

“About whether this has the same effect on you…” The tips of your fingers finally grazed over his pebbled nipple, and Sam inhaled a quick gasp. You began to use more of your tongue and teeth along his neck while you started to circle his nipple lightly. Soft moans slipped from Sam’s parted lips when you began to nip and suck at one particular spot while still teasing him with your fingertips. You eventually continued your way down his neck and chest until you were able to press a warm, wet kiss against the hardened peak. At that, Sam groaned and pulled you back up to him so he could kiss you properly. 

“Y/N…if you keep doing that, I’m going to end up painfully hard…” he growled against your mouth. If that wasn’t enough to let you know how much your actions affected him, his slowly hardening length pressing against your thigh was definitely an indication. Sam’s kisses began to slow as he tried to scoot his hips back a little bit farther so he wouldn’t keep pressing into you. Suddenly, you felt a little pang of guilt at exciting him like this with no intention of continuing and… well… getting him off. You were still a little too nervous and uncomfortable to be bold enough to touch him like that. Sam clearly sensed your shift in mood and pulled back enough to look at you.

“You okay? Did I upset you?” he asked, failing to keep his concern from sneaking into his words.

“No,” you answered quickly. “It’s just…I feel bad about teasing you and not doing… more.”

Sam looked briefly surprised. “Hey, no, don’t feel bad...” He rubbed your arm comfortingly before letting his mouth slide into a crooked grin, attempting to be a little flirtatious to put you at ease. “I haven’t even made you come yet…That wouldn’t be very fair if I got off before I’ve taken care of you first…”

Your eyes widened comically at Sam’s forwardness, your cheeks surely a vivid shade of pink. Sam chuckled and pressed a quick, chaste kiss to your lips before pulling back to continue gazing at your flushed face. A hesitant smile graced your features. His expression changed as a thought must have suddenly crossed his mind.

“Y/N…have you ever had an orgasm?” 

If your face was able to get any redder, it surely must have at hearing him ask you that personal question. Sam’s question wasn’t accusatory; it was more curious than anything. You swallowed self-consciously and blinked a few times before shaking your head no. You watched as Sam’s brows quirked up ever so lightly at your response.

“No? Not even by yourself?” he pressed lightly. You could barely maintain any eye contact with him anymore. 

“N-No, I…I mean, I’ve kind of tried before…but it never really got to that point,” you replied shyly. You chanced another look back up at Sam’s face to gage his reaction to your confession. It felt like Sam was surveying you in a whole new light now. He already knew you were a virgin, but obviously he hadn’t realized you were so completely. A wry but sweet smile began to stretch across his face as he gazed at you adoringly.

“Would…would you let me give it a try? I-I don’t mean right now, but…maybe? I-If you wanted me to?” Sam’s cool facade throughout this entire talk had quickly fumbled into this nervous but sincere demeanor. It kind of put you at ease knowing you weren’t the only one feeling a bit awkward about discussing such an intimate thing. You swallowed nervously before nodding your head softly.

“Umm…ye—uh, yes.”

Sam’s face practically lit up at your affirmation. He swooped in for a few more sweet and earnest kisses before smoothing your hair away from your face with his long fingers. 

“Okay,” he whispered.

-

That afternoon found you, Sam, and Dean gathered around one of the big library tables. Dean had announced that he had found a case that he and his brother just couldn’t ignore. So, you all immersed yourselves into the research to make sure the boys were adequately prepared before hitting the road. 

A few more hours passed, and they were ready to roll out. You stood anxiously to the side as they started to make their way through the bunker and out to the Impala. You followed them out this time and stood by the car as Dean loaded up the trunk. Sam came back to you to hold you for another few moments.

“This thing’s a couple states over…but we’ll get back here as soon as we can,” he mumbled into your hair. You nodded against his chest. Your heart was aching at the prospect of being apart from Sam.

“Hey…” he pulled back slightly and tilted your face up to him. He leaned down to press your lips together softly. 

“I love you,” he whispered against your lips.

“I love you, too.”

-

You loved to read. You really did. But after three days of doing nothing but reading you were a little sick of it. You needed to get up and do something a bit more active, even if it was just to convince yourself you weren’t a complete bum.

Standing up from your chair, you raised your arms high above your head and curved your back to feel all your muscles in your torso pull deliciously in a long stretch. You took a moment to gaze across the shelves and various pieces of furniture. That’s when you realized what you could do.

You could clean!

There were plenty of spots around the bunker that have been left untouched since the time of the Men of Letters. You weren’t necessarily fond of cleaning, but you figured giving this entire place a good wipe down would take up lots of time. Because seriously, you were going a little stir crazy being alone with nothing really to do. Plus, you figured it would be a nice way to pay the boys back for letting you move in with them. Yes, you agreed to help them with research, but they honestly didn’t call you too often to qualify it as your only occupation here.

Digging your phone out of your pocket, you quickly swiped through your apps to find Pandora and put your stations on shuffle. You cranked up the volume and set it down on the table. You considered just using some headphones, but the thought of not being able to hear anything else around you in such a huge place kind of freaked you out a bit. You were completely alone, but god-forbid you couldn’t hear some crazy murderer sneaking up behind you to slit your throat...

You really needed to lay off the horror novels.

A quick dash to the supply closet revealed plenty of cleaning supplies for you to use. You tied your hair back to keep it out of your face and set to work.

-

You slept so well after that night. It literally took you the entire day to clean the bunker from top to bottom. You were completely exhausted by the time you tossed the last rag into the washing machine, but you felt so accomplished. The following day you decided to do all the laundry that the three of you had been piling into the hamper. That was almost another entire day of loading, unloading, hanging, and folding clothes. 

Sam would sporadically text you to keep you updated on the hunt’s progress. This thing was not as easy to track down as they initially thought. You groaned at the prospect of being alone for several more days. Swiping through the apps on your phone again, you settled on Netflix. Might as well catch up on all the TV you’ve wanted to watch.

-

It had been a week and a half, and you had finally heard from Sam that their hunt was over. Thank god. You were tired of sleeping alone in his room. 

SAM: We’ll be getting home tonight, but it’s gonna be super late. Don’t wait up for us.

YOU: Nope. I’m totally waiting up for you.

SAM: Y/N. No. Seriously it’s gonna be like early AM 

YOU: Saaaaaaaam

SAM: Be a good girl and go to sleep

YOU: :P

SAM: I’ll wake you up in a nice way… ;)

YOU: Ugh. Fine. You win. ;)

SAM: Hahaha I love you :)

YOU: :) I love you too! <3

You padded down the hall in your bare feet to Sam’s room, closing the door softly behind you. You stripped out of your clothes, tossing them into his laundry basket before digging out one of his thin white t-shirts. You slipped under the covers and tried to calm your excitement for Sam to finally come home to you. Closing your eyes, you began thinking of all the “nice” ways Sam could wake you up…

-

You stirred at the feeling of something warm pressing all along your back. A mouth was ghosting down along your ear to your neck where it began to press hot, wet kisses to your sensitive skin. Fingertips brushed teasingly across your nipple, the thin fabric of your shirt the only barrier between them. You moaned softly and arched your back against the hard body behind you.

“Sam?” you breathed, sleep still fogging your brain as you struggled to wake up fully.

“Mmmhmm,” he hummed against your neck. He was still nipping, licking, and sucking at your neck. His large hand cupped your breast, rubbing circles around your nipple with his thumb. You arched into his touch, your ass pressing back into his hips enough to feel his growing erection. You weren’t afraid of it though; you were too focused on how his mouth and hand were making you feel.

“God, I missed you…” Sam whispered against your neck. His breathing sounded loud in your ear. You could only pant and moan as he continued to work your body. Heat was pooling in your core, and you clenched your thighs together to try and quell the pleasure centered down there. You pressed your ass back against Sam’s hardening length as your rubbed your thighs together, feeling how your panties were wet and clinging to you from your desire. Sam groaned at your movements, shifting his hips against you ever so slightly in response. It only made you arch against him more, your moans starting to sound a little desperate at all the pleasure and pure want coursing through your body.

“Do you want me to touch you?” Sam whispered directly into your ear, sounding so hot you practically shuttered. You had to take a moment to try and actually process what he was asking you.

Do you want him to touch you? Your body was screaming YES so loud that you could barely register your mind hesitating on the answer.

“Uh-huh,” you moaned, nodding your head a little to tell him you wanted him to. 

Sam moaned into your skin and went back to devouring your neck. He pinched and rolled your nipples a few more times before his hand started to slowly slide down your body. Inch by torturous inch his hand made its way down towards your core. The tips of his long fingers were just ghosting over the top of your panties when your mind finally caught up to you.

Sam’s fingers so close to your core triggered your memories and the accompanying anxiety and fear. You stiffened violently against him, and Sam immediately halted his movements and practically ripped his hand back away from your body.

“Shit, you alright?”

God, you hated yourself. As soon as you went rigid you instantly regretted your body’s betrayal. 

“I-I’m sor—”

“—N-No, it’s okay,” Sam interjected. “Shhh, come here.” He started to roll your body back toward him so you could face him. Your heart was clenching painfully in your chest with regret, and to your slight embarrassment you realized you were still incredibly turned on.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry…” Sam was staring back at you with his giant puppy eyes, so full of concern and regret. You immediately started to shake your head no.

“I-I didn’t mean to, Sam.” You watched as he tried to shake his head no, but you continued to try and explain yourself. “No, I…I wanted you to touch me,” –Jesus, you felt like you were going to cry—“but I…I-It was feeling your hand, it was just…I thought—” Your face was flushing terribly from your mixed embarrassment and sexually frustration. “—fuck.” You squeezed your eyes shut, your hand coming up to cover your face as you tried to reign yourself in.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Sam murmured quietly, gripping your wrist lightly and pulling your hand away from your face. “We don’t have to do this right now.”

You whined, not wanting to let this intense physical moment pass you. You were slipping down from your pleasurable high the longer he didn’t touch you, and damn you if your damaged mind was going to ruin this chance for you. You wanted him, like REALLY wanted him.

“Sam…” you breathed his name like a prayer as you pressed your body up against him again. Your fingers threaded into his hair, and you brought your face up right to his, barely leaving and space between your lips. He swallowed and slowly wrapped his arms around your waist, one of his large hands smoothing up under your shirt and along your naked back. You barely brushed your parted mouth against his, teasing him, trying to work him back up to where he was before. Your mutual breathing was becoming louder by the second. You could feel Sam was starting to get hard again against your thigh. The sexual tension was becoming too much for you to handle.

“Please…” you whispered against his lips, Sam groaning softly at your begging. “I want you to touch me…”

Sam crashed his mouth against yours in a needy kiss. You pressed your bodies firmly against each other, Sam shifting his thigh to press up against your core with the slightest pressure. You moaned openly into his mouth, relishing in the tiniest bit of relief it was giving your aching center. You rocked shamelessly against him, seeking out some friction. He sucked in a quick breath at feeling your soaked panties rub against his naked thigh, moaning when he could feel it slick on his hot skin. 

“You—You said it was the fingers right? That set you off?” he murmured against your mouth. You nodded your head vigorously, still pressing and rubbing yourself against his thigh. He groaned against your mouth at your enthusiasm.

“O-Okay. Will you let me try something else?”

You hummed against his mouth as a yes. Sam rolled you gently on to your back before dragging his mouth away from yours to kiss down your neck. You tried to catch your breath as he made his way down along your collar bone. His fingers snuck down to the hem of your shirt and began to slide it up your torso until he uncovered your breasts. Sam bent down to lick and mouth against the smooth flesh of your breasts, one hand coming up to pull at your nipple while his lips descended on the other. Your fingers threaded into his hair as he suckled lightly for a while before slipping off and shifting to your other nipple to give it the same treatment. Sam spent some time licking and mouthing at the spot between your breasts before he began to slowly trail his hot, wet kisses down your belly. Your hands had fallen from his head to lie uselessly on the mattress as Sam continued his descent, his body settled between your legs. His mouth stopped just above the waistband of your panties, teasing the skin there with his lips while his hands slowly smoothed up your thighs. Your breath caught in your throat as you felt his fingers curl around the edge of your panties.

“I’m going to take these off,” he rumbled against your lower belly. “If you want me to stop, you just have to tell me, okay?”

“Uh-huh,” you breathed. Your heart felt like it was in your throat.

Sam tugged your panties gently down your hips and pulled them slowly off your legs, dropping them off to the side. Your legs reflexively tried to close at how exposed you were, but Sam’s shoulders nestled between your legs prevented you from doing much. You closed your eyes as you felt your face flush violently at being in such an intimate and unfamiliar position. Your hands tangled themselves into the damp sheets below you. Sam’s hands were rubbing along your thighs in an assuring gesture.

“You okay?”

“Mmmhmm,” you hummed nervously.

Sam began to place soft, wet kisses along the inside of your thigh, and you gasped at the sensation. He inched closer and closer to your center before turning to kiss along the inside of your other thigh. You were practically squirming. Sam gently settled your legs over his shoulders before smoothing his hands across your hips to your lower belly and leaning his face over your open, dripping center. You cried out softly as you felt the tip of his tongue dip ever so lightly between your folds. He licked up between them gently a few times, the pointed tip of his tongue slipping up and finding that incredible sensitive bundle of nerves. Your hips bucked involuntarily at the sudden shock of pleasure. His hand rested on your hips, barely pressing down on you but encouraging you to try and keep your hips down for him as he worked you over with his mouth. 

His lips began to move hungrily against you, his fingers squeezing your hips gently as he tasted you. You could feel his tongue running along the edges of your folds, teasing you over and over again before gently prodding at your opening. Your breathing was harsh, whining high in your throat at the incredible pleasure running through you. His mouth felt amazing, all wet and hot, the sounds he was making against your slick folds making your toes curl and your face flush red. This was seriously the most incredible and intimate thing you had ever done, and you loved every second of it. Sam’s mouth had shifted up again to seek out your clit with his tongue. You cried out again when he found it, circling it lightly before licking it over and over again. Your back was arching off the bed, fists clenched in the damp sheets. Sam’s hands gripped your thighs firmly and eased them open wider for him as he shifted forward slightly and went to town eating you out. His mouth was pressing firmer against you, his lips and tongue more insistent in their movements. Everything was so slick, and every drag of his tongue hurdling you closer and closer to the edge. The pleasure was building raptly in your core, the muscles in your lower belly and thighs clenching. Sam’s lips finally sealed around your clit as he moaned around you and kept rubbing his tongue rapidly against you.

You came hard and saw stars. Back bowing off the bed, your head thrown back with your mouth open and moaning practically at the top of your lungs as Sam worked you through your first orgasm. Your pussy throbbed from the intense pleasure, feeling your inner walls clenching around nothing. Sam was groaning into your folds as he gripped you tight against his face.

After what felt like hours, you were finally coming down from that incredible high. Sam’s tongue was licking over you lazily, cleaning up the rest of your slickness. You tried to ease yourself away from his mouth when you started to get oversensitive. Sam kissed the insides of your thighs before levering his upper body off of you and onto his muscled arms. You tilted your head forward to look at him as he hovered over you. His face was just as flushed as yours and his mouth was still slick from your juices. Your eyes slipped down to where you could see a damp spot over the front of his boxers. His eyes followed the path of yours until he found what you were staring at. He looked back up with you with a sheepish grin.

“Uh, ya… you just made me come in my boxers like a teenage boy.”

You couldn’t keep yourself from giggling. Sam’s face lit up at your laughter, and he quickly crawled his way back up to you to kiss you thoroughly, curling you both onto your sides. Your cheeks reddened even more when you realized you could taste yourself on his mouth...


	19. Chapter 19

Your cheek was resting on hot, naked skin. One arm was draped over his broad chest, while your other arm was tucked between your bodies. Your eyes opened slowly to reveal Sam’s slumbering face, peaceful but clearly exhausted if the dark circles under his eyes were any indication. You had no idea what time the boys had gotten home last night or how late you and Sam had stayed awake until your mutual desires were satisfied… You blushed at the memory.

You laid there quietly with Sam for several minutes, revisiting those incredible moments from the night before in your mind. It felt like your heart was racing just from thinking about all the intimate ways Sam explored your body. And the things he did with those lips and that tongue…Your eyes zeroed in on the mouth in question. God, you were totally ready and willing to let Sam make you feel like that again. 

You were so incredibly tempted to wake Sam up for a little fun, but he clearly needed to sleep a bit more. You shifted slightly and felt his arm curved around your back, but he wasn’t holding you tightly against him. Slowly you pulled away and tried to sit up without disturbing him. Much to your chagrin, Sam did stir and open his eyes a bit at your movement.

“Y/N?” he mumbled through his drowsiness.

“Shhh…go back to sleep,” you whispered gently.

Sam nodded his head a few times before slumping back against his pillow. Poor thing was so exhausted. You leaned over and placed a soft kiss against his cheek, feeling his sleepy smile shifting the muscles in his face. You smiled too as you crept over to his drawers to pull out one of his long-sleeved flannel shirts to wear over your t-shirt and underwear. Once you buttoned it up and checked that it covered your ass, you slunk out of his room and headed towards the kitchen.

You padded down the hall quietly, the only sounds coming from your bare feet scuffling over the floor. To your surprise, you found Dean already in the kitchen leaning against the counter and nursing a steaming mug of coffee. His hair stuck out in random places and his robe was left open to reveal his t-shirt and boxers. As soon as he saw you, he gave you the biggest smile and set his mug down onto the counter.

“Hey, kiddo,” he rumbled affectionately as you walked over to him and gave him a tight hug. 

“I’m glad you’re back,” you mumbled against the fabric of his robe pressed against the side of your face. His hands slid up your back and cupped your shoulders to lean your front away from him a bit. His eyes flitted warmly across your face and down along your neck. You watched him as his eyes zeroed in on one particular spot, and his full lips quirked up into a smirk.

“Looks like Sammy did a real number on you,” he teased as he traced a finger lightly along the side of your neck. Your eyes widened comically as you realized Sam must have left a bunch of dark marks on your skin. You practically slapped your hand over the side of your neck in a vain attempt to try and hide them, but Dean merely chuckled at your sad attempt. 

“Oh, honey, it’s a little too late for you to try and cover them now.” His eyes crinkled in the corners as he beamed down at you teasingly. “Besides, I kind of already figured you two had some fun last night, based on all the noise coming from your room...” Dean winked at you. 

You were completely mortified. Your face must have turned nine different shades of red as you could do nothing but stare back at Dean in horror at his revelation. He quickly took note of your distress and stifled his rumbling laughter.

“Shit. Y/N, I didn’t mean to make you freak out. I was just trying to tease you a bit.” His hands rested on the tops of your shoulders and gave a little squeeze, trying to reassure you. You tried to swallow some of your embarrassment as you gave him a hesitant nod in return. You awkwardly cleared your throat as you tried to find your voice again.

“I—uh, I’m sorry if we kept—”

“No, no, no,” Dean cut you off quickly. “It’s totally fine. It didn’t bother me at all, I swear. I’m actually really happy for you two,” he gave you a small, sweet smile. 

You relaxed a bit at his statement but your cheeks remained as flushed as ever. Dean’s eyes wandered over your face again as he seemed to be contemplating a thought.

“Y/N…can I, uh, ask you something? I-If that’s okay with you?” Dean became more and more nervous as he voiced his question to you. You paused for a few moments before nodding your head hesitantly. 

“Are…are you totally okay with what’s going on between you and Sam?” He let his question sink in a little before he continued, “I know you’ve been through a lot…and I know Sam would never do anything you didn’t want to do, but, y’know, it’s not always easy to be totally honest with the person you care about, especially when it has to do with them…” Dean realized he was starting to ramble. He sighed and tried to start again.

“I just… I just want to make sure you’re alright. Like, REALLY alright with everything you’ve been doing with Sam.”

Your heart kind of clenched in your chest at Dean’s genuine concern for you. You gave him a small, shy smile and nodded.

“Ya…ya, I’m okay. I mean, I still have a few moments where something we’re doing will kinda… trigger me.” You shrugged and lowered your gaze briefly to the floor, “I guess I’m still kinda messed up from it all…” 

Dean openly frowned at your comment. You tried to salvage your awkwardly trailing speech.

“But Sam’s been taking really good care of me. Like, seriously good care of me. I mean, you both have! Err...well,” you cleared your throat a little awkwardly, “…obviously not… quite in the same way…”

“Hey, I could be taking care of you, too…” Dean rumbled suggestively, flashing you a devilishly handsome grin. He winked shamelessly down at you before chuckling at your dumbfounded expression. He shook his head to let you know he was teasing you, and you let him gather you tightly to him in an affectionate hug. From behind you heard the sound of shuffling feet entering into the kitchen before coming to an abrupt halt.

“Uh…am I interrupting something?”

“Yes, go away,” Dean grunts automatically, smiling into the top of your head as you laugh. You shove him away playfully before turning around to smile at a sleep-rumpled Sam wearing a t-shirt and boxers and standing awkwardly in the doorway.

“Well,” Dean pauses to slurp back the rest of his coffee, “I’m going to take a shower. I’ll let the two of you fight over the remaining hot water,” he winked and swaggered out casually passed Sam in the doorway. Sam briefly turned his head to follow his brother’s retreating figure down the hall before shaking his head and smiling at you.

“G’morning, sleepy head,” you drawled with a smile back.

“Mmm…good morning,” Sam murmured as he traveled the length of the kitchen to you with a few strides of his long legs. He casually wrapped his arms around you and gently pulled you against him. You leaned and tilted your head back so you could gaze up at his dimpled smile. 

“I thought you were going to sleep longer,” you teased. Sam chuckled and leaned down to press his lips against yours for a soft kiss.

“I got too lonely without you in my bed,” he whispered against your lips. You could feel your blush bloom in your cheeks at his words.

“Hmmm…well I got too hungry,” you giggled back. Sam smiled down at you before letting you back out of his embrace.

“Speaking of food, we might as well eat while Dean hogs the shower.” Sam moved with you towards the fridge and began to help you gather things up to make breakfast. You made eggs and toast while Sam cut up some fruit. You both settled in close together to eat in silence, sneaking glances and close-lipped smiles around your food at each other. As you finished eating, you both could hear the sound of Dean whistling down the hallway before shutting himself in his bedroom. You looked at Sam and nodded your head towards the doorway.

“You should take the first shower. I’ve been indulging in hot water these past few weeks.”

Sam frowned a bit at your offer, “Nobody should volunteer for a cold shower...”

“Nah, I’ll be fine. You go ahead,” You nudged him playfully. 

Sam sat there for a minute regarding you before a small smirk hinted at the corners of his mouth.

“Well…we could always share…” he leveled his hazel eyes with yours with a look that made your legs press together in arousal. His grin grew when he noticed you squirming in your seat a little. “Is that something you’d like, Y/N?”

Your heartrate picked up at his offer. God, yes. A shower with Sam sounded amazing. You nodded your head slowly. Sam’s grin morphed into a full-blown smile. You watched him rise to his feet and hold a hand out to you. Your tiny hand settled into his larger upturned palm as you stood up from your chair. He pulled you gently to him and pressed his lips against yours slow and sweet. Pulling back, he cupped your cheek in his warm hand and stared down at you intently before speaking again.

“You can change your mind at any time,” he mumbled quietly at you with a soft smile. You smiled and nodded, leaning up on your tiptoes to press another kiss against his mouth. Lowering yourself back onto your heels, you tugged Sam along with you as you headed towards the doorway. It felt like your stomach had erupted in a million butterflies again as you paced gradually down the hallway together. Sam paused outside the bathroom to let you walk in before him, and he closed the door softly behind him.

The air in the bathroom still felt warm and heavy from Dean’s time in the shower. You could feel your pulse jumping in your neck as you turned around nervously to face Sam. He seemed a little nervous himself, but he gave you another one of his adorable dimpled smiles to calm you.

“You okay?”

“Ya,” you swallowed quickly, “…just not sure where to start.” You huffed out a tiny awkward laugh, but Sam’s gorgeous smile put you a little more at ease. 

Sam stepped around you slowly to turn on the shower. You both turned to face each other again. Sam’s eyes traveled down your body briefly before his gaze settled back on yours.

“Would you like me to undress you? Or would you like to do that yourself?” he asked quietly, absolutely no judgement in his tone, just giving you the control over what you wanted to happen. You smiled at his thoughtfulness.

“You can undress me if I can undress you…” you murmured, eyes traveling slowly up his tall form to meet his darkening gaze.

Sam took a couple of steps towards you and pressed another soft, easy kiss against your mouth. His hand came up to sweetly cup the back of your neck as his tongue licked gently at the seam of your lips. You parted your mouth slowly for him and relished in the way his tongue glided against yours. His other hand slid to the top button of your borrowed flannel shirt and began to undo them one by one. Both of his hands came up to the top of your shoulders to gently push the fabric off and fall to the floor. His fingers snaked down to the hem of your t-shirt, teasing it up your middle as he continued to kiss you languorously. You reluctantly parted from Sam’s mouth to let him pull the shirt up over your head and completely off. For a brief moment you had to fight the urge to cross your arms over your bare chest, but the way that Sam was looking at you gave you enough courage to stand before him in nothing but your panties. You reached forward to slip your hands beneath Sam’s t-shirt, smoothing your hands up his hardened abs. His skin felt incredibly hot underneath your palms as you guided his shirt up over his pecks. Sam obliged you by lifting his arms and pulling the rest of the fabric over his head to drop the shirt onto the floor beside him. 

You stood there in awe over Sam’s chiseled body. His tan skin and toned muscles were almost unbelievable, and you couldn’t keep yourself from feeling self-conscious about your own body. Sam interrupted your thoughts by stepping forward and swooping down to steal your mouth in a firm kiss. His hands glided along the naked skin of your back while yours were placed flatly across his upper abs. He pulled away again after a few breathless moments to stare intently into your eyes. Your breath hitched slightly as you felt his fingers dip under the waistband of your panties. He eased them down and off of your hips before letting gravity take the rest of the thin fabric to the floor. Your face became the familiar red beacon of your self-consciousness as for the first time you bared yourself completely in front of a man. And what a man he was. Sam loomed over you, basically drinking you in as his eyes roamed across your naked curves. You took note of his hardened erection straining against the confines of his boxers before you shifted your gaze back up to his face. His eyes returned to your face as he cupped your cheeks lovingly between his palms.

“You are so incredibly beautiful,” he rumbled over the continuous spray of the shower behind him. Your teeth peeked out from between your lips as you smiled up at him. You kept your eyes locked on his as you brought your hands up towards Sam’s sides, only ceasing their trembling when they made solid contact with the skin of his hips. You both seemed to swallow at your mutual nervousness as you were about to venture into this unknown territory. The tips of your fingers curled into the waistband of his boxers, and oh-so-slowly you began to pull them down his hips. You were careful to pull the fabric away from his front so Sam’s erection could be easily freed as you pulled his boxers completely off his hips to fall to the tiled floor. You were pretty sure your eyes bulged slightly out of your head as you were greeted with the tall and gloriously naked sight of Sam Winchester.

“Wow,” you breathed, and it was Sam’s turn to blush. You couldn’t help but stare a bit at his long, thick erection; the head flushed a ruddy pink. If you were being honest with yourself you found his size extremely intimidating, but you quickly shut off that worry to deal with on another day. Your attention snapped back to Sam as he nudged your head back up towards his face. He smiled at your wide eyes peering up at him, feeling like you were completely caught in the act of ogling him. (To be fair, you totally were.) 

“Should we get into that shower?” Sam murmured down at you through his smile. You nodded your head and let him pull you gently into the shower behind him. You stood behind Sam as he stepped under the streaming water facing away from you, his flawless back and gorgeous ass on display. When you watched him have to duck to get his head underneath the showerhead, you couldn’t contain your snort of laughter. His head quickly turned and hazel eyes flickered over his shoulder towards you.

“What?” he laughed. “They never install these things high enough,” he whined slightly as he continued to chuckle good-humoredly. You stepped forward with a smile as he stepped a bit to the side to give you some room under the water. It was still surprisingly warm. You closed your eyes as you shifted completely under the stream, your hands coming up to comb your hair away from your face as the water coursed over your whole body. You opened your eyes and were greeted with the beautiful sight of Sam standing close to you, long hair and toned muscles dripping with water. Sam was clearly caught up in the sight of you in a similar state; his mouth parted and his eyebrows rose ever so slightly as his gaze roamed over your wet, naked body under the shower. He leaned down and captured your lips with his own for a slow kiss. He was careful not to press his naked erection against your equally naked body as you ventured into this whole new experience with him. You broke the kiss gently and gazed at each other, trading soft smiles and cheerful looks.

“I love you,” you whispered up to Sam.

“I love you, too.” You practically beamed at each other as you traded a few more wet kisses under the torrents of warm water.

Eventually you remembered the purpose of a shower and began to reach for your bottle of shampoo. Sam’s hand beat you to it and held it up.

“May I?” he asked with a grin. You grinned and nodded back before turning around. A snick and a squirt sounded shortly followed by a thunk before Sam’s fingers began to work themselves through your hair. He lathered the strands up thoroughly, massaging gently into your scalp before he withdrew his hands. He guided you back around to face him, casually leaving his hands around your waist, and you tilted your head back to rinse all the suds out. You let him keep his hands where they were as you leaned around him to squirt some conditioner into your hand. Sam watched you intently as your hands came up to your head to slather it through your hair, his eyes trailing down to your proffered breasts on display. His fingers brushed smooth circles onto your skin before he reluctantly turned to grab his own bottle of shampoo. Before he could squirt any into his palm, you snatched it away from him teasingly.

“My turn,” you winked up at him. He chuckled down at you.

“Good luck reaching my hair from down there,” he teased. You pouted playfully for a few moments while Sam seemed to be making up his mind about something. His gaze became a bit more intense as he apparently came to a decision. Slowly you watched as Sam lowered himself onto his knees before you, his head level with your belly. 

You blushed furiously at the incredible image of this large and incredibly sexy man kneeling at your feet, his hair wet and slicked back while tiny beads of water clung to his dark eyelashes. He placed his hands on top of his thighs, and you glanced down briefly to confirm that his erection was still standing at attention. You swallowed nervously as you opened his bottle of shampoo and squirted a dollop into your palm. Setting the bottle down, you spread the shampoo in your hands before threading them into Sam’s long wet hair. His eyes fluttered shut and his mouth parted on an “oh” as you began to work it all through his hair, massaging his scalp as you went along. You could feel Sam’s puffs of warm breath on your stomach, causing goosebumps to quickly erupt across your wet skin and your nipples to harden. Sam’s eyes opened again and he stared up at you through a heavy-lidded gaze, his pupils blissed out and blown dark. His large hands slowly snaked their way up the back of your calves and cupped the backs of your thighs before he leaned forward and pressed his mouth against your belly. 

Your fingers were still laced through his lathered locks and your breathing came quicker as he lips worked along your naked skin, his tongue darting out to lick up the beads of water still clinging onto your body. Sam shifted your legs a bit more apart so he could scoot himself more forward on his knees and settle himself back onto the heels of his feet. His eyes flickered up to you as his hands smoothed up to cup your ass in his warm palms, his mouth continuing to kiss and lick across your skin as he descended lower and lower. You were practically panting and gripping onto his head for dear life by the time his mouth ghosted over your mound. He kept his eyes trained on yours as he let his tongue dart out slowly to lightly lick your folds. You gasped at the tiny bolt of pleasure that shot through you. Sam continued to hold your gaze as he began to nuzzle the tip of his nose against you, his tongue worming its way between your folds to lick at your clit. You couldn’t look away as Sam repeatedly kitten-licked at your swollen clit, his large palms still kneading your ass and keeping you pressed against his face. You bit down on your bottom lip to try and keep your whines from escaping your mouth. Sam hummed against you in disapproval, shaking his head slightly at you. 

“Come on, Y/N. Don’t keep those pretty noises from me,” Sam rumbled, his voice sounding impossibly low through his arousal. His tongue continued its incessant licks all across and around your clit. High whines punched themselves from your mouth as each times his tongue stroked over you a sharp jolt of pleasure spiked through your pussy. Sam slid one of his hands from your ass to lift your thigh up over his shoulder, leaving you open and bare to his mouth. Your fingers were firmly anchored in his shampooed hair as your balance shifted onto just one of your legs, Sam’s hands gripping your ass and thigh firmly to keep you supported. You practically sobbed as his lips and tongue moved against you. Sam groaned against your pussy as he licked a broad stripe between your soaked folds.

“God, you taste good…” Sam began to prod his tongue inside of you, his nose rubbing against your clit. Your eyes basically rolled back into your head, a loud moan erupting from between your panting. Your hands gripped his head to you tightly as you felt yourself grow closer and closer to your release, your hips bucking against the intensity. Sam’s tongue retracted from between your folds to focus its attention on your clit. The tip of his tongue pressed firmly across your clit over and over again until you were finally pushed over the edge. You clung to Sam in every way you could as you came, crying out as your body was swamped with pleasure. Sam held you firmly as he continued to lick you through your orgasm, afraid that if he let go you would crumple to the shower floor. He eased your leg off of his shoulder to return to the ground, keeping you leaning against him as he let his hand reach out and snatch up your wash cloth. 

“You okay?” Sam rumbled up to you.

“God, yes,” you sighed on a laugh, looking down to see him beaming up at you.

“Squeeze some of your shower gel on this for me.” He held the washcloth up for you as you shakily grabbed the bottle, popped the cap, and drizzled some out onto it. Sam stuck it under the shower and began to lather the soapy wet cloth up in his hand. He raised himself back up more fully on his knees as he began to clean your body. He let his cloth-covered hand slide across your shoulder, down your arm and back up before traveling across your collarbone to repeat his actions on the other side. He wiped down across your chest, circling each breast lovingly and leaving them soaped up. His hand traveled around your side and all across your back and shoulder blades, coming back down across the curve of your ass and down along your legs. Sam moved the washcloth to your belly and wiped it soothingly before he paused low on the crease of your hip. 

“Can I clean you here?” he asked softly. You let his quiet question sink in for a moment before you hesitantly nodded your consent.

Sam slowly eased his hand and washcloth around your mound before gently pressing it between your folds and wiping you clean. You hadn’t noticed your grip tightening in his hair until Sam was murmuring assurances to you.

“Shhh…you’re alright,” he whispered up to you. Your grip loosened and you let your hands finally slip from Sam’s hair as he rose back up to his full height before you. He guided you back under the lukewarm spray to rinse the suds from your skin and the conditioner from your hair. Sam leaned forward and pressed his mouth to yours sweetly, the taste of you lingering on his lips and tongue. He parted from you and hunched down under the showerhead to rinse out his shampoo. While he stood with eyes closed under the water, you let your eyes wander down to his persevering erection. The whole length of his thick cock was flushed a ruddy pink, and he looked almost painfully hard. You felt yourself getting wet again as you gazed at it and across the rest of Sam’s insanely gorgeous body. As he ducked back from underneath the showerhead, you grabbed his washcloth and body wash and lathered it up in your hands. You glanced back up at him to see him regarding you quietly. Smiling softly, you stepped closer to him.

“Turn around, please.”

He did so quietly. You took your time as you smoothed the soapy cloth across his broad shoulders and down the plains of his back, admiring his toned muscles along the way. He turned his head back towards you and smirked as your hand drifted down and glided across his ass, lingering a bit to cup each firm globe in your palm with a wink. He chuckled and shook his head at you before you continued your path down and around his long legs. You made sure to wash front and back before rising back to your full height. You nudged him to turn around and face you. You started wiping the cloth across his chest and all around his pecks. Ever-so-slowly you made your way down across his chiseled abs, noting the way his body tensed up the lower your hand moved along. You swallowed down your nerves and tried your best to keep your hand from shaking as you slowly let your washcloth-covered palm cup the underside of Sam’s cock.

Sam sucked in a shaky breath as you smoothed the washcloth up along his erection. You wrapped your hand around him and hesitantly stroked his thick length, the tips of your fingers just barely reaching around him. You eased your grip up and down and blushed when you heard Sam moan softly to himself. Your eyes stared down at your hand as you continued your ministrations. On the next stroke up you grazed the tip of your bare thumb across the flushed head and elicited another moan from deep within Sam’s chest. You were surprised at how smooth it felt against the pad of your thumb. Slowly, you let the washcloth slip from your hand to drop to the shower floor with a splat. You gripped Sam’s cock with your bare palm and relished in his hot velvety hardness as you continued to stroke him. Sam was audibly panting now as your tiny hand pumped his erection, speeding up slightly as your confidence built. You gave him a little squeeze towards the head and smiled at the sound of Sam’s pleasure-soaked groan echoing around you in the shower.

You finally glanced up at Sam’s face to see his eyes squeezed shut, his brow furrowed and his mouth parted. You stepped even closer to him, feeling your hand grazing against your belly as you stroked him more firmly, leaning forward to press your mouth hotly against his chest.

“Shit, Y/N…” Sam moaned breathlessly. You could feel his muscles clenching beneath your lips. One of his hands threaded itself into your hair at the back of your neck while the other pressed warmly against your lower back. You quickened your strokes along his incredibly hardened length, Sam’s moans above you becoming incessant. It only took you a few more strokes before Sam’s grip on you tightened and he came in white spurts of cum over your hand, some landing on the skin of your belly. You could feel his cock pulsing in your grip as you lazily pumped him through the rest of his orgasm. Once he began to soften in your hand you released him gently, still peppering soft, wet kisses against his chest. Sam pressed his face into the top of your head and held you for a few moments. 

The water felt quite cool on your skin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh, it's almost been a month since I updated! :/ I hope this long, steamy chapter makes up for that a bit. I have about two more weeks til the end of this semester, and then I hope to be writing a bit more frequently than I have been. As always, I absolutely adore your comments and kudos. <3 Thanks for reading, luvies. :)


	20. Chapter 20

Several weeks had passed since you and Sam had started to venture into the more sexual aspect of your relationship. That first late night and following morning shower held a lot of firsts for you, and Sam really took that to heart. He assured you that he didn’t regret any of it, but he did not want to overwhelm you or inadvertently pressure you into doing more than you were truly ready for. That following night Sam just wanted to hold you. You exchanged several sweet kisses without too many wandering hands before curling up together and drifting off to sleep. 

Sam was incredibly thoughtful and patient with you as you both began to become more intimately involved with each other. As each week went by, you became a bit more comfortable with your body and thinking of yourself as a sexual being. You had no problem initiating physical contact, especially kissing, but you were still a little hesitant to initiate anything more intimate. Sam seemed fairly attuned to your body language and accompanying feelings, and he always let you determine what would happen between the two of you. If you seemed too nervous or flinched at further touch, Sam simply would keep everything above the waist and kiss you senseless. If you seemed a bit more at ease and eager … well … then Sam’s mouth usually found its way between your legs to enthusiastically eat you out and bring you to orgasm. On the nights you were feeling braver you would help him reach his own orgasm if he hadn’t managed to rub it out against the mattress. Sam never seemed to be preoccupied with getting himself off along with you, but he clearly enjoyed it when you would pull his boxers down his hips or sneak your hand into his waistband to wrap your hand around his velvety hard erection, stroking and squeezing him to completion. All of the love and pleasure you were giving to each other was quickly becoming one of your favorite things to indulge in with this large, beautiful man you were lucky enough to call yours.

One afternoon you found yourself bored reading alone in your room. The boys were in between hunts, and they were mostly spending their time sifting through the news to find any possible leads. You usually left it to the boys to sniff out the monsters and only jumped in once they had figured out what they were dealing with. Hence why you were currently curled up with a book on your own to pass the time. You loved reading, you really did, but sometimes you just weren’t quite in the right mood. 

To be honest, you were distracted. Your mind kept straying from your reading material to your more physical activities with Sam the night before. A blush quickly creeped its way up your neck and bloomed hotly in your cheeks. The more you thought about him and the way he made your body feel, the more you wanted to continue those activities right then and there. You had no idea if Sam would be privy to your mood, but you figured that there was only one way to find out. With a little mischievous smirk blooming across your face, you closed your book and left it on your bed as you headed out of your room and down the hall toward the library.

You round the corner to find Sam alone and hunched over his laptop at one of the large library tables. His head perks up as he hears you padding quietly up to him from behind. You wrap your arms loosely around his neck as he leans back into your embrace.

“Hey,” Sam turns his head to gift you with a dimpled smile. You press your lips against his cheek.

“Hmmm… Hi,” you hum as you smile against his skin. You could feel the barest hint of stubble prickling against your lips. His large, warm palms come up from his keyboard to rest gently around your forearms where they’re draped across his chest. You slowly begin to press soft teasing kisses along his cheek bone and around his ear.

“Where’s Dean?” you murmur into Sam’s ear, playfully nipping at the lobe and coaxing a low grunt and chuckle from him. 

“Out getting supplies… Why do you ask?” he questions playfully, clearly knowing where this is heading.

“Well…I’m kind of bored…” you whisper into his ear, the tip of your tongue darting out to delicately trace the shell of his ear. You give his earlobe another little nip before stepping around his side and straddling his lap. Sam’s hands immediately settle on your hips as your hands smooth across the tops of his broad shoulders to the back of his neck, fingers tangling in his long brown hair. 

“You’re bored, huh?” Sam’s smirk morphs into a devilish grin. “Well…is there anything I can do to help that?” One of his hands spans across your lower back as the other slips down to cup your ass, giving it a little squeeze and pulling you a bit closer to him. Your mouth parts on a quiet gasp as his actions cause you to grind briefly against his lap. Sam watches your every little reaction with his darkening eyes, pupils blown wide. You’re quickly becoming hot and bothered as you press your body against Sam’s muscled form.

“Maybe…” you murmur on a breathless moan. 

You bring your lips closer to his, but you stop just short of kissing him. Sam tries to lean his head forward to meet your lips but you pull back just enough to keep your lips hovering above his. Your teasing is clearly working him up as he pants quietly against your mouth. You can feel him hardening beneath you as you shift your hips against his lap. Sam tries again to catch your mouth with his but you pull just enough away to deny him. He groans softly in lust-driven frustration.

“You just gonna be a tease, Y/N?” Sam grins, “Cause two can play that game…” Sam’s hand glides up to cup the back of your neck as he ducks his head to nuzzle lightly along your jaw. Your breathing hitches as you feel his parted lips skimming across your neck, his breath hot on your skin. When you feel his tongue dart out briefly to lick at your skin you can’t hold back a low moan from bubbling out of you. You shift again in his lap, and Sam’s other hand still gripping your ass encourages you to grind against him. Pleasure shoots through you at the friction between your legs, and a soft gasp of surprise slips between your parted lips. 

“Mmmm…you like that?” Sam hums against your throat, now starting to kiss, lick, and suck at your throat more determinedly. This time when he grips your ass to grind against him, he bucks his hips up against you too and makes the friction even more intense. A choked-out whine erupts from your throat, your grip tightening in his hair. Sam’s mouth kisses back up along your jaw briefly before finally capturing your mouth with his, tongue quickly slipping between your lips with a muffled moan of his own. 

This position of straddling Sam’s lap and grinding eagerly together is a new thing for you, and one you are quickly learning to love. This kind of pressure against your sex is much different than when Sam uses his mouth. Almost like he’s reading your mind, Sam pulls back from your heated kisses.

“Does that feel good?” he murmurs against your mouth. He pulls you to grind against him firmly again. You moan and barely manage a nod of your head.

“Use your words,” Sam rumbles softly. You could swoon from how sexy that sounded in his low timbre.

“Yes, Sam,” you breathe against his mouth. You can feel Sam shiver slightly beneath you as he answers you with a quiet groan. 

“Can I try something, Y/N?” Sam is giving you some serious bedroom eyes as he waits for your consent. You nod as you lean back in to capture his lips, your mind deliciously hazy with pleasure. He smiles against your lips as he hums into the kiss before pulling back again and catching your gaze with his. 

“Just tell me if you want to stop, okay?”

“Yes, Sam.” 

He smirks at your reply before he pulls your hips firmly against him again to continue grinding against each other. He slowly inches his hand around the front of your hip until his thumb presses against the center seam of your jeans. You stiffen briefly but relax a bit as his thumb presses against you, centering that pleasurable pressure perfectly on your clit through the thick fabric. 

“You okay?” Sam asks quietly. He is carefully regarding your expression as he begins to rub you. Your hands grip onto his shoulders as the pleasure continues to build. 

“Y-yes,” you manage to stutter out. You squeeze your eyes shut, your brow furrowing as you focus on the friction between your legs. Your hips begin to rock against his hand almost of their own accord as you try to chase your release seemingly just out of your reach. What Sam is doing feels so good but it just isn’t quite enough with the thicker fabric of your jeans acting as a barrier, and you press your forehead against his and moan helplessly as he keeps you just on the brink of orgasm. 

“S-Sam, please,” you huff out between your labored breathing, your hands sliding back up his neck and clutching tightly in his hair. Sam seems almost as wrecked as you are while he continues to make you writhe and moan in his lap. 

“God I want to feel you…” Sam pants before tilting his head and capturing your mouth again with hot, desperate kisses. Way in the back of your mind you feel a tiny spark of uncertainty tinged with a hint of fear, but you decide to keep yourself preoccupied with how much you are enjoying what Sam is doing with you now. You both eventually come apart gasping against each other, his mouth soon continuing lower to lick and suck at your neck. Sam’s thumb abruptly backs off to a lighter pressure between your legs, and you whine helplessly at his merciless teasing. His mouth shifts up to murmur hotly in your ear.

“D’you know what I’d love to do for the next few hours, Y/N?” Sam asks as he nips and nuzzles at your ear. You manage to shake your head no.

“I’d love to see how many times I can make you come with my fingers…” He punctuates that last bit with another firm press of his thumb against your center. And with that, you’re completely lost in your lust.

“Oh God, yes… please, Sam… Please,” your plea tumbles out of your mouth with a few breathy moans.

Sam practically knocks his chair over as he stands up so quickly with you held tightly against him. You instantly wrap your legs around his waist as he swiftly carts you off towards the bedrooms, one hand under your ass while the other smooths up your back as he kisses you senseless. As soon as he carries you into his room he kicks the door shut behind him firmly. You cling to him tightly as he crawls up the bed with you and lays you both down onto it.

“You sure about this?” Sam murmurs against your mouth in between your kisses. You hesitate briefly before deciding to answer truthfully.

“Honestly? I’m not sure, but I…I trust you, Sam,” you whisper against his lips. He pauses and leans back until you’re gazing quietly at each other. 

“If at any point you’re not okay, Y/N, you just say the word and we’ll stop. I promise.”

“I know, Sam,” you lean up to press your lips against his. “Please, just…just touch me…”

Sam continues to kiss you firmly as you both roll to lie on your sides, still facing each other. His hand glides slowly down your neck, across your chest, along your waist, and around to cup your ass and pull you forward until your hips are flush up against his. He gently hooks your leg over his hip before he begins to leisurely grind his erection against you. You tilt your head back at the friction against you, and Sam wastes no time mouthing hotly along your neck. His hands sneak under the hem of your shirt and slide the thin cotton up as his large hands span across your torso and glide along your skin. You shift yourself up and separate from his mouth to let him pull the shirt completely off of you. Your hands similarly find their way underneath Sam’s t-shirt and coax him to rid himself of it, too. As soon as his chiseled torso is in view, your palms descend upon his hot skin. One thing’s for sure, there is nothing soft about Sam. He is purely solid muscle under toned skin…and you can never get enough of touching him and feeling his hard body pressed up against your much smaller frame. 

Sam shifts you to your back and hovers over you, and you arch your back up to push your chest against Sam’s while your arms wrap around his neck. You can feel one of Sam’s hands spanning across the entirety of your ribcage and sliding its way up to cup your breast through your bra, plucking at your nipple through the material with his forefinger and thumb. His hand slips around to worm its way between you and the mattress to try and reach the clasp. You arch your back further to let his long fingers reach it and successfully unhook your bra. You let your arms unfurl from around his neck to cross themselves over your chest and slide the straps down the length of your arms. You pull your bra completely off, tossing it blindly to the side before letting Sam’s chest touch yours without any barrier. 

The heat radiating between your bodies causes both of you to breakout in a thin layer of sweat. Slick skin slides against slick skin, and mouths part in soft gasps of air. Sam’s mouth eventually drifts from your own to lick and suck gently on your neck, the ends of his long hair tickling your collarbone. Your fingers thread themselves through his hair before you lightly scratch your nails down the back of his neck and along the rippling muscles of his back and shoulders, eliciting a pleasured groan from Sam that resonates against your skin. He takes his time kneading your breasts and thumbing your nipples until you’re practically a writhing mess of pure want. 

Once he’s coaxed a few more moans and whines from you, Sam finally takes pity and gradually slides his hand down your belly. His fingers tease your skin along the waist band of your jeans before he slides his hand over them and further south to rub against the seam between your legs again. You press your hips up into his hand to chase that pleasurable pressure on your sex. His hand shifts back up to the top of your jeans to ease down the zipper and deftly release the button. His fingers trace along the hint of your panties revealed between the open v of your zipper and only barely dips the tips between the fabrics to continue teasing you. Sam’s mouth finally detaches from your neck as he sits up a bit to use both of his hands to slowly work your jeans off of your hips, watching your reactions with a heavy-lidded gaze. You lift your hips again to make it easier for him to completely tug them off of your legs before they are dropped to the floor to join the other discarded articles of clothing. 

You can practically feel Sam’s gaze as his eyes trace up the length and shape of your mostly naked form while he stretches back along your side. His hand cups the back of your neck and his fingers thread into your hair before his mouth descends onto yours again. Sam licks his way back into your mouth as his hand retreats from your hair and makes its way between your breasts and down your belly. The tips of his fingers dance lightly along the waistband of your panties before slowly tracing light patterns on top of the thin fabric covering your mound. You feel your heart clench ever so slightly in apprehension but you try your best to push the feeling all the way to the back of your mind. You tell yourself you’re fine, you’re safe, he won’t hurt you…but as Sam’s touch gets closer and closer to your panty-covered slit, you can’t fight back the way your body reflexively stiffens and your breath catches in your throat. Sam immediately stills his fingers and releases your mouth to leans back to see your face.

“Hey, you okay?” he asks, sounding and looking concerned at your body’s reaction. 

“I’m sorry,” you automatically whisper, “I wasn’t trying—I-I want you to—I just—”

“Shhh…it’s okay, we can pause,” Sam quickly assures you, pressing sweet kisses against your lips as you mentally rein yourself back in. His hand is still where it was when you froze up, not moving or putting pressure on you but resting gently on top of your mound. Sam knows you well enough now to know when you’re triggered you just want him to stop exactly where he was and not to automatically retreat his touch. Sometimes, like right now, your body and mind clash and you just need a moment to figure out whether you want him to continue or to really stop. 

You close your eyes and lean up into Sam’s kisses as you take a minute to breathe and think. You still feel sweetly achy beneath Sam’s warm palm and your body is practically vibrating from how much you want him to touch you. Your mind starts back up in a soft chant ‘He won’t hurt you, he won’t hurt you, he won’t hurt you…’ as you let yourself sink back into the moment with Sam. After another moment, you hesitantly shift your hips against Sam’s warm palm to silently signal to him that no matter how shaky you may be you’re back in control of your body. 

Ever so slowly Sam begins to move his fingers lightly across the thin fabric of your panties again. His touch is so light that it almost feels ticklish as it begins to work you back up to your earlier level of desire. Sam starts to mouth along your jaw and neck, and every once in a while his finger tip will gently swipe just above your slit, startling a moan from your lips. He gently eases his hand lower until he can trace directly overtop your slit, and he groans when he finally feels how you’ve already soaked through the fabric. 

“Oh god…you’re already so wet,” Sam murmurs against the slickness of your skin. All you can manage through the fog of lust clouding your mind is a moan in affirmation. When you feel Sam slide the pad of one of his fingers against you to center over your clit, you practically slam your head back into the pillows and see stars dancing behind your eyelids. Sam’s hungry lips and tongue find their way back up to your mouth as he begins to rub small, slow circles through the soaked fabric around your throbbing clit. He steadily increases the pressure as he continues to rub you, swallowing your whines and moans as he continues to devour your mouth. Soon you can’t keep your hips still and you can feel how hard Sam is through his jeans as he presses into the side of your hip. 

It’s not long before the familiar feeling of your impending orgasm burns deep in your core and winds you up so tight that you feel your entire body tensing up before the pleasure rips through you. Your back arches and you cry out and pant against Sam’s open mouth as he continues to rub you through your orgasm. Sam groans in appreciation before he slips your panties down, pulling them off to leave you completely naked and slick with sweat. He hovers over you and eagerly watches your face as his finger returns to your center, sliding between your slick folds briefly to gather more of your wetness before returning to your clit. You practically whimper when he starts rubbing you again, building you back up to that deep-seated pleasure between your legs. 

“Sam,” you moan as you grip at his arm and press your face into the side of his neck. You nip and suck at his skin while his finger maintains its steady pace against your clit. It seems all too soon that you’re arching into him again and coming hard for the second time. Sam shifts his unoccupied hand to cup the side of your face and raise it back up to his gaze so he can watch you as you come apart at his touch again. 

“God, you’re so beautiful when you come…” he husks out, leaning down to press another hungry kiss against your mouth. When your orgasm begins to subside you expect Sam to stop his ministrations between your legs, but instead he just keeps on rubbing you. Your clit swells and sings at the firm attention Sam keeps pressing against you. Your nails dig into where you cling to him tightly as you continue to writhe against his relentless hand. With muscles taught and straining against the persistent pleasure, your third orgasm erupts through you as a shout tears from your throat. 

“That’s three,” Sam rumbles in your ear, his finger slowing down but not ceasing its rhythm around our clit. He lets you catch your breath while he presses soft kisses across your cheeks and closed eyelids. Sam has never given you this many orgasms with his mouth within a single sexual encounter. Frankly, you’re starting to feel a little winded and still his hand continues to move between your legs. You’re bewildered and almost concerned when you can feel yourself starting to climb its way back towards release again.

“Sa—?”

“Shhh…I gotcha, baby girl,” Sam murmurs against your lips. “You’re doing so well… Wanna see you come again.” You moan and numbly nod your head up at him as you helplessly sink back into the pleasure.

Sweat drips and pools along Sam’s rippling muscles as he keeps rubbing you firmly. His erection continues to press through his jeans against the side of your hip, the fabric rough and delicious against your skin as you writhe nearly uncontrollably now at the onslaught of sensation on your clit. Somewhere underneath your loud and harsh breathing you can hear how Sam grunts and groans deep in his chest every time you move against him. Your awareness of Sam’s apparent pleasure is quickly pushed to the back of your mind, however, when Sam speeds up the circles around your clit. Soon you’re barreling towards another climax, eyes screwed shut and mouth open as you feel yourself come again. You practically sob when your mind comes back to your body enough to realize Sam is still rubbing your clit. 

“Sa—Sam, please…I—I can’t—” you beg breathlessly. Sam sucks and nips on your pulse point hammering away in your neck, his breath hot on your skin before he brings his gaze back up to your face.

“One more, Y/N. You can give me one more,” Sam pants, eyes blurry with lust as he keeps rubbing you and watches you writhe and moan against him. You shake your head slightly even while you feel the desire fighting to curl again hot and low in your center. Your body is on sensation overload, and pleasure is starting to blur deliciously with the barest hint of pain as Sam somehow finds the energy to rub you even faster and harder than he has been. You’re practically thrashing against his body along your side and the hand wedged between your legs, completely unaware of the way Sam is grinding against your hip and moaning just as uncontrollably as you are. Suddenly everything is too much and not enough all at once, and you come for the fifth time screaming your pleasure. Sam presses into you so hard it’s enough to bruise as he shouts his own release. 

His hand finally stills between your legs. 

Gasping desperately for a full breath of air, you lay there sprawled out alongside Sam, completely boneless. You’re drenched in sweat and your trembling thighs are completely slick with your own juices. After a few moments, Sam gingerly lifts his hand from your incredibly sensitive folds and clit, and he brings it up to his mouth so he can lick and suck away the wetness that coats his fingers with a satisfied hum. Once you both have caught your breath, Sam turns to hover over you again and presses slow, soft kisses against your mouth. He nudges your nose with the tip of his sweetly as you quietly stare into each other’s eyes. He presses one more kiss to your mouth before he slowly levers himself up and off the bed. 

Standing, Sam peels his damp jeans and underwear off before digging through his drawers for a clean pair of boxers for him and one of his shirts for you. He leans down and snatches up his discarded t-shirt from off of the floor before kneeling back onto the bed. Sam pauses to catch your eye before he reaches down and gently wipes away some of the excessive slick between your thighs, tossing it back to the floor once you’ve been cleaned up a bit. He gently eases you up into a sitting position before helping you pull the thin cotton over your head. 

You both settle back onto the bed, laying in each other’s arms and exchanging a few lazy kisses. Who knows what time it is. You can feel your stomach gurgling and hinting to you that you both probably missed dinner, but you don’t care. Right now, there’s nothing that could get you to leave Sam’s bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I...I don't even know where to start. I am so INCREDIBLY sorry that it's taken me so long to post an update. It was just one thing after another, and I feel like I need to explain myself to you all. 
> 
> First, I had my finals, and then I had to unexpectedly deal with some intense family drama that resulted in relocating my grandmother to a new apartment closer to us. My winter break was mostly helping her get settled in and wrestling with some major writer's block. Then by the time I had battled most of my way through it, classes started again. And this semester has been literally HELL for me. I've been struggling a lot with my mental and physical health recently, too, and I just couldn't find the time to breathe, think, and write like I wanted to. 
> 
> Thank you to those who reached out to me while I seemingly fell off the face of the earth. I really appreciate it. I just cannot explain to you how happy and relieved I am that I've finally finished this update. Thank you, thank you for being patient with me. And thank you, thank you, thank you for reading! I really hope it was worth the wait. Much love, y'all. <3


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